Gapers Block has ceased publication.

Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
 Thank you for your readership and contributions. 

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Friday, March 29

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Fuel

Blake / July 5, 2005 12:36 AM

Three months worth if you click me....

Jay / July 5, 2005 10:25 AM

Why did the City of Chicago move the fireworks in front of the city buildings. I was at North Ave with tons of people and we couldn't see the fireworks. NICE JOB DALEY! Every year we can see the fireworks from the lakefront. Why would the City move them in front of Lake Point towers so more people have to crowd in front of Buckingham founatin?

Onid / July 5, 2005 11:30 AM

I got laid off along with eight others on June 20th. I had been looking for another job so I left supressing a smile on my face. Days later two other people gave their notice. Apparently, these people had been thinking of leaving also and actually found jobs. I know that there are others looking for other jobs. According to e-mails from my ex-co-workers the managing editor (who was just promoted a couple months ago. Isn't it nice to promote someone and then make them fire 8 people?) is freaking out. That last part is the funny part.

KX / July 5, 2005 11:42 AM

My desk neighbor is ill, with what I don't know, although I think it is somewhat serious.
Every so often, he goes to the hospital to get his stomach drained, whereby he loses 30-40 pounds. He also emails us his bathroom activities. Example: "Hey, I'm not coming in today - bathroom issues. Uh, that's a good thing, don't worry, but it would be best if I stayed at home."

Emerson Dameron / July 5, 2005 12:25 PM

Since I moved here, I've worked as a bouncer, a Gold Coast doorman/maintainence hand, a proofreader for corporate audits, several sorts of clerk, etc. Retail tends to be the richest mine for anecdotes. There was the guy who was trying to rent some "adult" fare and started giving me different names, to see if he already had an account under any of them, and then pissed himself. There was the woman who brought up "Sex: The Annabel Chong Story." I said, "Hey, that's a fine documentary." She said, "It's a DOCUMENTARY?" and decided not to rent it after all. I can't begin to pick the best sniglet from my days at the tobacco shop. If I hit the lottery, I think I'd go back to work there just for the entertainment.

Emerson Dameron / July 5, 2005 12:27 PM

On second thought, who racks up better stories than bouncers? I already cataloged most of them here:

http://www.the2ndhand.com/itineraries/dameronitin.html

Cinnamon / July 5, 2005 2:36 PM

There was the time I worked in a Mexican jumping bean factory packaging Mexican jumping beans.

Seriously.

Amy / July 5, 2005 5:28 PM

Working at a hotel I have tons but my recent favorite is a guy came to check out at the front desk and complained about the water level in the toilet. Apparently his saggy testicles got wet. Nice visual huh?

Thurston / July 6, 2005 9:22 AM

Here's something that just happened. Recently, I resigned my pedantic job effective the last Friday of July, about a month before I begin grad school. I was asking the HR fool to tell me about COBRA health care coverage because I want to be covered the month before I start school. Her response? "We have 30 days from your resignation date to send you COBRA information." Thanks a ton, moron.

Erica / July 6, 2005 9:26 AM

Ever since our creative depts were moved to a different floor from the sales team, things have been pretty boring.

Jason / July 6, 2005 9:28 AM

I guess it's not a funny story as much as a ridiculous rant...

http://jasonmaslanka.com/blog/?p=123

Lacey / July 6, 2005 11:41 AM

I think the funniest work stories for me are actually on MSN Messenger and are not work-related at all.

Toni / July 6, 2005 1:10 PM

At the bookstore I used to work in, the men's room had one of those Koala baby changing tables that folds up next to the wall. Every so often, we'd find a girlie mag in there with the pages stuck together. Ugh. I hated that job.

Richard / July 11, 2005 9:23 AM

one time a co-worker was out of town so one of his buddies pooped in his CD-ROM tray and left it open for him to come back to the next monday! I dont think i have ever seen a funnier reaction on a monday morning! He just shook his head and shut the tray and started typing...he then complained to IT and told them the CD was stuck so they took it and replaced the comp...

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