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Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
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Sunday, July 21

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Andrew / February 6, 2005 11:53 PM

Pick your top 10 soon-to-be-dead celebrities and add them to the list. Whoever has the most correct picks at the end of the year wins a GB fun-pack.

Andrew / February 6, 2005 11:54 PM

Oh -- make sure to include a real email address, so we'll be able to contact you if you win. (Don't worry, we won't do anything else with it.)

Joe / February 7, 2005 6:43 AM morbid. Count me in.

1. The Pope
2. Gerald Ford
3. Dick Clark
4. Richard Pryor
5. Walter Cronkite
6. William Rehnquist
7. Fidel Castro
8. Nancy Reagan
9. Kirk Douglas
10. Henry Kissinger

Maggie / February 7, 2005 8:53 AM

Well, Joe took all the good ones...

1. Abe Vigoda
2. Ok, that's all I can think of. But I sooo have Abe Vigoda.

Mike / February 7, 2005 9:04 AM

Joe, thinking of Gerald Ford as a "celebrity" is pretty funny. Like Ford and Hillary Duff are going to be co-presenting the Best R&B Single for 2005 at the MTV awards or something like that. But, I agree, he's going out soon.


1. Karol Joseph Wojtyla, AKA The Pope, AKA Pope-diddy
2. Liz Taylor
3. Ted Williams
4. Nancy Reagan
5. One of the Olsen twins (just one though)
6. Tommy Ramone
7. Ruby Dee (only because of Ossie Davis' recent death, the spouse usually only has a few years)
8. June Carter (see #7 and Johnny Cash)
9. William Rehnquist
10. Toby Keith*

*I'm even willing to say how this one will happen: he'll be mauled to death with a "Stars and Stripes" limited edition Telecaster by a group of black-bloc anarchists after his $200K pickup runs out of gas on the outskirts of Eugene, OR.

christian / February 7, 2005 9:19 AM


8. June Carter (see #7 and Johnny Cash)

Already dead, died before Johnny. May 15th, 2003.

Maggie / February 7, 2005 9:20 AM

Um, I think June Carter Cash is dead.

Roni / February 7, 2005 9:31 AM

#3 Ted Williams

As in the already dead Ted Williams?

amyc / February 7, 2005 9:57 AM

Wow, Mike's totally winning already!

waleeta / February 7, 2005 10:10 AM

1. The Pope
2. Keith Richards
3. Dick Cheney
4. Rehnquist
5. Kenny Rogers
6. Maya Angelou
7. Al-Zarqawi
8. Pinochet
9. Sean Connery
10. What the hell - Courtney Love

Andrew / February 7, 2005 10:15 AM

Just because one person picks a particular celeb doesn't mean someone else can't. The idea is to have the most correct answers -- originality isn't a factor, although it can help put you over the top.

christian / February 7, 2005 10:39 AM

1. The Pope
2. Kirk Douglas
3. Dick Clark
4. Richard Pryor
5. Annette Funicello (long shot)
6. Jerry Lewis
7. Mickey Rooney
8. Fidel Castro
9. Ed McMahon
10.Michael Jackson (suicide)

I'm good on at least two.

Charlie Ferreira / February 7, 2005 10:59 AM

1-The Pope
2-50 Cent
3-Michael Jackson
4-George H. W. Bush
5-Jose Canseco
6-Roger Moore
7-Robert Downey Jr.
8-Doc Serverson
9-Dan Rather
10-Paris Hilton

Maggie / February 7, 2005 11:20 AM

Okay, I amend my post:

1. Abe Vigoda
2. William Perry
3. Castro
4. Ed McMahon
5. Mickey Rooney
6. Gerald Ford
7. Ringo Starr
8. Liz Taylor
9. William Rehnquist
10. Olivia de Haviland

Mike / February 7, 2005 11:24 AM

Damn, I can't believe I picked two dead people. I gotta catch up on my senior citizen celeb reading.

Thurston / February 7, 2005 11:34 AM

1) Michael J. Fox
2) Jeff Tweedy
3) George Ryan
4) Jimmy Carter
5) Mahmoud Abbas
6) Queen Elizabeth
7) Michael Jackson
8) Whitney Houston
9) Joan Rivers
10) Iyad Allawi

e_five / February 7, 2005 11:35 AM

1. Ruby Dee (grief)
2. Pope John Paul II (age)
3. Charlton Heston (gunshot)
4. Robert Blake (suicide)
5. Andy Dick (overdose)
6. Rush Limbaugh (overdose)
7. Mickey Rooney (age)
8. Gerald Ford (eaten by wolves)
9. Dick Cheney (crushed under piles of war profits)
10. Kneau Reeves (car accident)

e_five / February 7, 2005 11:38 AM

I think Mike is predicting that Ted Williams will be unfrozen, come to life, and die within the year.

Maureen / February 7, 2005 1:49 PM

In no particular order:

1) Mahmoud Abbas
2) Al Molinaro (of Happy Days and Encore frozen dinners fame)
3) The Pope
4) Elizabeth Taylor
5) George W. Bush
6) Saddam Hussein
7) Iyad Allawi
8) Farrah Fawcett
9) Edward Furlong
10) Courtney Love

Pete / February 7, 2005 1:51 PM

Pope John Paul II
Walter Cronkite
Don Knotts
Jimmy Carter
Kirk Douglas
Dick Cheney
Andy Rooney
Charlton Heston
Muhammad Ali
Jack Klugman

Andrew / February 7, 2005 2:01 PM

In no particular order:

I would think not. It's hard to get people to die on schedule. :)

christian / February 7, 2005 2:44 PM


1. The Pope, of old age and complications do to his current illness.

2. Kirk Douglas, of shame do to his sons next movie role "The Bad Actor" in which Michael Douglas plays an aging actor who seems to play the same exact roll over and over again so much so that the no matter what roll he plays, you are always aware that he is who he is.

3. Dick Clark due to his resent stroke will not make it to next New Years Eve over grief for making the American public have to endure Regis.

4. Richard Pryor of complications due to MS.

5. Annette Funicello (long shot) see above.

6. Jerry Lewis will explode.

7. Mickey Rooney will stink into nothingness.

8. Fidel Castro, while lighting a cigar, Fidel's beard catches on fire, with no one around to help him, he dies as his head explodes.

9. Ed McMahon stricken with grief over friend Johnny Carson's death, and that of his friend Dick Clark, Ed starts laughing uncontrollable and starves himself of oxygen.

10. Michael Jackson truly believing himself to be Peter Pan, attempts to fly away from his troubles only to make a big splating sound as he hits the ground. Subsequently the recording of this sound goes triple platinum.

Mike / February 7, 2005 4:35 PM

I think Mike is predicting that Ted Williams will be unfrozen, come to life, and die within the year.

Actually, that's my amendment to Toby Keith. We'll, ahem, er...they'll do it over and over again. Every 4th of July until the end of time.

Ann-Marie / February 7, 2005 5:13 PM

What is up with putting Jeff Tweedy on the list?

Joe / February 7, 2005 7:13 PM

I hope no one posting these lists is really desperate for a GB fun pack and extremely ambitious.

Jeff / February 7, 2005 11:43 PM

1. Prince Rainier
2. The Pope
3. Abe Vigoda
4. Studs Terkel (please no, Studs--stay with us)
5. Gerald Ford
6. Eddie Albert
7. Art Linkletter
8. Eli Wallach
9. Rosa Parks
10. Richard Pryor

Andy / February 8, 2005 7:51 AM

1. Chuck Woolery
2. Ringo Starr
3. Patti LaBelle
4. Joe Jackson
5. Arnold Palmer
6. Mike Tyson
7. Elaine Stritch
8. Bob Barker
9. Wayne Newton
10. Shania Twain (you gotta cross your fingers for someone)

Leah / February 8, 2005 8:15 AM

1. The Pope
2. Ernie Harwell (Noo!)
3. Dick Clark
4. Britney Spears (she can't get insurance! Now would be the time...)
5. Michael Douglas
6. Charleton Heston
7. Barry Bonds (one needle too many?)
8. Augusto Pinochet
9. Frank Kruesi
10. Rudy Giuliani

Chigo / February 8, 2005 10:46 AM

Chicago edition:

1. Dusty Baker (when Cubs underperform)
2. Frank Kruesi (when CTA cuts kick in)
3. Rod Blagojevich (by angry bloggers)
4. Ken Williams (plethora of reasons)
5. Mike North (ratings wise)
6. Mayor Daley (for trying to 'reform' the way bidness is done in Chitown)
7. United Airlines

(I need a few more)

Michael / February 8, 2005 10:47 AM

1. Pope John Paul II - any day now.
2. Jerry Lewis
3. Osama bin Laden - he's running out of hiding places
4. Rosa Parks - it's Black History Month ya'll.
5. Dick Clark
6. Ed Asner
7. Zsa Zsa Gabor
8. Rue Mclanahan
9. Estelle Getty
10. Bea Arthur - The Golden Girls all go out together.

Long live Abe Vagoda!

Benjy / February 8, 2005 11:30 AM

1. Pope John Paul II
2. Bob Barker
3. Nick Nolte
4. Richard Pryor
5. Andy Rooney
6. William Rehnquist
7. McDonald's CEO Jim Skinner (they've been losing about 1 a year lately)
8. Whoever is elected leader of Iraq
9. Tony Bennett
10. Jerry Stiller

Toni / February 8, 2005 11:44 AM

1. JP II
2. Lady Bird Johnson
3. Abe Vigoda
4. Sid Cesar
5. William Rehnquist
6. Rosa Parks
7. Mickey Rooney
8. J.D. Salinger
9. Scott Weiland
10. Yogi Berra

jm / February 8, 2005 1:05 PM

Members of the “Abe Vigoda is a BAY-BEE” Celebrity Breakfast Club

1. Harry Morgan aka Colonel Potter (Senior Member: 4/10/1915)
2. Kirk Douglas
3. Walter Kronkite
4. C. Everett Koop (membership is under review since he died of cardiac arrest in ’04 but was brought back)
5. Ernest Borgnine
6. Billy Graham
7. Pete Seeger
8. Zsa Zsa Gabor
9. Shelley Winters
10. James Doohan (“Cap’n…she canna go any faster!”)

* Although the scope of their celebrity is dubious, Jack LaLanne and Paul Harvey have both applied as members. When the group begins to admit writers, Madeline L’Engle, J.D. Salinger and Ray Bradbury will be considered. Rosa Parks has declined membership since she will live forever.

Pat / February 8, 2005 1:14 PM

this should be a cinch

1. Jules Verne
2. Meyer Gugenheim
3. Maurice Barrymore
4. Henrik Ibsen
5. Leland Stanford
6. Annunzio Mantovani
7. Lillian Hellman
8. Pierre Curie
9. Jerry Colonna
10. John Milton Hay

oh wait... this pool is for 2005 and not 1905? nevermind.

jm / February 8, 2005 1:28 PM


The “Abe Vigoda is a BAY-BEE” Celebrity Breakfast Club does not admit ex-presidents, their wives or royalty ever since Nancy Reagan disdainfully declared a trip to Bob's Big Boy Restaurant in Burbank "slumming." What a snob!

p.s.s. Would someone please read Eddie Albert's mail to him?! We've had him on the invite list for decades.

JohnBoy / February 8, 2005 2:11 PM

1. Pope John Paul II
2. William Rehnquist
3. Billy Graham
4. David Crosby
5. Rosa Parks
6. Lady Bird Johnson
7. Charlton Heston
8. Kirk Douglas
9. Stephen Hawking
10. Joey Bishop

jm / February 8, 2005 2:11 PM

Interesting trivia uncovered while purusing applications to the "AVBB" Celebrity Breakfast Club. Dear me, the following people are STILL WITH US...I had no idea.

Doris Day
Nipsey Russell
Bettie Page
Candy Kane
Slim Whitman
Vampira (The original horror host! Elvira, eat your heart out.)

e_five / February 8, 2005 4:24 PM

If Earth hurtles out of its orbit into the Sun (creating a tie), do we each get a GB fun pack?

amyc / February 8, 2005 5:52 PM

I'm rooting for Deep Throat, so we can find out who it is.

Dubi / February 9, 2005 1:30 AM

1) Hosni Mubarak (the egyptian president started grooming his son to take his position)
2) Jason Mewes (drugs)
3) Dominic Chianese (Jonior from the sopranos)
4) Duke Snider
5) Chuck Berry
6) Sidney Lumet
7) a generic contestant in fear factor
8) Joseph Jackson (michael's father)
9) muhamad ali
10) Peter Fonda

kate / February 9, 2005 9:03 AM

1. whoever wins this contest because that's how bad i want a GB fun-pack.

i guess i don't need to list anymore.

Julie / February 9, 2005 10:23 AM

Okay, here goes:

1. Dick Clark
2. Queen Elizabeth II
3. Micky Rooney
4. Gerald Ford
5. Pope John Paul II
6. Walter Cronkite
7. Ernest Borgnine
8. Phyliss Diller
9. Kirk Douglas
10. Albert Hofmann

daruma / February 9, 2005 11:12 AM

1. Michael J. Fox
2. Fidel Castro
3. Pope John Paul II
4. Nancy Reagan
5. Elizabeth Taylor
6. Robert Blake
7. John Drury
8. Ruby Dee
9. William Rehnquist
10. Muhammad Ali

Ted / February 9, 2005 1:00 PM

I hope all these people are still alive:

1. Eugene McCarthy
2. Y.A. Tittle
3. William Rehnquist
4. Harmon Killebrew
5. Robert McNamara
6. Cyd Charisse
7. Rod McKuen
8. Dick Dale
9. William Styron
10. Billy Casper

mia / February 9, 2005 3:38 PM

1) The guy who does the Empire carpeting commercials, if he's not secretly dead already.

2)-10) I'll get back to you

Erica / February 9, 2005 4:53 PM

Shelly Long
Chynna Doll
Brian Wilson
Liza Minelli
Scott Weiland
Mary-Kate Olsen
Martha Stewart
Christina Ricci
Robert Downey Jr.
Marc Summers
Paris Hilton
Louie Anderson
Lara Flynn Boyle
Anna Nicole Smith
Courtney Love
Jerry Lewis
Ashton Kutcher
Perry Ferrel
Marky Ramone
Tommy Ramone
Ashlee Simpson
Lindsey Lohan
Pat Sajak
Brigitte Nielsen
George Jones
Keith Richards
John Popper
Dennis Hastert
Dick Cheney
Craig Kilborn
Joan Rivers
Kirstie Alley
Jennifer Aniston
Paul Giamatti

Some will die literally, some figuratively. Honestly -- in Hollywood, at least -- what's the difference?

Erica / February 9, 2005 4:55 PM

I went overboard -- sorry. You can boot me out of the game. I just had fun listing people I think will die and/or want to stop looking at everywhere I turn.

Tim / February 10, 2005 9:00 AM

1-2. Star Jones (she is a big girl)
3. G. Ford (peacefully, in his sleep)
4. B. Clinton (a grabber)
5. H. Clinton (grief, hahahahahaha)
6. Robert Mugabe
7. H. Dean (exploding head after tribal scream)
8. J. Chirac
9. Charles Taylor
10.Foday Sankoh

jm / February 11, 2005 10:21 AM

And Arthur Miller springs from nowhere on this one. Sad, I like his plays.

courtney / April 1, 2005 1:22 AM

have we killed Paris Hilton yet? definitely add her and that obnoxious dirty looking man with the irritating voice that played the parrot in aladin

Rob / April 13, 2005 4:07 AM

1. Adam Sandler
2. Derek Jeter
3. Emelio Esteves
4. Christina Aguilera
5. Henry Ford
6. Ellen Degeneres
7. Kurt Cobain
8. Len Bias
9. Peyton Manning
10. Clay Aiken

Julie / September 16, 2005 12:41 PM

Uh....Kurt Cobain died 10 years ago

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