Gapers Block has ceased publication.
Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
✶ Thank you for your readership and contributions. ✶
TODAY
Friday, March 31
Fuel
g8 / April 7, 2006 12:08 PM
Sweatpant cock bulge.
kate / April 7, 2006 12:11 PM
kate & the fuck yeahs
Y A J / April 7, 2006 12:14 PM
Back in law school some friends and I dreamt up our imaginary band: Rovey Wade.
matty / April 7, 2006 12:19 PM
I have a great suggestion for the next topic:
"If you could be one color, what kind of color would you be?"
Clodius / April 7, 2006 12:20 PM
Two unused favs: Shop Teacher and Theisman Leg Snap
benny / April 7, 2006 12:21 PM
After witnessing Tha 446 rock the Subterranean to its foundations last night, I'm convinced number names are the way to go. So, let's say... 9999? Perhaps "The Vicious 9999"
Steve / April 7, 2006 12:27 PM
Taste E. Lix and the Tortured Teens
Bugs Meany and the Tigers
RevDave / April 7, 2006 12:36 PM
The Sun's Harmful Rays
MikeH / April 7, 2006 1:06 PM
Thou sorrow, venom Elfe:
Is this thy play,
To spin a web out of thyselfe
To Catch a Fly?
For Why?
Since I first read the poem, Upon A Spider Catching A Fly, back in high school, venom Elfe has been my preferred band name...
allie / April 7, 2006 1:09 PM
frenchy & the oui ouis
Erica / April 7, 2006 1:13 PM
Lake Effect is a great name for a Chicago band, until it's Googled, and then ... damn, a few people liked it, too.
Lake Effect "is the exquisite smooth jazz band co-created by Neil Artwick and Bob Davis."
The Lake Effect ... "just plays whatever comes out of our instruments and if we like it then we keep it, we don''t really try."
K. / April 7, 2006 1:28 PM
Hoochies March
I just came up with it this morning. I don't even know what it means.
Miranda / April 7, 2006 1:34 PM
The Control Tops
Cinnamon / April 7, 2006 1:35 PM
Mary Queen of Ska
Cause ska will come back in style. I still won't be able to play music or sing when it happens, but I've got the band name all ready.
megan / April 7, 2006 1:38 PM
Wes Nile and the Mosquito Bites
megan / April 7, 2006 1:39 PM
Candy and the Belly Aches
Andrew / April 7, 2006 1:46 PM
Matty: Lighten up. Have fun. Don't be such a sourpuss.
Or, suggest an actual Fuel question. (No, we won't do "what color would you be?")
Ronnie / April 7, 2006 1:47 PM
My cousins used to tease me when I was little cause I would just giggle nonstop at their jokes.
So, they said they were going to create a band called "Ronnie Laughs A Lot". You know, incorporate some laughing sequences with the beats. Hee hee!!
pat / April 7, 2006 1:47 PM
if i could do a duet with Miss Shasta, I think we'd have to be called:
All Appropriate Monies.
luke / April 7, 2006 1:48 PM
-Parade of Sinners
-Horse Morsel
megan / April 7, 2006 1:59 PM
yes, lighten up! This is really a fun one!
I love Ronnie Laughs A Lot-it is making ME laugh a lot!
Spook / April 7, 2006 2:02 PM
Spooks by the Door
NSH / April 7, 2006 2:05 PM
Minneapolis Genius
Bill / April 7, 2006 2:16 PM
i think id have to name my band WolfWolfWolfWolfWolfWolfWolfWolfWolfWolfWolfWolfWolfWolfWolfWolfWolfWolfWolfWolfWolfWolfWolfWolf Wolves
betty / April 7, 2006 2:25 PM
My all-girl band will be named The Holies. The name of our greatest hits album? "The Holiest of Holies", natch.
fluffy / April 7, 2006 2:59 PM
my band's name would be 'who moved my meat?'
i'm constantly thinking of band names, so i could come up with a lot of these. and yes, they're all stupid.
I was in a band when I was a kid, for about 5 years with my brother and sisters. We were called Chief and the Mushrooms. We rocked! Our beagle's name was Chief. We were the mushrooms, and no, we didn't know about 'shrooming. We were just weird. And we never played anywhere public.
matty: i would be the color of invisible ink, so no one could see me! wooo!
HAU / April 7, 2006 3:16 PM
My ex is always touting "Hell Toupé"
Incndnz / April 7, 2006 3:29 PM
All girl punk band: Clarice
or, if you're into more of a co-ed thing,
Mr. Smith and the Crybabies.
printdude / April 7, 2006 3:41 PM
Cinnamon,
In my world, ska never went out of style. It occupies 45% of my iPod.
Two band names of mine:
Your in Analysis - our first album - split pea soup.
Future Ex-wives - I've got mine (...and yours)
rc / April 7, 2006 3:43 PM
weasel mucus
Jaye / April 7, 2006 3:53 PM
wicked.
hench / April 7, 2006 4:01 PM
tärd
Erika / April 7, 2006 4:18 PM
Call me a science nerd, but in grad school, I wanted to start a band called "Syncytia". It means: "a multinucleated mass of cytoplasm that is not separated into individual cells." It's my favorite word.
Brandy / April 7, 2006 5:20 PM
allie - LUV it!
____
For a moment I was in a band with the best name ever: Love Stains.
____
My band? Think bad art school band playing geeky instruments and taking ourselves far too seriously - Kunstdunger.
It's my favorite German word. It means artificial manure, but is literally Art-Shit.
ErikL / April 7, 2006 5:41 PM
When I was younger, friends and I had a show at the local college radio station where, to amuse (probably only) ourselves we were constantly announcing fake upcoming punk rock shows with fake bands on the fake bill.
Racist Pig Bladder
An Owl
Sopic Barm
The Gramma and Grampa Band
The Penises
There were more. The stupider, the better. We thought we were pretty cute.
winediva / April 7, 2006 6:01 PM
I have several favorites:
Oeddie and the MoFos
Felonious Monk
Champagne Tart
The New Jersey Water Reclaimation District
Strumpet
Cunk
Emerson Dameron / April 7, 2006 6:01 PM
I've been a member of dozens of bands, a few of which briefly transcended the idea stage. They include Splash Conception, American Igloo, Big On Taste, Love Your Disease, Grand Tour, The Brothers Cain and many more.
How about all my favorite fake records of 2005?
http://www.dustedmagazine.com/features/449
(Only funny if you've read Arthur, and possibly not then, either.)
printdude / April 7, 2006 7:42 PM
Turnbuckle!
corydalus / April 7, 2006 8:16 PM
"Fungal Lung Infection"
christian / April 7, 2006 9:20 PM
six bands, six albums
L C Smith and the Super-Speed
my type is fast
The Ultimate Monks
In Belgium No One Can Hear You Screem
clack-Clack-click
be quiet
Corporate Rock Sell-Out!
Geriatric
Cowboy Monkeys on the Moon (in tribute to Placenta Margarita)
Moon Girls Are Green And Have Shiny Metal Bikinis!
The Easy Buttons
untitled-that was easy
unmake / April 8, 2006 4:06 AM
Los Santeria Napkins
or
The Windows Media Players
Kevin / April 8, 2006 11:48 AM
The ones I like are already taken:
Urethra Franklin
Kathleen Turner Overdrive
Michael / April 8, 2006 12:56 PM
Haulin' Oats.
lara / April 8, 2006 1:24 PM
pearls before swine
Amy / April 8, 2006 2:38 PM
The Clarkie Darlings
printdude / April 8, 2006 3:37 PM
Ineffectual - Does nothing for me
Da Mare and Dem Alderman - Our Way or the Highway!
Opp & Hymer - Bang
Opp & Hymer - Big Bang
Opp & Hymer - KaBoom
Vanessa / April 8, 2006 4:53 PM
Killing Nancy
Knitting Llamas
Ted / April 8, 2006 7:33 PM
John Q. Public, or Four out of Five Dentists, if we had that many members.
Flips / April 8, 2006 9:56 PM
I knew someone that was in a local band here called '4 out of 5 Dentists,' actually.
The Flailing Limbs
Arms Akimbo
"Flailing" and "akimbo" are just not used enough in daily conversation.
Clarke / April 9, 2006 12:56 PM
Quickly, the best damn band name I ever saw..."Rumpleforeskin".
Hymen Opera
Red Line Series
The Daleys
Ouija's Truth
Umbilical Longing
Have That Removed
Barney Fife's Bullet (with the tagline, "The one and only.")
Here They Are
In The Wet Spot
Naz / April 9, 2006 10:46 PM
Jerkazoidical.
slb / April 11, 2006 4:06 PM
winediva! i was briefly *in* a band called Cunk.
yeah, it was the best name ever. we practiced for about 2 weeks and 'broke up.'
Sam / April 13, 2006 2:18 PM
Don't know about band names, but I've always wanted to run a record label called Vinyl Meningitis.
Sid / April 17, 2006 3:00 PM
Roman Bonaire & The Young Bohemians
Danny / April 17, 2006 3:03 PM
Bushy Cushion
Nakita / April 18, 2006 5:06 PM
I would call my band the badamions!
ChrisB / April 20, 2006 9:06 PM
.12 gauge
becky / November 14, 2006 6:45 PM
we where thinking gold sparkles,hotlips, hot lolliepop and jinkses these are talking u bitch dont jack my ting
Aiden / January 11, 2007 12:50 PM
what do you guys think of the name forever the kinkest kid.
AIDEN / January 11, 2007 12:55 PM
I ALREADY THE GOVERNMENT SIGNITURE FOR MY NAME FOREVER THE KINKEST KID. BT I REALLY WANT TO CHANGE MY MIND. IT'S IM IN A ROCK BAND, BABY
Leanne / January 13, 2007 12:58 PM
Boom Chuck
Black Sky
Smash n'Boom
Blue Traffic
SixSix(if ure six)
SexSis
Candiiiz
Punk Converse
Kittycats
KIDZ
Funky Fucks
Hungry Notebook
Bright Lips
SlimySix
Lipz
Pinkies
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Andrew / April 7, 2006 11:49 AM
Suggested by Fluffy/Y A J.
I used to keep a list. My favorite, Caution Children, was apparently taken for a little while. So my new one is The Touch Monkeys.