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Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
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Tuesday, April 23

Gapers Block

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ivy / September 13, 2006 11:57 AM

Merchandise Mart.

It would take up the whole board.

m / September 13, 2006 12:00 PM


crunchy / September 13, 2006 12:15 PM

Flash Taco

Dan M. / September 13, 2006 12:20 PM

I say Hot Doug's gets the St Charles Place spot, complete with "Advance to..." card.

Mostly because I want a little card that I can blame for constantly sending me to my deliciously artery-damning doom.

Y A J / September 13, 2006 12:26 PM

On my Chicago board the colors would be neighborhoods, so there would be trios from Pilsen, Little Italy, Hyde Park, etc
Mag Mile would replace Boardwalk. L lines would replace the railroads.

I noticed they changed the playing peices too. I'd have a vienna beef hot dog, a CTA car and a parking meter you could move around the board.

Chance cards could be Chicago specific too: "You got booted, pay $300 to get your car back."

amyc / September 13, 2006 1:01 PM

The Bean would be a great playing piece! I'd rather have that than the top hat.

And they'd have to change the rules so that all the houses could be randomly torn down for condos.

NSH / September 13, 2006 1:04 PM

Another good chance card
You've been caught with foi gras in your freezer - pay $500

eep / September 13, 2006 1:22 PM

I think the higher-rental spaces on the board (the old Marvin Gardens and the like) should constantly shift. Whatever up-and-coming area being touted as the next the next hot neighborhood would move to those spaces. Then, once the condos are bought and the prices skyrocket, the neighborhood would be demoted back to Illinois-Indiana-Kentucky status and the next neighborhood would take over that position on the board. It would be a total crapshoot for players regarding which neighborhoods are safe real estate bets, which is much more realistic.

Instead of jail, it should be Lincoln Towing.

And instead of losing a turn in the Chance cards, it would be getting stuck in construction on the Ryan. In the rain.

Bill V / September 13, 2006 1:30 PM

It would be a really crowded board, but I would add some key music venues like Metro, Schubas, Double Door, Empty Bottle. There are others too. I'd leave off shitholes like the Riv and Aragon.

Greg / September 13, 2006 1:38 PM

Does anyone still *play* Monopoly? It's the one game that everyone owns (or thinks they should own), but just try to get a game together sometime. It'll fall through.

Free Parking: would be eliminated. I mean, really.

Baltic & Mediterranean, or as we called them, "douchebag alley": Peotone Airport, Fordham Spire.

B'walk/Park Place (aka the spots everyone covets but which are not the keys to victory): Wrigley Field, Lincoln Park.

Denver boot
lawn chair
the Bean
the Hancock (sorry Sears, the 'cock is a better looking building)
a rolled-up Empire carpet
a hot dog
a Ferris wheel

jared / September 13, 2006 2:03 PM

Sheridan & Wilson = Mediterranean Avenue

paul / September 13, 2006 2:13 PM

Don't forget the Utilities - ComEd, Nicor, People's Gas etc.

Yea, the Railroads should all be El lines, not airports. And you should lose a couple of turns if you land on the Red Line.

And the guy in the top hat on all the cards should be replaced with a cartoon of Daley.

amy / September 13, 2006 2:44 PM

Purple = k town
Lt. Blue = englewood
Magenta = wild 100's
Orange = beverly
Red = ravenswood
Yellow = wicker park
Green = lincoln park
Dk. Blue = gold coast

Railroads could be CTA routes (I vote blue, red, green, brown).

Utilities are ComEd and People's Gas and they will charge you out the ass. Everytime you go around the board they charge you an extra 5% and put an ad on the radio explaining why they need to raise the rate.

scrappy / September 13, 2006 3:20 PM

I'd add Marshall Field's

Cheryl / September 13, 2006 3:58 PM

The Picasso would make a great token.

Oketo! / September 13, 2006 4:17 PM

Railroads: CTA, Metra, Amtrak, Southshore

spook / September 13, 2006 4:36 PM

Robert Taylor Ave, Jon Burge Area Two police Station Blvd, Pay to Play Way

Paul / September 13, 2006 4:44 PM

Chance cards based on Amy's idea:

Your apartment is going condo! Pay upgrade fee of $200,000

Property tax increase! Pay 50% additional for all residential properties


Large corporate conglomerate buys beloved department store! Receive $1.2 million in kickbacks for ignoring historical value

Kevin / September 13, 2006 4:48 PM

Yeah, the el should be a railroad, and the card for it should have a scratch and sniff thingy that smells like the Grand stop of the Blue Line.

There also should be a bad chance card that involves you paying your car insurance premium because a cop car plowed into you after running a red light.

Andrew / September 13, 2006 4:50 PM

Blagg the Axeman:
Please email me at I've got a proposition for you, which may further your campaign against Lord Kayne.

Phil / September 13, 2006 7:07 PM

Too Many Parking Tickets - Fined $2,000 and Go directly to Jail

Spook / September 14, 2006 2:38 AM

Don't do it Blagg, don't do it!
its just a Corporate Capitalist trap to steal you're soul
and leave you forever a slave to the evil Lord Kayne!Warning! Warning Warning Blagg the Axeman, Warning!

Marilyn / September 14, 2006 8:07 AM

Community Chest should be changed to Campaign Contributions or Patronage. "You have just been indicted. Lose 50 patronage jobs." "You have just been nominated. Collect $200,000 from slush fund for reelection expenses."

shermann / September 14, 2006 9:21 AM

Starbucks - on every corner.

Marilyn / September 14, 2006 9:28 AM

The little houses should be Chicago bungalows. The hotels should look like the Palmer House.

Oketo! / September 14, 2006 10:12 AM

Potbelly on every other corner!

fluffy / September 14, 2006 10:22 AM

I have never played Monopoly. Well, I once played Pokemon Monopoly with my nephew, but I think he made up the rules and even cheated.

p.s. I love my cat- I've never met a more awesome pet.

Terminal Verbosity / September 14, 2006 10:48 AM

Free Parking: would be eliminated. I mean, really.

Not eliminated, just shrunk down to half-inch square and put on the bottom of the board. You have to know a guy who's uncle owns the lot to park there.

And I second Goethe. If you own the property and someone lands on it, they get to pay half the rent if they pronounce it correctly.

Museum Campus
U of C
Steppenwolf Theater

I call the Picasso!

PMan / September 14, 2006 2:05 PM

I'd make City Hall an-uber hotel. If you owned City Hall, not only would you be able to raise the rent 45% every time someone landed on that property, you could also summarily take over other properties and allow any player of your choice to build luxury condos on that property.

Blagg the Axman for Mayor / September 14, 2006 4:12 PM

Spook, you are 100% correct. It is a trap! that I think about it, Andrew IS the evil Lord Kayne!!

It makes sense!

Andrew did post once, "GB is just too much work to do for free."

Don't fall for it, Blagg!!

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