Gapers Block has ceased publication.

Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
 Thank you for your readership and contributions. 


Monday, February 26

Gapers Block

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sten / March 1, 2007 4:29 PM

and so our hero treks bravely off into the sunset, dragging a line of toilet paper from his heel.

sten / March 1, 2007 4:30 PM

and so our hero treks bravely off into the sunset, dragging a line of toilet paper from his heel.

sten / March 1, 2007 4:31 PM


frickin double post...

s / March 1, 2007 4:34 PM


monty / March 1, 2007 5:04 PM

...and your father stinks of elderberries!

Justin / March 1, 2007 5:19 PM


Justin / March 1, 2007 5:21 PM


kleinstadt / March 1, 2007 5:24 PM

. . .can I help you?

jaye / March 1, 2007 5:31 PM


Emerson Dameron / March 1, 2007 5:37 PM

Don't you see? 23, man. TWENTY-THREE!

Emerson Dameron / March 1, 2007 5:39 PM

Don't you see? 23, man. TWENTY-THREE!

Emerson Dameron / March 1, 2007 5:39 PM


ken / March 1, 2007 5:44 PM

If. - If.


kate / March 1, 2007 5:45 PM

And the new fella didn't work out.

And I can't wait for my tax refund.

And the windows are open - if only for the next 20 minutes.

ken / March 1, 2007 5:53 PM

And I may have found my new job on the GB Job Board!

(fingers crossed)

Dunl / March 1, 2007 6:31 PM

And ... no.

Mindy / March 1, 2007 6:31 PM

why not?

p / March 1, 2007 6:37 PM

and? and yo. yoyo. onetime. ay yo. here we go. yo. gapers block cypher yo. ay yo. and i'm saying g-block is an internet giant, andrew and his staff buy their wallets at lane bryant. yoyo. and my work tie smells like guinness stout, in the fuel comments section p rivals daley for clout. OOOOOOOOOOhhhhh!!
and i'm ehyout.

job board? please to explain.

kelly / March 1, 2007 8:42 PM

......and apparently inviting someone over to watch the Oscars IS a good date, regardless of the negative posts on this site.
Who am I kidding. We totally just made out.

Baldeesh / March 1, 2007 9:38 PM

And how in the hell is my house trashed? I was sick for 2 days and did a whole lot of sleeping.

It looks like someone threw a party in here.

Baldeesh / March 1, 2007 9:43 PM

And how in the hell is my house trashed? I was sick for 2 days and did a whole lot of sleeping.

It looks like someone threw a party in here.

con temps / March 1, 2007 10:06 PM


con temps / March 1, 2007 10:15 PM


Bret Easton Ellis / March 1, 2007 11:08 PM

and it's a story that might bore you but you don't have to listen, she told me, because she always knew it was going to be like that...

Andrew / March 1, 2007 11:17 PM

FYI, we're having some database issues (if you couldn't guess), hence the duplicate (or octuplicate) posts. We've been assured by our hosts that it will be straightened out in the next couple days. Bare with us.

Ben / March 1, 2007 11:51 PM

...some General Tzo's Chicken

maardvark / March 2, 2007 12:26 AM

Androcles and the Androgynous Andiron! (who trekked from Andover to the Andes, via Andersonville of course) / March 2, 2007 9:10 AM


another fine episode of british elevator help.

carrie / March 2, 2007 9:38 AM

and I hate the CTA (surprise). Add 10 minutes to my commute, how about frickin' 25 or 30, that's the real story.

AND! I go to Italy in less than a week and that gets me all wild excited.

And I'm real hungry and want a bagel. YUM

Shylo / March 2, 2007 9:46 AM

And the air felt magnetic.

KJ / March 2, 2007 10:05 AM

And...we're back!

Shermann / March 2, 2007 10:09 AM

.....that was your Friday.

Spook / March 2, 2007 10:13 AM

Walking tour of Logan Square bars on Sunday, with Monday off because of a “holiday” dedicated to some polish General, named Pulaski.
And of course today is Friday, which is "date night"

I believe that for some of the more mainstream respondents on this venue, the word is, I’m "stoked!"

skafiend / March 2, 2007 10:37 AM

...and, long story short, she left with that other guy....

lara / March 2, 2007 10:42 AM

there were rumors, he was into field hockey players, and there were rumors...they just was so hush-hush. they were so quiet about it.

and then the next thing you know...

jennifer h. / March 2, 2007 10:46 AM

And I am telling you
I'm not going.
You're the best man I'll ever know.
There's no way I can ever, ever go,
No, no, no, no way,
No, no, no, no way I'm livin' without you.
Oh, I'm not livin' without you,
I'm not livin' without you.
I don't wanna be free.
I'm stayin',
I'm stayin',
And you, and you,
You're gonna love me.
Oh, hey, you're gonna love me,
Yes, ah, ooh, ooh, love me,
Ooh, ooh, ooh, love me,
Love me,
Love me,
Love me,
Love me.
You're gonna love me.

padraic / March 2, 2007 10:53 AM

"And so it was that a young Briton named Patricius died an Irishman named Patrick, and neither Ireland nor Christianity was ever quite the same. By the time of his death, or shortly thereafter, the Irish stopped slave trading and never took it up again. Human sacrifice had become unthinkable. His countrymen never stopped making war on one another, but war became much more confined and limited by what we now call the rules of warfare. In the modern classic How the Irish Saved Civilization, it is said that Patrick's conversion of Ireland made possible the preservation of Western thought through the early Dark Ages by means of the monasteries founded by Patrick's successors."

Greg / March 2, 2007 10:58 AM



p / March 2, 2007 11:01 AM

and i just realized that i have no clue as to the process of dry-cleaning and how it is different from regular 'ol washing machines. i just hand the stuff over balled up (in a basket which i leave there accidently 40% of the time)and it is returned crisp and fresh. i haven't a clue how they do it or what methods are applied. i guess i just assumed those big conveyor machines escorted my suits through some sort of secret underworld like in Big Trouble In Little China where dragons breath downy freshness onto them or something. anyone have another explanation?

The Viking / March 2, 2007 11:18 AM

...then I got laid.

jennifer h. / March 2, 2007 11:22 AM

and then there was another jennifer h.

avantchicago / March 2, 2007 11:27 AM

And...Yet It Moves

skafiend / March 2, 2007 11:32 AM

....and he STILL managed to get elected mayor. Go figure.

k. / March 2, 2007 11:40 AM

... and i CANNOT get over how these women got conned by that matt goldstein/hillard jay quint dude. did anyone actually look at the photo of him in a fighter jet???

the guy needs to get a better photo artist.

paul / March 2, 2007 11:49 AM

And then there's Maude.

bartleby / March 2, 2007 12:06 PM

and when can I stop walking faster than the blue line train moves?

Angie / March 2, 2007 12:19 PM

and everyone in the faraway city of Chicago lived happily ever after.

G.P. / March 2, 2007 1:31 PM

And I'm glad I'm not single and in my 20s...and you can spot non-native Chicagoans because they always complain about the weather and/or public transportation...and now liberals repulse me as much as conservatives...

graham / March 2, 2007 3:10 PM

And we should do this more often.

No, I really mean it.

amyc / March 2, 2007 3:17 PM

...there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident.

Meems / March 2, 2007 3:50 PM

...the weather is great but I miss Chicago!

best 10 seconds / March 2, 2007 4:02 PM

why did I decide to scat? American's do not care for jazz

Anon. / March 2, 2007 4:20 PM

and when will people who constantly complain about the blue line discover that the city also has busses, one of which even runs directly above the blue line, in a near-same route? and when they discover the wonder of the bus, will they ever shut up about the blue line? yes, we all know it sucks. find an alternate route, use a bus, ride a bike, or car pool. just shut the shit up about it. complaining to the internet doesn't make blue lines run faster.

fluffy / March 2, 2007 4:22 PM

and then he flipped me upside down. at first I was scared and my heart skipped, but I found myself smiling and liking it....

carrie / March 2, 2007 4:30 PM

And when will anon realize that taking a bus takes even longer than the blue line? I'm mostly upset b/c dumb cta was telling everyone that the red and brown lines would be slow, but failed to leave out the blue line. Or red and brown seemed to be their focus anyway.

And that guy that got the tattoo spelled wrong on his chest (chest being the key word)- how did he suffer public humiliation? Was he walking around without his shirt on? It's kind of funny to me.

Spook / March 2, 2007 4:37 PM

and what kind of moron wants "Chi Town" inked onto his chest? People who say it are bad enough. Maybe the tattoo artist did it just to make fun of him

chitty-chitty bling-bling / March 2, 2007 4:41 PM

And that was the year that I took ecstacy for the first time. And for the second time, and for the third and the fourth and the fifth and the sixth and the seventh and the eigth and the ninth and the tenth and the eleventh and the twelft and the thirteenth and the fourteenth and...

Graham / March 2, 2007 4:49 PM

I've seen far dumber tattoos than "Chitown." (sic?) The sort that I imagine their bearers would live to regret some day soon.

I had a big tattoo of Captain Crunch put on my chest when I was six years old. Now I'm kind of embarrassed about it, but I thought it waaayyy badass at the time.

And that's the trick, to get it put somewhere that can easily be covered up. In this instance, maybe dude should get some hair growth drug or ointment and sprout a rug to cover it up. It may be less expensive and less painful than having the thing removed. Or the legal fees.

carrie / March 2, 2007 4:52 PM

yeah I think people were maybe just laughing at what an idiot he was wanting "chi-town" tattooed. I'm sorry, it just makes me laugh a lot. It also reminds me of how happy I am that I didn't go to the back of that van when I was 16 and have Winnie the Pooh tattooed on my ankle.

Chi-townily yours,
I will stop posting now

fluffy / March 2, 2007 4:56 PM

..and you all should check out the show and silent auction at polvo tonight. it's in pilsen. 18th street blue line- el stop; walk east on 18th - it's at the corner with Laflin. the main door is on Laflin.

annabelle / March 2, 2007 5:01 PM

. . . .and then i found five dollars. . .

mike love & the diz / March 2, 2007 6:02 PM

and is to-DAY your birthday??

and how old are you on this day??

Alex / March 2, 2007 8:40 PM

And all I could do was say "Hello."

mary / March 3, 2007 8:15 AM

And those were the times in quietest days
We’ll sit and smile and remember
Nothing could feel the same
We were so free we were in each passing second

Steve / March 3, 2007 1:17 PM

...she dresses you funny?

...a bag of chips?

...then I got high?

Just Plain Tired / March 3, 2007 3:58 PM

For all of you 18 to 39-year olds...take GOOD care of yourselves, 'cause one day you WILL wake up and be 40. And if you haven't taken care of things, well let's just say that everything heads
Exercise, eat right, take care of yourself and have fun, but not too much of that kind of fun that drags you down.
*sigh* Wouldn't want to be 18 again, been there done that, but I would take the advice of those that have been down that road ahead of me, more to heart.
Is it summer yet?

Annie / March 4, 2007 12:21 AM

And we got back Saturday night. And we decided that 48hours is our limit for Vegas. And I really want a salad & some skim milk, and fruit & a vitamin.

Carlotta / March 4, 2007 1:43 AM

And I'm tired of finding myself at the gym on Saturday nights/early Sunday mornings.

nayru / March 4, 2007 6:05 AM

... so I continued down the path I'd chosen. Ardently hoping regrets would fade as time went by.

But how I miss you, monster...

jonk / March 4, 2007 12:15 PM

she was

Jaye / March 4, 2007 1:32 PM

enough already.

west / March 4, 2007 2:34 PM

"and so we beat on.
boats against the current
born back ceaslessly into the past."

Graham / March 5, 2007 12:23 PM


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