You can blame it on reality TV, maybe, but for some reason or another the city's landscape has been spotted with derivative establishments meant to emulate some sort of urban-rustic style or fashion to better serve a growing hipster clientele. Urban Outfitters is the biggest culprit: they purposely fashion their stores to look as if they broke into a warehouse and set up an overpriced boutique. Take the UO on Clark near Fullerton. Exposed ceilings, "cracked" cement floors and roughly hewn wood abound. This is after, of course, you pass through the "shattered" glass door. Real such places exist: Ragstock, for example, was built up from nothing and has been around forever.
The dive bar is another fascination of the hipster crowd. So many false "dive bars" have popped up and become popular in the last three or four years that the situation has become critical: people are beginning to blur the line between reality and reality's shadow.
Now, the term "dive" bar came about because these bars were usually in the basements of buildings and one had to walk down steps to get into them (like Ira's in the Warehouse District). Eventually it came to mean any late-hour bar with seedy atmosphere and cheap prices. Because of what I call the Trucker Chic (also Ugly Chic) movement that has taken hold of many of Chicago's young urban professionals, an aesthetic was created that demanded a "shitty, cheap," bar wherein faded jeans, ironic t-shirts, and foam front/mesh back hats would seem more in place.
But the hipsters didn't want to hang at real dive bars. Such places can be intimidating and more often than not are located in shady neighborhoods.
This is fine: its the fashion of the day, and if you condemned everybody who did something trendy (as this hipster crowd surely is), you'd be a lonely person. The trouble is, the places they call dive bars are absolutely not that. They are dive-knock-offs. More accurately, they're Hipster Bars, designed to accommodate hipsters as much as Neo (Clark north of Belden) is designed to accommodate Goth kids.
So, what is a dive bar?
♠ It should be cheap. But remember, a real dive bar's volume is going to be much lower than that of a Hipster Bar, and therefore it may actually be slightly more expensive than the Hipster Bars you frequent.
♥ It should be simple. Dive bars won't have themes and rarely will have specialty jukeboxes; if they do, it'll be outdated and usually be tailored to an ethnicity or the neighborhood and not a subculture.
♣ Surliness. Any bar in Bridgeport will be a quick leson in surliness. The staff (the single bartender, usually the owner or relative of the owner, and sometimes a busboy/barback) will probably stare at you curiously, as will the clientele, who will be lifers from the neighborhood.
♦ Sports. Wanna strike up a conversation? Try sports. Just don't let the conversation turn to ethnicity, since old-timers are likely to have serious issues with some race or creed.
The biggest rule, of course, is that it can't be a widely known and frequented place that pulls in people from all over the City. People from the neighborhood will probably just call it "the bar." The Rainbo Club on Damen near Division, once a popular hang-out for post-war era Polish toughs and drug addicts, is not a dive bar anymore. Want a place that's still popular with that crowd? The South Loop Club, 600 or so South State, usually has a small coterie of drug dealers and pimps on a given weeknight. Or, if its the Polish themselves you seek, I'm a fan of Tina's, 5708 S. Western.
The L & L, on Clark near Belmont, try as it may, is not a dive bar, but the favorite of any number of hipsters. If you're looking fo ra similar feel, with the added bonus of live music a few nights a week, try 5105 Club, at 5105 W. North Avenue in Austin (try to wear a Blackhawks shirt or UNLV hat -- this is Vice Lord territory, and the Hawk has an upside-down fork on his forehead, and UNLV is backwards for "Vice Lord Nation United).
Along with Trucker Chic comes the style one could call Cowboy Chic, a rebirth of the Urban Cowboy movement of the 1980s with less intensity and more punk-rock roots. To fulfill your cowboy dreams, skip Hogs n' Honeys (1500 or so North Sheffield). You can try A&J's at 6336 South Harlem (Garfield Ridge, next to Summit), or you can stay up there in the Great White North and try Carol's in Uptown (4659 N. Clark), a Southern dive bar featuring real-to-life southerners. Just don't mistake it for Carol's Place. This is a less-than-surly dive in Garfield Park, around 3900 W. Madison. Good place for a game of spades and cheap booze--but not that cheap--but talk of the Bulls can quickly turn to uncomfortable conversations about conspiracies and certain paler races. Friendly folks, though. Also Vice Lord territory, so don't show the One and don't be shy to break forks.
The Exit, a former biker bar north of Ranch Triangle on North Avenue, has a reputation as a "dangerous" place, perhaps because of its biker heritage. For some real danger, you can come with me down the Green Line to La Keeler Lounge at 4200 or so West Lake, in the neighborhood Twista called home: K-Town. But wear a UI jersey -- the U and I represent a fork going up, which the New Breed-Triple L sets would appreciate; or an SF Giants jersey--for Super Folk Gangsters. La Keeler is hit-or-miss; it can be crowded or sparse, and the prices seem to vary. I've only been a few times, always with someone from a nearby neighborhood, and I always had fun. As far as dives go, not a bad choice, if you're willing to throw forks when dared. On the way there, anyway.
Of course, these are just a few examples. In any given inland neighborhood, you can find places with an Old Style sign and "Piwo" or "Cerveza" scrawled beneath it. That is, of course, if you're looking for a dive bar. If you're looking for cachet, Phyllis', Gold Star, Club Foot, and/or Black Beetle serves you fine, anyway.
OTHER DIVE (or near dive) JOINTS I'D RECOMMEND:
• Richard's (Grand and Halsted, across from Funky Buddha)
• Al's Tap (8657 S. Commercial --South Shore)
• Papa's (3506 W. Montrose)
• Clinchers (uh...somewhere in Pilsen)
• Flo's (5436 W. Montrose)
• Regency (5600 W. Belmont)
• Uncle Remus/T&T Lounge (Lake and Halsted, SW Corner)
• Ethyl's Party (2600 S. Wentworth)
• Water Hole (1400 S. Western)
• Bob Inn (Near Fullerton and Western)
• Anywhere in Stone Park, especially the flesh joints.
Alejandra / July 18, 2003 8:07 AM
And don't forget Helen's 2 Way Lounge, on Milwaukee off of Fullerton, near that shady looking "Royal Restaurant/Banquet Hall."
It's been family owned for over 20 years.