Gapers Block has ceased publication.

Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
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Sunday, April 21

Gapers Block

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dave / April 4, 2007 12:34 AM

Other than Gapers Block?

Magda / April 4, 2007 3:02 AM

As my father would say, they should move to Vegas where they would legally throw games.

Joe / April 4, 2007 7:01 AM

The CTA.

They are experts at handling train wrecks.

Har Har!

printdude / April 4, 2007 7:49 AM

I would like to see some consortium put Steve Stone at the head of their little group and give him free reign.

dino / April 4, 2007 8:08 AM

I don't really care, so long as they delegate and hire a good GM who is at least somewhat attuned to stats-based analysis/best practices and who builds up the farm system to the point where it can actually produce major league position players.

Mikey / April 4, 2007 8:21 AM

Mark CUBan, without a doubt...

It would be a refreshing change to see someone take over the team who is a fan first, and a businessperson second...

Plus, he's the type of guy who would hang out at the Wrigleyville bars after the game and throw some beers back with the Wrigley Field faithful...

jaymce / April 4, 2007 8:45 AM

hey cub fans... "careful what you wish for... you just might get it"

i'd like to buy them... i'd raise wrigley and build the chet lemon condo complex in the shape of the number 44 in it's place. then, i'd move the team to kane county so they would be closer to their minor league rivals, the cougars. this would cut down on travel expenses.

ps - dino is one of the few who clearly understands the real problem

jaymce is a killjoy / April 4, 2007 8:59 AM

ps - dino is one of the few who clearly understands the real problem

Thanks for the condescending observation. Exscept that the question pertains to owner, and not general manager...

skafiend / April 4, 2007 9:32 AM

Steve Bartman. He can institute Cap-And-Headphones Day, retire Moises Alou's jersey and ban any idiot who blames him for their 2003 collapse, which should mean more seats for clear-thinking baseball fans.

Dan R / April 4, 2007 9:34 AM

I'm kinda hoping a Bill Murray buys em.

leah / April 4, 2007 9:54 AM

Mark Cuban.

jaymce / April 4, 2007 10:07 AM

truthfully, and i know this won't make me popular, but i would like to see wirtz buy the cubs.

if that doesn't happen (ha ha ha) i would like to see mike veeck buy the team. like his old man, he respects fans and knows how to have fun. this might turn some southside heads north.

(sorry to be a killjoy above... didn't mean to be condescending, just wanted to throw some respect at the accurate meanderings of dino. sincerely, sorry)

charlie / April 4, 2007 10:30 AM

Ronnie Woo Woo

mike-ts / April 4, 2007 10:31 AM

Either Mark Cuban or Mike Veeck. There are a few of us around who remember Bill Veeck, and how it was when he had the Sox. It was the one time in my life that I could stand that team. He made the ballpark a really fun place, while still putting a team on the field that made a run for the division in 1977. The South Side Hit Men.

Dan R / April 4, 2007 10:32 AM

I believe jaymce meant "raze wrigley" not "raise wrigley."

Way to prove stereotypes about Sox fans.

Josh / April 4, 2007 10:46 AM

* Someone who doesn't remove the outfield ivy to make room for advertisements.

* Someone who eliminates advance purchases of bleacher seats, reverting to the on-sale-the-day-of-game-only option.

* Someone who draws back the price of bleacher seats to a reasonable price - say $15.

Considering how Wrigleyville looks now, the Cubs should move elsewhere and Wrigley Field should be converted into a stadium for a college football team.

Cheryl / April 4, 2007 10:57 AM

Mike Veeck.

JERRY 101 / April 4, 2007 11:23 AM

I'll buy 'em.
Lets see...
I have a dollar thirty six in my pocket.

Might be overpaying, but what the heck?

Bill V / April 4, 2007 11:55 AM

The City of Chicago. They can cut payroll to about one third and use the rest of the millions on schools and roads.

As for the money to put up, they can make that rather easily with a string of lotteries, just run them every hour for the next few months.

Dave! / April 4, 2007 12:38 PM

Cuban. Definitely.
Bill Murray would be cool, too.

skafiend / April 4, 2007 1:09 PM

The City of Chicago.

Yes, I can see it now...They'll say they won't go higher than $300 million for the team, but the final cost will be double that.

And they'll hire a black manager but he'll really be a front for a white manager...

Vince Jose / April 4, 2007 1:32 PM

Fan ownership like the Packers. with Cuban and Veeck on the board of directors.

spook / April 4, 2007 2:05 PM

Lets trade the cubs to the war torn Democratic Republic of the Congo, for thier endangered population of Silver Back and Mountain Gorillas.

We could set up breeding programs for these great animals in partnership with the South African Government because its stable there.
To sweaten the deal, the Congo would also get the Cub's yuppie obnoxious
fans to be used as indentured servants

silverback gorilla / April 4, 2007 10:17 PM


Put that beer down now and get your punk ass over here and present! I feel like "breeding" again.

spook / April 4, 2007 10:56 PM

chuckle, chuckle, well Iam recently single.......and I am drinking a beer right at this very moment......but I'm not that desperate..........I mean I'd have to date hefty girls first!
Oh come on Silver Back gorilla, stick to the topic and stop flirting, least I get accused of hijacking this glorious thread....but that would be a interesting thread, Silver Back or Lincoln Park Trixie?

printdude / April 5, 2007 8:29 AM

After much consideration, I would like to see Don Cheney run the Cubs.

you screw up, you get a shotgun blast to your face.

That's a management threat that works.

skafiend / April 5, 2007 10:11 AM

After much consideration, I would like to see Don Cheney run the Cubs.
you screw up, you get a shotgun blast to your face.

I'm guessing you mean Dick Cheney. Don Cheney would smack you in the face with a basketball and suggest that the infielders play man-to-man defense :)

printdude / April 5, 2007 11:21 AM

Yeah, Dick.
I'd rather Lon Cheney, But Dick is the Real hard-ass.

I have issues remembering Republican's names.

Mikey / April 5, 2007 11:41 AM

Now do you really mean Lon Chaney, the silent film star famous for The Phantom of the Opera and The Hunchback of Notre Dame?

Or was that just a tyop on Don Cheney?

Mikey / April 5, 2007 11:42 AM

Damn. Speaking of "typos"...

Jeff / April 5, 2007 12:05 PM

Why not have them purchased by a consortium of fans?

There are probably at least 10 million Cubs fans in the world who would be willing to pitch in between 50-100 bucks per person. We could even outbid Trump!

The best decision this fan consortium could make would be to hire Bill Murray to manage the team (maybe hire Bobby Valentine as a consultant -- he's probably due to come back from Japan and bring Ryno up from P-town to be a special hitting/fielding coach) and just let him do his thing.

I'm only half joking.

spook / April 5, 2007 12:16 PM

I think that's an excellent idea, Jeff. Power to the People brotha!

I would not only become a baseball fan, but a cubs fan! Of course they'd have to recruit Darrell Strawberry, I mean he wouldn't have to play the position he played in NY but he should be on the team. He deserves another chance and Bill Murry would give him just the sort of inspirational speech he needs to get going!

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