Drink Wed Jul 01 2009

40s at the Fifty/50

Many people celebrate Independence Day with cold beers and fireworks... The Fifty/50, for reasons known only to itself and its PR team, has decided to up the ante by celebrating the entire week leading up to Independence Day with that most storied American beer-product (beloved by NASCAR enthusiasts and hipsters alike!), the 40 ounce malt liquor. I strolled over for a sip of Colt45 earlier this week, served appropriately in a brown paper bag. I find Colt to be one of the better malt liquors out there, certainly putting King Cobra to shame, and $5 a bottle just seemed too good to pass up. But 40 ounces of just about anything gets difficult to drink down to the last dregs... And through, hrmm, experimentation conducted with the utmost scientific rigor, I can categorically tell you that two 40s is too many. (On a Monday night at any rate.)

If you'd like to try your hand at the Fifty/50's week o' 40s -- no frat-party inspired duct tape required -- the party continues with hip hop, Cubs viewing (it is the Fifty/50, after all), an Olde English all-day party on the 4th, followed by a Schlitz hangover brunch on the 5th. I would advise steering clear of the Cheesy Cheese Balls on the menu -- never has a bar food been so structurally off-base, falling apart into clumpy half-melted strings as soon as you pick it up. People who have had a 40 and a half cannot gracefully contend with that kind of mess. But there's plenty of other good-looking grease on the menu to keep you properly fortified against all that barley. Oh beautiful, for spacious skies, let's hear it for those amber waves of grain.

— Andie Thomalla / Comments (0)