Gapers Block has ceased publication.

Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
 Thank you for your readership and contributions. 


Friday, March 31

Gapers Block

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Sarah / June 9, 2005 11:58 PM

That Mayor Dailey is really a major drug lor. oh. um. nevermind.

Joe / June 10, 2005 8:37 AM

Dusty Baker is being paid off by Mayor Daley.

pat / June 10, 2005 8:39 AM

that there really isn't corruption in the city at all, that it's only played up for the sake of tourism.

Thurston / June 10, 2005 9:24 AM

Casino gambling in Chicago was negotiated and agreed to long ago by Daley as part of Donald Trump's bid to build his new tower of gaudiness at WaBash and the River.

Cinnamon / June 10, 2005 10:30 AM

That the Republican leaders agree not to support candidates in the city as long as the Democrats agree not to support candidates in the burbs.

bella / June 10, 2005 10:31 AM

1) Daley and Chicago Public Schools are trying to increse ridership for the CTA by eliminating bussing to all public schools next year. It is actually true that there will no longer be any bussing to the the public schools next year. Get ready to share the morning commute rush with all the kiddies and teenieboppers next year. woohoo.

2) The mayor held a late night bunny hunt in Millenium Park due to the bunnies going after the millions he has spent on "greening the city"

Kevin / June 10, 2005 10:40 AM

In a crazy turn of events, the mayor goes batshit insane, sends streets & san out to actually fill potholes, fix streetlights and sewers. This confuses Chicagoans who are now acclimated to the neglect and blatant disregard for public safety.

Anthony / June 10, 2005 10:51 AM

Mayor's cronies finally succeed in shutting down the CTA. Land sold to developers, who build cement block battleships or perhaps 3 story Best Buys (or Escapes -- whichever you fancy), Restoration Hardwares, Crate and Barrels, Whole Foods, Gap brand stores, Starbucks, etc. And park garages. Everywhere -- with double wide spots for SUVs. Parking spots become the next commodity to own. More costly city stickers makes huge revenues. Traffic in the city doubles. Rising levels of road rage lead make Chicago the murder capital of the country again. Tourist dollars begin drying up. Michigan Ave sees first signs of blight with the closing of the Apple store. In order to alleviate the problem, a new mass transit plan is proposed.

Shylo / June 10, 2005 11:04 AM

oh, i think about this one a lot. here are some sun-times/scandal headlines going through my head lately:

"maggie daley lezzie love tapes"
"there's heroin in them thar fireplugs"
"jeremy piven, joan cusack reject chi-tizenship"
"millennium park grill 'rat salad' fiasco"
"dorothy tillman, dick mell sybaris tryst"

Roni / June 10, 2005 11:05 AM

Sadly, Cin...that's not a new scandal. It's just scandalous.

New scandal...I'm waiting for the prostitution ring run by a high ranking woman to emerge. Or human traffiking of nannies & maids.

Cynically Optimistic / June 10, 2005 3:21 PM

Ala Harrison Ford in The Fugitive, Osama bin Laden made his way to Chicago last year and has been living on Lower Wacker Drive. Streets & Sanitation crews have not only known the baddie has been holed up here but they've been bringing him tea and cheeseburgers from the Billy Goat. (For the next sweeps period, Walter Jacobson plans on posing as an al-Qaida operative and spending a night with bin Laden in a cardboard box.)

Barney / June 10, 2005 5:24 PM

The bribes Clear Channel paid to get the lakefront music center come to light.

mike / June 11, 2005 12:40 PM


-how about the ongoing scandal of forcing schools to work in the red--or of actually never using state lottery tickets funds for schools--
-but then again, there's always the pizza

cyrus / June 11, 2005 1:15 PM

I think once Paulie Walnuts comes to collect the vig on his points with the Colombians and Water Plant heroin dealer, this whole little "problem" will blow over and then we can focus on other scandals like the gold lettering at Jewel in Lake Forest.

drdick / June 12, 2005 3:58 AM

Block 37 is turned in to Daley Jr. Plaza and a huge staute is erected amongst billboards from all the mayors favorite corporate donors.

Emerson Dameron / June 12, 2005 7:16 PM

The public execution of Frank Kruesi delights Chicagoans... until Amnesty International spoils the fun, as always.

craftymonkey / June 12, 2005 8:15 PM

E.coli levels near the lakefront skyrocket when chocolate discarded from Archibald Candy Corp (previous owners of Fanny May) is found to contain fecal matter.

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