Readers, don’t say GapersBlock's never done nothing for you. We're using this week’s Public Notice column to bring you a few holiday shopping ideas so you can get all that crap done early this year. We've scoured the List du Craig for meaningful presents that will really send your loved ones a message. Because a present isn't a present without subtext.

Enjoy!

bedroom set - $500
THIS END UP brand bedroom set. Good condition. Set includes: 5 drawer dresser, student desk, bookshelf with light, upholstered chair, two cubbies, 2 twin beds,ladder, and underbed storage unit. Beds may be arranged in multiple configurations.Price negotiable. What a way to set the stage for a very chilly empty nest.

If your kids have all left for college and you don’t want that dirty so-and-so you’ve been married to for 23 years touching you EVER, go bunkbed.

LP OAK CONGAS - QUINTO, CONGA - AND BONGOS - $600
I'm selling a set of LP Classic Congas in natural wood finish with gold hardware. In excellent condition, asking $500. The bongos are the matching classic series in natural wood finish with gold hardware and sound great, although the rims have a lot of pitting. Because of that, I'm only asking $100 for the bongos.

All of the heads are in excellent shape (the bongo has a new head for the small drum) and the drums have the LP comfort curve rims. I will also include LP conga feet for both drums. Feel free to contact me with requests for more pictures. Call 847.XXX.XXXX

This gift is great for the following types of people: 1) mid-'90s tiki fanatics 2) the children of relatives who owe you money 3) your new stepnephew Julio who you think is Cuban … or Dominican ... or something.

New Waterford Kilbarry Guilloche Roller Ball Pen for Holidays - $69
These pens feature a distinct guilloche pattern in the barrel. The Kilbarry fountain pen has a large, steel nib tipped with iridium and engraved with the Waterford Seahorse logo. The Kilbarry pens are made of solid brass with platinum plating over the distinctive guilloche pattern. From the the Waterford parish, Kilbarry, which lends its name to this family of fine writing instruments. Multiple layers of transparent lacquer create a lustrous depth of color accented with platinum-plated clip and trim.

Get your special today at URL EDITED.

Augh. You've bought for everyone on your list except for your cold WASP father. You know nothing's ever good enough for him and that whatever you give him will be reviewed with a steely squint and a sip of Macallen. And man, you know that he just hates writing you those trust fund checks every month. So why not make that old bastard kick you your Grandfather Montgomery's money with a pricey mick-hewn pen. Because if it's anything your father hates more than you, it's the Irish.

Chrome Pitbull Necklace with chain - $8
New Bling Bling

Lol. But if you're still in that phase where you just want to openly piss off the old man, nothing will do it more than a dimestore pitbull necklace. Also good for the gang kingpin in your life. Or Michael Vick.

Full Length Blonde Beaver Fur Coat - $1500
I have a beautiful Beaver Fur Coat that I have worn less than ten times. It is a size 8-10. Unfortunately, I moved to warmer weather for some time and then gained weight. It doesn't fit anymore and it has been in storage with Marshall Fields/Macys. I purchased the fur at Marshall Fields fur boutique so the quality is high. I have requested the fur from storage and it is due next week. Please contact me with any questions. This would be a great Christmas present for yourself or for someone special in your life. Apparently this year the Beaver Fur Coat is hard to find in the US because most of the stock went to Europe. This is what the Macys sales person told me when I asked about trading it in. Have a great day.

Okay, this item just made us laugh. Blonde beaver. Ha ha ha. Whew. Okay, if you're a greasy dude looking for a present for his cookie, nothing says "on your knees" like a blonde beaver coat.

COACH Mini Signature Lurex Mini Skinny SILVER - New w Tags & Gift Rcpt - $35

It's time to hit the party circuit in style! Also makes a great gift for the holidays!

COACH Mini Signature Lurex Mini Skinny - brand new and just released for the 2007 Holiday Season. Only available in Factory Stores, not available online. Also available in Black lurex and Gold lurex.

Get yours for only $35 cash and carry FIRM. Local only, no shipping.

However, if you're looking for a sure-fire winner for most women, a Coach clutch is a pretty good bet. Unless your gal is one of those hippie vegan chicks who’d rather have a new bike seat. (Hint!)

250 NYC CONDOMS (new york city) - $50
i am selling 250 nyc condoms the condoms don't exp til 2009

i will ship them i have been selling these all over the usa. these are great for (parties) etc...

These condoms were found in the Collectibles section, btw. They're great for parties, apparently. Perfect stocking stuffer.

BONE LOVERS!!! Large horse skull-Good condition - $40
Large horse's skull for sale. Bought it from an old farmer at the Denver flea market and have been dragging it around for years, time to let it go. Good condition other than some damage to the front teeth. Probably from a draft breed, Percheron or Clydesdale is my best guess because this thing is BIG!!! Aprox. 2 1/2 feet long and 1 foot wide. Great conversation starter~! Show your friends!

Asking $40 OR BEST OFFER

If you're a BONE LOVER or buying for a BONE LOVER, then why not pick up a BIG BONE! While you're probably wondering how exactly the front teeth got damaged, I'm busy putting in an order for this BIG BONE. See if you can beat me!