Gapers Block has ceased publication.

Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
 Thank you for your readership and contributions. 


Saturday, May 18

Gapers Block

Gapers Block on Facebook Gapers Block on Flickr Gapers Block on Twitter The Gapers Block Tumblr


sky / June 23, 2005 12:14 PM

Beat it? I embrace it! I'd rather have to wipe away some sweat than sniff in some ice ignore the sweat, I like to sit outside and drink copious amounts of cold cocktails. Margs especially make a reappearance into my life.

JT / June 23, 2005 12:21 PM

Eat large numbers of frozen ice pops. Get slushies. "Help" the kids play in a sprinkler. Take a LOT of showers. Lie on the sofa directly in front of the window AC and watch TV or read. Eat lots of fruit.

My husband, who is crazy/has much more tolerance for hot, humid weather, likes to take long trips on his inline skates.

Emerson Dameron / June 23, 2005 12:28 PM

You will need:
-A large Tupperware-type bowl
-A large fan
-A working freezer
-Running water

Fill bowl with water, preferably during the morning. Place in freezer. At bedtime, remove bowl. Water should be frozen. Place bowl behind fan (in area from which fan pulls its air). Aim fan at bed. As ice melts, heat will be... if not beat, then at least set back a few steps.

Paula / June 23, 2005 12:29 PM

I've always been a fan of second run movie theaters - I'll sit through just about any swill to get access to a couple of hours worth of air conditioning for a few dollars. Libraries are also good spots for totally free air conditioning.

JP / June 23, 2005 1:04 PM

I slack off around the office and get as little work done as possible so staying late is unavoidable. Once the last schmuck goes home I pop my latest NetFlix selection into my laptop, order thai and camp out on my office floor while sweet AC treated air blows up my skirt. Did I mention I am getting paid overtime for this. I head home when the Sun goes down and the trains are empty and cool. No AC at home but I am so tired by the time I get there that I don't care.
I pleasure myself with my new amazing vibe and pass out. Hey it works. I rareley break a sweat.

Kevin / June 23, 2005 1:12 PM

Sweet sweet beer.

kerry / June 23, 2005 1:19 PM

for the first time ever I have air conditioning at home. And, yeah, I mean ever. Save for one year after college I never had A/C in any place I called home. Last fall a friend moved into a condo with central air, however, and sold me her two window units for $60 each. Now I beat the heat in my nice, cold living room.

curtsy / June 23, 2005 1:57 PM

Three words -- frozen food porn. I enjoy cruising any all nite supermarket & pleasuring myself in the frozen food section. Frozen peas make me weak!

Erica / June 23, 2005 2:20 PM

I try to embrace it, too. When it gets intolerable, I just remind myself how much I bitched about the winter. Food always seems to make the summer exciting.

Some cool eats:
Slurpees at the local 7-11
YORK Peppermint Patties
Long Island Ice Tea
Lemonade & vodka
El Cid's frozen margaritas (2115 N Milwaukee Ave or 2645 N Kedzie Ave)
Caprese salad -- Easy to make: fresh mozz, tomatoes, fresh basil and olive oil -- perfect!
Chicken salad (Sopraffina makes a great CS)
Miko's Italian Ice (1846 N. Damen or Sacramento/Lyndale)
Ice cream from Margies Candies (1960 N Western Ave)

Love, Chicago magazine is pretty cool, too. The new issue hits stands this weekend --

girlgenius / June 23, 2005 3:06 PM

We had a friend who perfected the "urban swamp cooler" during that summer that everyone was dying in the city. Turn on the cold water in your shower and close the bathroom door. Let the water run for 30 to 45 minutes, then pass out on the cool, cool, tile.

Wasteful? Yes, but not any more so than the kids who open every freakin' hydrant in the city!

Naz / June 23, 2005 3:23 PM

It always takes me a week or two to acclimate. But I do. My body gets really cranky the first few days of really hot weather - it's the sweating that irks me the most, especially when I'm out riding.

But after those two weeks, I'm all good. I sit around in just soccer shorts, have the fan at a moderate speed and drink water - lots of it. I embrace it.

Of course, I did spend 10 years in a tropical climate so I may be a little more tolerable than others.

AD / June 23, 2005 3:24 PM

I wait very quietly in the bushes next to his front door. When he comes home and is fumbling with his keys, that is when I pounce! I start with a swift kick to his business. Once hunched over in agony I hit him with an uppercut, that will knock him firmly on his sweaty ass. I finish him off with a showgirl kick, snapping his head back like a broken popsicle stick. As he slumps to the ground I remind him about the time he ruined my summer, how kept me up nights in puddles of my own sweat, how he dehydrated me and killed my grass. I tell him to "Let up" if he knows what good for him but I know he's cant hear me now. So I just walk away knowing that this time I won.

jessica / June 23, 2005 5:04 PM

I sit on my back landing, drink a beer, and read a book ... and sometimes when I'm feeling extra geekish, play on my laptop (yay for wireless connections)

Alex / June 23, 2005 6:52 PM

Sit in my 72 degree air conditioned house! Sweat is for suckers and sweaty people.

Michelle / June 23, 2005 10:37 PM

Make homemade sorbet! I just found this recipe and I must share it. You don't even need an ice cream maker!

Take 1 quart of strawberries and clean them. Put them in a baggie or on a cookie sheet in your freezer for few hours. Then put them in your food processor, add a few tablespoons of sugar (3-6, to your taste) and pulse till they are broken up.

Brace yourself, this will be noisy.

Add 1/4 cup of water, and blend some more, until smooth but not too melted.

If you don't eat all of it immediately, put the rest in a bowl in the freezer.

I'm having my second bowl right now.

Brandy / June 23, 2005 11:56 PM

Heat makes me stoopid.......what was the question?

Paul / June 24, 2005 6:35 AM

Usually, air conditioning does just fine - and buckets of water. (But not too much, as I don't want to overdo it.) Shade helps, too.

paul / June 24, 2005 7:21 AM

I sweat.


flowfeel / June 24, 2005 9:23 AM

Drinks late into the night at an AC cranked joint then sleep until 1!

steven / June 24, 2005 10:56 AM

AC AC AC, all day every day. Though what's also nice about the heat is heading out for a ride along the lake. A full out sprint the whole way. It feels great getting filthy sweaty with all that heat and humidity. No way to prevent it, no way to stop it. Then I head home, feel that cool blast of air seep out when I crack open the door, and head straight for the shower. Ahhhhhhh, summer.

CVAL / June 24, 2005 10:58 AM

And you know this man!!!!!
(In response to Kevin's Beer enthusiasm)

staci / June 24, 2005 11:56 AM

When it's hot -- too hot for me to fall asleep -- I like to wet my hair down so my head is cool. Then I like to sleep with very few clothes on. That wasn't such a great idea when I had roommates, but now that I live alone, it's all good.

Cinnamon / June 24, 2005 12:24 PM

I think of all the times I was miserable in January and February.

Bring on the heat and humdity. My hair never looks this good in the winter.

Pete / June 24, 2005 12:37 PM

Go to work, and let my employer pay the a/c bill.

Angela / June 24, 2005 1:53 PM

Is it horrible that at first glance I thought the question was "what do you do to beat the meat?" ...I thought I stumbled on the wrong website or something...

As far as beating HEAT, I moved here from Florida... this heat is NOTHING.

spiraljetty / June 24, 2005 4:36 PM

I like the wet-towel-around-the-neck method. If you're outside, a slight breeze is all it takes to feel like you have an air conditioner blowing on your face. I guess it's not a very fashionable thing to do, since the only people I've seen use this method are older men who like to pair the towel with a dirty wifebeater with gray hair peeking out of the neckline.

I think the wet towel should be the new summer scarf. You can get some towels in pretty colors, tie them in fancy ways around your neck and you'll be staying cool with style!

Izzy / June 24, 2005 5:42 PM

frozen mango chunks from trader joes... mangoey goodness

sarah / June 24, 2005 6:52 PM

you can't "beat" this heat. i hide. i am inside as much as possible. today, i had to go out so i wore my hat and took a large bottle of water as if i were crossing the desert (but i was going two blocks down milwaukee).

Eric / June 25, 2005 2:53 AM

What heat? As long as I am indoors I can indulge my body's desire for cool, dry air. Technolgoy makes it so. A/C they call it. It spins, it hums, it removes a v-chip for the skin. I need not fret or sweat, and so I sleep a night's sleep, what my spent body deserves, and in the day I eat chilled fruit or sandwiches and I drink drinks with ice and I call myself a survivor and when I do venture out I bitch about the sweat although I don't sweat it much, and my friends agree, and at afternoon hours I go running to claim respect and prideful ownership of the hyperbolic sweat stains of my t-shirt and then when I get home I shower to remove the stink and reset my brain. Later I try not to feel guilty about living when I do, and the naive part of me hopes that all that come after get the same A/C I have gotten, although a part of me feels feels privileged, and another part of me collects debt for the hassle. In the evening I get drunk and I am as happy as when I am sober, although I don't realize it until regret sets in the next day and the process of comfort-seeking repeats itself.

GB store

Recently on Fuel

Urban Ethos [26]
What is Chicago's "urban ethos"?

Cool Glass of... [16]
What're you drinking?

Supreme Decision [22]
What's your reaction to the Supreme Court's decision on the Affordable Care Act?

Taking it to the Streets [20]
Chicago Street Fairs: Revolting or Awesome?

I Can Be Cruel [9]
Be real: what is the meanest thing you've ever done?

View the complete archive

GB Store

GB Buttons $1.50

GB T-Shirt $12

I ✶ Chi T-Shirts $15