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Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
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Saturday, May 18

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Comedy Thu Mar 21 2013

Bitch, I'll Cut You..."But You'll Look Great"


Monique Madrid's show Bitch, I'll Cut You, which appeared earlier this month at Mary's Attic in Andersonville, was like a rum and Coke buzz in this frigid, hopeless March. In the show, Madrid plays her alter ego, Monica Barcelona, a hairdresser and cosmetologist who is as sassy as she is sensuously dressed. Watching Bitch, I'll Cut You, which has appeared at the Chicago Women's Funny Festival, The Compass Improv Festival and at The Annoyance Theater, is like watching the reality TV show "Jerseylicious" live, except it is funny and smart.

Bitch, I'll Cut You opened with a performance by She's Crafty, Chicago's all-female Beastie Boys tribute band, who, in their red and blue track suits and badass attitudes, could not be feistier. She's Crafty is not just a band; they are an event, and one that is not to be missed.


Monica Barcelona starts Bitch, I'll Cut You in her "salon," an arrangement of couches, tables and magazines on the stage, where she invites guests up for gossip and friendly banter about the news. The salon set up is a fun way for audiences to see comedians in a casual, unscripted setting.

The second segment of the show, in which Monica Barcelona brings up a celebrity guest for a haircut, really takes the cake. Before you panic and start profusely sweating, you might want to know that Madrid actually has her cosmetology license, and apparently it is possible to cut hair without it being wet, so everything ends up being okay. In the latest show, Madrid brought up writer Claire Zulkey, whose haircut turned out as fantastic as their conversation. There is really something about a person cutting hair, whether it's happening to you or you are watching, that is mesmerizing and comforting, allowing you to totally let your guard down. It is this level of comfort that Madrid captures in her show. Audience and performers just kind of melt into the lulling rhythm of the scissors, laughing as the celebrity hair flies all over the stage and the jokes keep rolling through the pretend salon where you can drink appletinis.

Madrid promises that the show will be back in action again soon, so check out for upcoming dates.

Photos by Katey Selix

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Architecture Tue Nov 03 2015

Paul Goldberger Describes the "Pragmatism and Poetry" of Frank Gehry's Architecture in His New Book

By Nancy Bishop

Architecture critic Paul Goldberger talks about Frank Gehry's life and work in a new book.
Read this feature »

Steve at the Movies Fri Jan 01 2016

Best Feature Films & Documentaries of 2015

By Steve Prokopy

Read this column »


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