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Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
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Saturday, April 20

Gapers Block

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Andrew / April 7, 2006 11:49 AM

Suggested by Fluffy/Y A J.

I used to keep a list. My favorite, Caution Children, was apparently taken for a little while. So my new one is The Touch Monkeys.

g8 / April 7, 2006 12:08 PM

Sweatpant cock bulge.

kate / April 7, 2006 12:11 PM

kate & the fuck yeahs

Y A J / April 7, 2006 12:14 PM

Back in law school some friends and I dreamt up our imaginary band: Rovey Wade.

matty / April 7, 2006 12:19 PM

I have a great suggestion for the next topic:

"If you could be one color, what kind of color would you be?"

Clodius / April 7, 2006 12:20 PM

Two unused favs: Shop Teacher and Theisman Leg Snap

benny / April 7, 2006 12:21 PM

After witnessing Tha 446 rock the Subterranean to its foundations last night, I'm convinced number names are the way to go. So, let's say... 9999? Perhaps "The Vicious 9999"

Steve / April 7, 2006 12:27 PM

Taste E. Lix and the Tortured Teens
Bugs Meany and the Tigers

RevDave / April 7, 2006 12:36 PM

The Sun's Harmful Rays

MikeH / April 7, 2006 1:06 PM

Thou sorrow, venom Elfe:
Is this thy play,
To spin a web out of thyselfe
To Catch a Fly?
For Why?

Since I first read the poem, Upon A Spider Catching A Fly, back in high school, venom Elfe has been my preferred band name...

allie / April 7, 2006 1:09 PM

frenchy & the oui ouis

Erica / April 7, 2006 1:13 PM

Lake Effect is a great name for a Chicago band, until it's Googled, and then ... damn, a few people liked it, too.

Lake Effect "is the exquisite smooth jazz band co-created by Neil Artwick and Bob Davis."

The Lake Effect ... "just plays whatever comes out of our instruments and if we like it then we keep it, we don''t really try."

K. / April 7, 2006 1:28 PM

Hoochies March

I just came up with it this morning. I don't even know what it means.

Ray / April 7, 2006 1:30 PM

"Pink Freud"

And I have always had a weakness for:

"Pan Fried Squid"

Miranda / April 7, 2006 1:34 PM

The Control Tops

Cinnamon / April 7, 2006 1:35 PM

Mary Queen of Ska

Cause ska will come back in style. I still won't be able to play music or sing when it happens, but I've got the band name all ready.

megan / April 7, 2006 1:38 PM

Wes Nile and the Mosquito Bites

megan / April 7, 2006 1:39 PM

Candy and the Belly Aches

Andrew / April 7, 2006 1:46 PM

Matty: Lighten up. Have fun. Don't be such a sourpuss.

Or, suggest an actual Fuel question. (No, we won't do "what color would you be?")

Ronnie / April 7, 2006 1:47 PM

My cousins used to tease me when I was little cause I would just giggle nonstop at their jokes.

So, they said they were going to create a band called "Ronnie Laughs A Lot". You know, incorporate some laughing sequences with the beats. Hee hee!!

pat / April 7, 2006 1:47 PM

if i could do a duet with Miss Shasta, I think we'd have to be called:

All Appropriate Monies.

luke / April 7, 2006 1:48 PM

-Parade of Sinners
-Horse Morsel

megan / April 7, 2006 1:59 PM

yes, lighten up! This is really a fun one!
I love Ronnie Laughs A Lot-it is making ME laugh a lot!

Spook / April 7, 2006 2:02 PM

Spooks by the Door

NSH / April 7, 2006 2:05 PM

Minneapolis Genius

Bill / April 7, 2006 2:16 PM

i think id have to name my band WolfWolfWolfWolfWolfWolfWolfWolfWolfWolfWolfWolfWolfWolfWolfWolfWolfWolfWolfWolfWolfWolfWolfWolf Wolves

Jason / April 7, 2006 2:23 PM

I'd call my band, Outrageous Gems.

They would be truly outrageous.

betty / April 7, 2006 2:25 PM

My all-girl band will be named The Holies. The name of our greatest hits album? "The Holiest of Holies", natch.

fluffy / April 7, 2006 2:59 PM

my band's name would be 'who moved my meat?'

i'm constantly thinking of band names, so i could come up with a lot of these. and yes, they're all stupid.

I was in a band when I was a kid, for about 5 years with my brother and sisters. We were called Chief and the Mushrooms. We rocked! Our beagle's name was Chief. We were the mushrooms, and no, we didn't know about 'shrooming. We were just weird. And we never played anywhere public.

matty: i would be the color of invisible ink, so no one could see me! wooo!

HAU / April 7, 2006 3:16 PM

My ex is always touting "Hell Toupé"

Incndnz / April 7, 2006 3:29 PM

All girl punk band: Clarice

or, if you're into more of a co-ed thing,

Mr. Smith and the Crybabies.

printdude / April 7, 2006 3:41 PM

In my world, ska never went out of style. It occupies 45% of my iPod.

Two band names of mine:
Your in Analysis - our first album - split pea soup.

Future Ex-wives - I've got mine (...and yours)

rc / April 7, 2006 3:43 PM

weasel mucus

mike / April 7, 2006 3:44 PM

The Beatles

or if that's taken, The Kinbotes

Jaye / April 7, 2006 3:53 PM


hench / April 7, 2006 4:01 PM


matty / April 7, 2006 4:16 PM


inbox! my channel waking!


Erika / April 7, 2006 4:18 PM

Call me a science nerd, but in grad school, I wanted to start a band called "Syncytia". It means: "a multinucleated mass of cytoplasm that is not separated into individual cells." It's my favorite word.

joshua / April 7, 2006 4:31 PM


I loved He-Man growing up.

Brandy / April 7, 2006 5:20 PM

allie - LUV it!

For a moment I was in a band with the best name ever: Love Stains.

My band? Think bad art school band playing geeky instruments and taking ourselves far too seriously - Kunstdunger.

It's my favorite German word. It means artificial manure, but is literally Art-Shit.

ErikL / April 7, 2006 5:41 PM

When I was younger, friends and I had a show at the local college radio station where, to amuse (probably only) ourselves we were constantly announcing fake upcoming punk rock shows with fake bands on the fake bill.
Racist Pig Bladder
An Owl
Sopic Barm
The Gramma and Grampa Band
The Penises

There were more. The stupider, the better. We thought we were pretty cute.

winediva / April 7, 2006 6:01 PM

I have several favorites:

Oeddie and the MoFos
Felonious Monk
Champagne Tart
The New Jersey Water Reclaimation District

Emerson Dameron / April 7, 2006 6:01 PM

I've been a member of dozens of bands, a few of which briefly transcended the idea stage. They include Splash Conception, American Igloo, Big On Taste, Love Your Disease, Grand Tour, The Brothers Cain and many more.

How about all my favorite fake records of 2005?

(Only funny if you've read Arthur, and possibly not then, either.)

printdude / April 7, 2006 7:42 PM


corydalus / April 7, 2006 8:16 PM

"Fungal Lung Infection"

christian / April 7, 2006 9:20 PM

six bands, six albums

L C Smith and the Super-Speed
my type is fast

The Ultimate Monks
In Belgium No One Can Hear You Screem

be quiet

Corporate Rock Sell-Out!

Cowboy Monkeys on the Moon (in tribute to Placenta Margarita)
Moon Girls Are Green And Have Shiny Metal Bikinis!

The Easy Buttons
untitled-that was easy

bvcb / April 8, 2006 12:59 AM



unmake / April 8, 2006 4:06 AM

Los Santeria Napkins
The Windows Media Players

Kevin / April 8, 2006 11:48 AM

The ones I like are already taken:

Urethra Franklin
Kathleen Turner Overdrive

griffin / April 8, 2006 12:13 PM

Dickhead Rob and The Cocks.

Ginko Biloba and The Memory.

Michael / April 8, 2006 12:56 PM

Haulin' Oats.

lara / April 8, 2006 1:24 PM

pearls before swine

Amy / April 8, 2006 2:38 PM

The Clarkie Darlings

printdude / April 8, 2006 3:37 PM

Ineffectual - Does nothing for me

Da Mare and Dem Alderman - Our Way or the Highway!

Opp & Hymer - Bang
Opp & Hymer - Big Bang
Opp & Hymer - KaBoom

Vanessa / April 8, 2006 4:53 PM

Killing Nancy
Knitting Llamas

Ted / April 8, 2006 7:33 PM

John Q. Public, or Four out of Five Dentists, if we had that many members.

Flips / April 8, 2006 9:56 PM

I knew someone that was in a local band here called '4 out of 5 Dentists,' actually.

The Flailing Limbs

Arms Akimbo

"Flailing" and "akimbo" are just not used enough in daily conversation.

scott / April 8, 2006 10:59 PM




Clarke / April 9, 2006 12:56 PM

Quickly, the best damn band name I ever saw..."Rumpleforeskin".

Hymen Opera
Red Line Series
The Daleys
Ouija's Truth
Umbilical Longing
Have That Removed
Barney Fife's Bullet (with the tagline, "The one and only.")
Here They Are
In The Wet Spot

Naz / April 9, 2006 10:46 PM


Leah W / April 10, 2006 10:45 PM

The Hymen Lasers.

Yeah, there's a story behind that.

slb / April 11, 2006 4:06 PM

winediva! i was briefly *in* a band called Cunk.

yeah, it was the best name ever. we practiced for about 2 weeks and 'broke up.'

Sam / April 13, 2006 2:18 PM

Don't know about band names, but I've always wanted to run a record label called Vinyl Meningitis.

Sid / April 17, 2006 3:00 PM

Roman Bonaire & The Young Bohemians

Danny / April 17, 2006 3:03 PM

Bushy Cushion

Nakita / April 18, 2006 5:06 PM

I would call my band the badamions!

ChrisB / April 20, 2006 9:06 PM

.12 gauge

becky / November 14, 2006 6:45 PM

we where thinking gold sparkles,hotlips, hot lolliepop and jinkses these are talking u bitch dont jack my ting

Aiden / January 11, 2007 12:50 PM

what do you guys think of the name forever the kinkest kid.

AIDEN / January 11, 2007 12:55 PM


Leanne / January 13, 2007 12:58 PM

Boom Chuck
Black Sky
Smash n'Boom
Blue Traffic
SixSix(if ure six)
Punk Converse
Funky Fucks
Hungry Notebook
Bright Lips

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