Comics Thu Nov 12 2009

God's Pottery Advises, 'Get Stupid Drunk On Christ'

Chicago's sinner concentration isn't any higher than say, San Francisco's, but God's Pottery will do their best to -- satirically -- save some souls when they hit The Lakeshore Theater on Thursday.

"It would be nice if we could say honestly that all the heathens were located in one place, but unfortunately, there are desperate souls spread out across the land," said Gideon Lamb, half of the screwball duo that spreads their God-fearing message through music and motivational spoofs.

"The truth is, there are people sprinkled all over this country who need our help and that's why we're on the road," said duo's other Christian caricature, Jeremiah Smallchild. "Really, our work is never done."

The real truth is that God's Pottery is promoting their new book, What Would God's Pottery Do? released on the heels of their attention-grabbing run on NBC's "Last Comic Standing." They've also been busy making "Christ'd" episodes, sort of like "Punk'd" but with good-natured pranks, and hitting audiences over the head with their twisted theology.

God's Pottery -- personas created by much savvier New York City comedians Krister Johnson and Wilson Hall -- use tactics perfected by the evangelicals, particularly encouraging messages targeted at teens. Their book, subtitled, The Ultimate Guide to Surviving Your Teens and/or Being Successful, covers all age groups, though. The press material says it best: Should a 47-year-old bachelor give up on premarital abstinence? Does acne suddenly become "cool" at 39? Is it less embarrassing to get a penile erection during a staff meeting than it is during algebra?

"Think of the path of life as a spaceship traveling from Earth to Mars or some other far away planet," Smallchild said. "The journey itself is life, but youth is the blast off and that's the most dangerous part -- where things can comically explode and fall back to Earth."

God's Pottery promises a quiverful of songs at their Chicago show, including old standbys like "The Pants Come Off When the Ring Goes On" and "Jesus, I Need a Drink."

"We're not saying that you don't ever drink. We like to have a drink every now and again," Lamb said.

"Yeah, every Sunday!" Smallchild said.

"That's a little setup and knockdown we like to do," Lamb said.

"But seriously, alcohol is a drug. A liquid drug," Smallchild added.

"And that means people are often doing drugs during our show, and we really kind of slap them in the face with the glove of hard facts," Lamb said. "And then we show them another way to get drunk, which is to get stupid drunk on Christ."

They'll cover some uncharted territory at their show, too, like the plight of adopted children.

"People have really got to give them a shot because these kids often feel so down on themselves, like they're not worth anything or they're different or strange. We let them know they're pretty," Lamb said.

The adoption song's called "You're As Special As a Normal Child."

"You can always see them smiling, or at least trying to smile at the end of the song," Smallchild said.

Look out for "Stained Glass," written for divorced women who often feel "like old trash and recycled materials," said Smallchild, and a song about self-abuse, aka "squeeze pleasing," or "a hand vote at the staff meeting."

There's no telling what stops God's Pottery will pull out, but Chicago can expect at least one thing: "Expect the nice guy quotient to go up by two!" said Smallchild. "They say Chicago is so nice that it says, 'Hi' in the name, and we want to come out and say hi to Chicago and come spread our message of peace and joy and make some friends."

Look for catchy lyrics, problem solving and conversations about life skillz. "That's with a 'Z' because that's what the kids are into," Smallchild said. And there might be some rapping and break dancing (but no promises).

"We are first and foremost entertainers, so people should put rubber bands on the tops of their socks so we don't find a pile of them in the back of the room at the end of the show!" Smallchild said.

The God's Pottery show opens with Tim Harmston at 8pm on Thursday, Nov. 19 at
The Lakeshore Theater, 3175 North Broadway. Tickets are $12 and available here.

— Michelle Peterson / Comments (0)