I hate Velveeta cheese with a passion. I really don't like cream of mushroom soup, and cheap-ass beer doesn't exactly turn me on. Yet somehow, when all of the above are melted together with salsa, a creamy, spicy, shockingly delicious chip dip is created. It doesn't make sense to my brain, but it makes hella sense to my mouth. Every batch of queso is a miniature stove-top miracle. It's kitchen alchemy at its finest.
Start with a jar of Pace picante sauce, a medium-sized loaf of Velveeta cheese, a can of Campbell's cream of mushroom soup, and a can of the cheapest beer you can find (I used High Life, but Schlitz, Old Style, and PBR are all fine choices, too.)
Dump the salsa, the soup, and the "cheese" into a saucepan over medium heat. Crack open the beer and pour in about half the can. At this point you might notice that the mixture in the pan looks a lot like vomit. Chill out, it's gonna be fine. Drink the rest of the beer while you give the glop in the saucepan an occasional stir. By the time you've finished the beer, the Velveeta will be mostly liquified. Stir a little more until everything is evenly melted together.
Now that you've got a whole saucepan brimming with cheesy goodness, gather some friends around, pop open a bag of Tostitos, and dig in. At home we have special little round table for the pot of queso. Whenever queso time rolls around, we spread the chips out on the vintage 1970s shag carpeting around the low table, arrange ourselves in a tight circle around the chips, and worship at the temple of cheese.
Please, don't attempt to make queso alone. The powerful addictive properties will make it impossible to resist grotesquely overeating, which could result in, at best, a case of queso-belly, or at worst, coronary heart failure. Eating queso is an intrinsically social experience. Eating queso alone perverts the true nature of the food and destroys its magical ability to turn enemies into friends, friends into lovers, and lovers into sexy naked lovers covered in bright-orange cheese dip.
Dip safely, dip with friends.
*Noten: Yo se que "queso" significa "cheese." Sin embargo, en Minnesota, y por contexto de esta receta "queso" significa "dip for chips."**
**(For English speakers:) Note: I know that "queso" means "cheese." However, in Minnesota and therefore in the context of this recipe, "queso" means "dip for chips."
Naz / November 18, 2003 12:28 AM
Holy shit, I can only imagine how bored you were/out of interesting food to make this, only because I've done this sort of thing before. It looks pretty damn good in that last photo and indeed, vomit-like and inducing in that second one. Does the beer really add to it?
My concoction: scramble some eggs, throw in a can of baked beans and then add a few slices of whatever cheese you have handy. Oh yeah, breakfast food of the gods and champions. Mop it up with toast.