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Review Wed Nov 20 2013
Gluten-Free's Good, I Guess
It's no secret that I'm intolerant to the gluten-free lifestyle, but after being challenged to explore its positive aspects, I begrudgingly accepted the challenge. After all, I'm a socially conscious individual, and November is Gluten-Free Diet Awareness Month (in addition to being National American Indian & Alaska Native Heritage Month). Although celiac disease afflicts only 1% of the American population, most follow the diet because denying thyself of pasta seems totally and utterly reasonable. In any case, gluten-free dining has become a major trend, with low- and high-end restaurants offering some form of a special menu.
So during a weekend in downtown Chicago, my gluten-avoiding companion suggested dinner at Siena Tavern. I'm generally wary of celebrity-endorsed, media-hyped restaurants, but if I was going to eat gluten-free, why the hell not? So there I was, ordering Waygu beef tartare, smoked mozzarella, and grilled octopus for appetizers. For the entrées, I painfully bypassed the gnocchi and pizza, instead ordering pork chops (with caramelized Brussels sprouts and whipped potato) and a roasted rack of lamb (with chiodini mushrooms, swiss chard, and pomegranate agro dolce).
As much as I wanted to hate my food, I just couldn't. Despite the restaurant's big name, the dishes tasted spectacular. The grilled octopus was perfectly textured, with just enough spring to create a satisfying chew. The roasted rack of lamb, drizzled with pomegranate agro dolce, was a seamless synthesis of sour, sweet, and savory. In fact, I dragged everything through that sauce, including my plump pork chops.
Although I wouldn't describe the gluten-free lifestyle as healthy (as butter and meats are still allowed), it's not soul-crushingly terrible. For instance, the kimchi mussels and smoked Kobe beef brisket dip we ordered earlier at Public House was a delicious way to begin a shopping marathon. And of course, there are also hippy places like Native Foods Café and The Chicago Diner, which offer a comprehensive spectrum of "healthy" foods, including gluten-free and vegan items.
But on principle, I still refuse to adopt a gluten-free diet. I will always eat my weight in cookies and onion rings. But if I have to eat gluten free, I will hold my tongue and chew -- as long as there are tasty meats involved.
