Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
✶ Thank you for your readership and contributions. ✶
Wednesday, December 6
Studs Terkel, hands down.
I'd buy a beer for John Cusak. He just seems like he'd be a fun guy to shoot the shit with.
I would like to feed Mark Prior enough Old Style for him to forget that he's married, thereby opening up the door for me to take advantage of him. Ditto for John McEntire of Tortoise. Isn't Bob Odenkirk from the suburbs? I'd love to sit down with him for a few drinks, too.
That elusive Naz of GB. I hear his kung-fu moves are unstoppable.
Okay, really. One of our celebrity chefs: Michael Altenberg, Shawn McClain, Ted Cizma. Most seem like down-to-earth folk (save your Baylisses and Trotters) and would have endless cooking adventures to regale with. And cooking tips.
John Cusack and Studs Terkel would be great. I'd also like to add Ira Glass because I think he's the coolest and I bet he'd be a funny drunk.
Chicago's rich and famous should be buying us beers. They can afford to, yaknow? Cheap SOBs never pay for nuthin'.
Martha Plimpton.
Oooh... does Wilmette count? Bill Murray.
Hello? R Kelly anyone? Can't a thug get a hug around here?
I will always have time for a drink with Martha Nussbaum, philosopher and social theorist extrodinaire down at the U of C. And I'd pay big money to Swill with Enrico Fermi.
I'd buy a beer for Daley if he'd tell me what his obsession with iron fences was all about. And perhaps if my alderman Ted Matlak would give me a residential parking permit, I'd buy him a beer too, but until then, he can buy his own beer while I look for parking.
can i buy a drink for a dead man? nelson algren.
John Cusack was my number one, but everyone keeps picking him as their beer buddy, so I'll go with Jeremy Piven. Hey, there's a chance that he might bring John Cusack with him.
As for a purchase for a dead Chicagoan, it would have to be made for Mike Royko.
South Loop..Mayor Daley..White Sox game in the backround...now that's living!!!!
I'd buy a beer for Ernest Hemingway because he moved to Cuba and that in and of itself rules. Only I'd buy him something way cooler than a beer but I'm not sure what exactly as my alcoholic experience is somewhat less than existent.
I agree that these folks should buy us the beers, but maybe John Mahoney now that he's got lots of free time.
Or Jeff Tweedy, but I would buy him a soda water.
James Iha. And though she only went to college here, Hope Davis. *sigh*
I don't get the obsession with Cusack. I bet I could drink him under the table pretty quick.
I know Malkovich lives in France, but he'll probably be spending a lot of time here next year for his Steppenwolf appearance. Now there's a guy I could go shot for shot with.
I would also be fun to drink with Sam Zell, Bob Pritzker, Bill Wrigley Jr. and Oprah, just to see who picks up the tab.
Billy Corgan....He seems like a reasonable rocker.
Denise Richards. She has a nice rack.
Doesn't anyone want to buy a drink for Joan Cusack? I do. Hey, she's got the Oscar noms, and she insisted on doing her sitcom here, even if it didn't last. I wouldn't mind having a beer with Bob Falls, either. And anyone who'd pass up a chat with Studs Terkel is clearly insane.
Bernie Mac.
Kris - I noted that I'd like to have dinner with both the Cusacks. I quite like Joan, she seems like she'd be fun to be around.
Joan lost her chance to have a drink with me when she began whoring herself for US Cellular. Who's with me? I really detest those commercials.
I'd love to have a beer with the Cusacks -- as long as they promised to dress like their characters from Sixteen Candles...
Re Joan Cusack for US Cellular: who among us would deny her the right to get paid? (Well, Lisa, for starters.) It's a testament to her goodwill-to-bankability ratio that she even landed the gig in the first place. And the low residual erosion rate of the goodwill (with me, anyway, not Lisa) is a testament to her enduring coolness.
Recently: What About Joan? made me re-root for her (*I* was watching, Mr. Nielsen), and School of Rock made me re-love her.
I was surprised she grubbed the loot, but I forgive her unconditionally, without judgement.
Should we hold it against the Steppenwolf-ish dudes (Harris, Malkovich, Sinise, Petersen) every time they punch the "edgy psycho" ticket, when we both know they're way above the part? (Think, for example, Sinise in Ransom.)
It's better than Joan borrowing money from her brother, right? Now how about Bonnie Hunt for Vagisil!
I can't hold back from bragging that I've had a drink with William Petersen in Evanston before his CSI days. I'll just say he's one I wouldn't want to go shot for shot with.
If you want to have a drink with the Cusacks, hike up to the 700 block of Sheridan Rd in Evanston around Thanksgiving... a birdie told me the Cusacks commonly assemble in the lakefront park across the street from their parents' house for a family football game...
Everybody's down with me on this thread, oh yeah! Let's get them Cusacks blottoed with the great taste of Duff! And I'll have me one with Denise Richards, aka Titania....
Ald. Richard F. Mell or Ed Burke. I'd love to buy them drink after drink and talk for hours. Mell especially.
After them, Bernie Mac.
Oh, and John Cusack because he's a tepidly likable loser in love. Oh wait, that's not him, that's the only character he can ever play because he's a talentless hack. Never mind.
Drinks with Terkel, beyond-the-grave drinks with Algren and Mike Royko, and golf with Bill Murray.
They should buy me a beer. Seriously.
I would love to get james iha and mark prior liquored up so that i could have my way with them, respectively, of course. i'd like to have equal time with each boy.
Urban Ethos [26]
What is Chicago's "urban ethos"?
Cool Glass of... [16]
What're you drinking?
Supreme Decision [22]
What's your reaction to the Supreme Court's decision on the Affordable Care Act?
Taking it to the Streets [20]
Chicago Street Fairs: Revolting or Awesome?
I Can Be Cruel [9]
Be real: what is the meanest thing you've ever done?
Naz / June 18, 2004 10:59 AM
Me and Daley down by the Schoolyard...
I think I'd like to sit down with the Cusacks for some dinner. I'd also like to have a beer with Oprah and shoot the shite - I wanna know if she's ever not chipper chipper chipper.