Gapers Block has ceased publication.

Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
 Thank you for your readership and contributions. 


Tuesday, March 5

Gapers Block

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Blake / May 31, 2005 6:32 AM


daruma / May 31, 2005 8:38 AM

ghost payroller

lou / May 31, 2005 8:46 AM

usher at wrigley

vit / May 31, 2005 8:49 AM

It used to be driving a hired truck for the city, I'm not sure anymore.

cushie / May 31, 2005 8:57 AM

Manual scoreboard operator at Wrigley

Pete / May 31, 2005 9:27 AM

Centerfielder for the Cubs. I've been saying this for years, and I'm not even a fan any more.

Benjy / May 31, 2005 10:00 AM

I'd have to say either a broadcaster for one of the baseball teams or hosting a sports radio talk show. No true Chicago sports fan can go more than an hour without talking sports, so for those lucky enough to get paid to do so...

craftymonkey / May 31, 2005 10:20 AM

working for oprah

Roni / May 31, 2005 10:49 AM

I don't like peeing down a pipe, so not the Wrigley scoreboard guys. I'm good at being a bitch, so perhaps an usher. I'd say that the best job has to be ground crew at Wrigley. Sure you have to get up early, but the ivy looks fab in the morning. And I still have a dream of putting the tarp on the field during a rain delay. And who comes to see the team nowadays? It's all about the field!

jennifer / May 31, 2005 11:02 AM

Zamboni operator at the United Center.

e_five / May 31, 2005 11:18 AM

Restaurant reviewer for the Tribune.

Thurston / May 31, 2005 11:24 AM

Greg Kot's job at the Tribune as Rock Critic. Second place: Jim DeRogatis' job as pop music critic at the Sun Times. Working at home, free CDs and concert tickets, being paid to geek out on music - sounds good to me.

MC High Life / May 31, 2005 11:35 AM

That guy at the Tribune who does those "From the Cubicle" features during daytime Sox and/or Cub games. Watch the game on TV and get paid to "blog" about it. Holla at the ultimate ride.

eep / May 31, 2005 11:54 AM

I always thought it would be neat to be a traffic reporter for the news. Fly around in a helicopter all morning, watch the peons below caught in bumper-to-bumper traffic, and then tell them there's no way around it as you zoom off.

Overwrought / May 31, 2005 12:01 PM

I second working for Oprah.

Did you hear about the bonuses they got?

Not just a substantial pay increase, but an all expense paid vacation to Hawaii (I believe) with a spouse/significant other and kids.

jennifer / May 31, 2005 12:02 PM

Also, a host on WGN's morning program. They always look like they're having a good time.

Leelah / May 31, 2005 12:06 PM

Host of Check, Please! Alpana (sp?) had better watch out!!!

steven / May 31, 2005 12:13 PM

jobs dealing with the cubs, music or restaurants would be great. as long as its not one of those pick-up-after-everyone-else jobs. i don't want one of those.

emily / May 31, 2005 12:15 PM

My new one made official just 20 minutes ago!

mel / May 31, 2005 1:49 PM

Honestly, working for a university is awesome. I get 38 paid days off per year. Most days I sit here browsing the internet, shopping, chatting on AIM, etc. (because I don't REALLY have all that much to do).

Can't beat it with a stick.

amyc / May 31, 2005 3:46 PM

Bean polisher.

Steve / May 31, 2005 4:38 PM

I'll be working near Amy C in my new role as a Millenium Park rabbit hunter. Screw duck season; it's rabbit season 24/7 in these parts! (And catch-and-release is for sissies; I'm makin' me a stew with one of Cinnamon's recipes!)

robin.. / May 31, 2005 5:07 PM

editor of some capacity for punk planet. really, anything at all for punk planet...

Anonymous / May 31, 2005 5:11 PM

The one where you get paid on time, and the correct amount, and the check doesn't bounce, and then overdraw your bank account, and then you get a collection, and have to borrow money from your mother-in-law to pay it off, but then you still can't get a checking account again because what kind of a deadbeat are you, and get to stand in line at the check cashing place, and get to send money orders to pay your bills, and and and.

After you've been through the above, that job wearing the silly smoothy outfits outside of dunkin donuts starts to look halfway decent.

Cinnamon / May 31, 2005 5:15 PM

Running a handmade purse empire: Cinnamon Cooper OmniMedia is in my future!

Steve, try this recipe for Hassenfeffer (German Rabbit Stew):

Drdick / May 31, 2005 7:23 PM

If you can't be da coach - how bout da mayor?

Amy / May 31, 2005 8:15 PM

My job is up there, concierge at a cool downtown hotel. I eat very well these days...

waleeta / May 31, 2005 9:38 PM

Maybe the mayor..

or a producer at WTTW...

Or the person who comes up with the ideas of what Oprah gives away..I would bleed her dry and make the general public very happy.

moe / May 31, 2005 11:50 PM

Stay at home mom!
Great work if you can get it.

Roxxy / June 1, 2005 10:15 AM

Robin, yeah! Punk Planet! I was a critic for the zine last year. You'd get a huge box in the mail with 20-30 records, demos, CDs, EPs, etc. 95 percent of them were really bad. You had two weeks to critique them. It did not pay. I think the only band I became a fan of based on that experience was Against Me!
It was worth it, though. I also made some cool friends who I'm still in contact with. One is actually helping me with my zine!

Emerson Dameron / June 2, 2005 11:16 PM

"Idle Aristocrat" looks good on a calling card.

J.N. Shapiro / June 9, 2005 11:04 AM

well, until this week, it would have been working at the water treatment plant/dept. but not anymore.

egan johnson / February 15, 2006 3:05 PM

Any butchers jobs out in America. I specialise in the good old british banger.

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