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Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
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Thursday, February 29

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sousboy / August 5, 2004 11:55 AM

Are there no more qualified old white guys left in the state?

amyc / August 5, 2004 11:56 AM

Desperate, sad, and anti-social. Seriously, why are they even bothering at this point? They should have just left pervy Jack Ryan on the ballot.

shechemist / August 5, 2004 1:08 PM

the phrase "pity fuck" comes to mind.

Steve / August 5, 2004 1:11 PM

Am I wrong to hope that the horrible brain-killing virus that has overtaken (and destroyed) the Illinois GOP will spread to the national party?

Gordon / August 5, 2004 1:16 PM

Too late, Steve. It already happened back in 1980.

Steve / August 5, 2004 1:43 PM

No no no Gordon -- I mean the brain-killing virus that makes them lose all the marketing savvy and deep pockets that the national GOP enjoys. And the ability to manipulate the press, too.

G.K. Wuori / August 5, 2004 1:47 PM

I think the Republicans would have done better going after Tony Blair, especially since state residency doesn't seem to be an issue for them.

Eamon / August 5, 2004 2:25 PM

I just had a horrible thought: what if Keyes says no? I mean, the situation is kind of pathetic and laughable at present, but if Keyes turns them down, that's a good old fashioned disaster.

Benjy / August 5, 2004 3:03 PM

I guess the good sign is that this shows just how few Republicans are left in the state if they cannot find even one to run for Senate.

Andrew / August 5, 2004 3:07 PM

Oh, there are plenty left, but none of them are dumb enough to run for Senate. It's incredible how many potential candidates have turned down the job -- makes you wonder if there's a reason beyond just keeping their election records from gaining in the L column.

steve_sleeve / August 5, 2004 3:49 PM

alicia keys is awesome

Alex / August 5, 2004 3:57 PM

Damn! steve_sleeve beat me to my answer.

vit / August 5, 2004 4:33 PM

if keyes turns them down this election will just add another feather of absurdity to the cap that is illinois politics.

Qwert / August 6, 2004 7:17 AM

I remeber Keyes when I lived in DC. I think the Arby's oven mitt would understand the Senate better.

Mitch / August 6, 2004 8:43 AM

I think this is the gist of Republican politics, not just here but in every state: they can find the money to dump into their party, which they have to, contributing $2 for every $1 a Democrat would spend in some states. But when it comes to finding volunteers for anything, they can't. They hire their "volunteers" for everything from taking phone calls to running for office. And since they can't even find someone to run in a major election, I'd hate to see what the Keyes phone bank is going to look like.

Steve / August 6, 2004 9:41 AM

"Desperate, sad, and anti-social"

Yup, just look at this thread.

brian / August 6, 2004 9:44 AM

I'll never vote for Keyes, but I don't think a little competition will hurt Mr. Obama.

Shylo / August 6, 2004 10:12 AM

I don't understand the concept of black -- or gay -- Republicans. But maybe the GOP thought if two black guys ran against each other, they'd cancel each other out somehow.

robin.. / August 6, 2004 11:37 AM

I think we ought to let Mr. Keyes, of the great state of Maryland, speak for himself on this one:

"I deeply resent the destruction of federalism represented by Hillary Clinton's willingness to go into a state she doesn't even live in and pretend to represent people there. So I certainly wouldn't imitate it."
Alan Keyes on Fox News, March 17, 2000.

irony is dead. long live irony.

Shasta MacNasty / August 6, 2004 11:48 AM

Two words: hot mess. But nevermind this, check out the racist in Tennessee who won the GOP primary because he had no opponents...aaaaaand a bunch of racists voted for him. But anyway...

Luckily I'm getting my eyebrows waxed then going for martinis, or else this would be a horrid day.

chris / August 6, 2004 11:52 AM

Unless I'm mistaken, primaries are paid for by the state, right? So if the GOP pressures the winner of their primary to drop out of the general election, and then refuses to let the 2nd place finisher run, why should we ever have to pay for a GOP primary again? Why shouldn't we force the IGOP to pay the state back for the cost of the primary? Why shouldn't they have to put up with the xenophobic embarassment that is Jim Oberweis?

Jake / August 6, 2004 12:01 PM

Alan Keyes still sends junk mail to my dead mom bashing Hillary Clinton and the proponents of the homosexual agenda. He's a dick.

Renew this, beeitch.

Jake / August 6, 2004 12:01 PM

Oops, forgot my html:

Steve / August 6, 2004 1:15 PM

All republicans are not racist or bigots. Just like all democrats are not idiots and irresponsible.

Mike / August 6, 2004 2:01 PM

However, Republicans do vote all the time for racist and biggoted legislation, Democrats just act like idiots sometimes. (See: Jesse Helms, Trent Lott, Rick Santorum, Orrin Hatch, and so on).
I guarantee that the only black folks at the GOP convention in September will be on the stage.

jeff / August 6, 2004 3:24 PM

I am looking forward to the debates. Both are very well spoken, very well educated. Both are genuinely committed to a political philosophy--and opposing ones, too. Keyes will need to answer to his own hypocrisy re: Hillary, as rightly pointed out above by robin, but at least he will force Obama to deliver some substance. All ideas will be out in the open and challenged. That's a good thing for all of us.

Kris / August 6, 2004 3:42 PM

I agree with jeff, in a way. I think Keyes is a tool, but it will make for good, intelligent debates. And it's better for everyone, including Barack, that he not be allowed to just roll into office unopposed.

On the other hand, I wonder what poor Judy Baar Topinka feels about all this. She's such a moderate Republican and, seemingly, a really decent lady--is she dying a little death each day she has to preside over this crap, trucking in a right wingnut like Keyes? Or, and this is the scenario I like, is this her master plan to finally kill off the extreme right wing of the IL GOP? Bring in the extreme candidate from out of state, drawing even more national attention to the race, and when Keyes flames out and the neo-cons are totally and finally disheartened, she can rebuild the state party her way: with moderation and sanity. Any takers?

GOP / August 6, 2004 3:42 PM

Republicans from all over the state will be gathering in Arlington Heights this Sunday to see AMBASSADOR ALAN KEYES accept the State Central Committee's offer of the Republican nomination for candidate for U.S. Senate from Illinois.

We encourage everyone to come out in a show of support. Ambassador Keyes has promised us that he is going to work hard to defeat the ultra-liberal Barack Obama, stop the hemorrhaging of trust and restore confidence in our State Republican Party, and retain this Senate seat for Republicans.

This is also good news for President Bush. Given our State Party's problems here, we weren't expecting to see much of the President prior to the November election. This could all now change as we finally have a leader here who can inspire and motivate the Republican rank-and-file. We are grateful to Alan Keyes for stepping up to the plate for Illinois Republicans.

But Ambassador Keyes can't do it alone and it will take all of us putting forth our best effort to get it done.
Here are the details for Sunday:

Date: Sunday, August 8th
Time: 2:00 PM
Place: Wellington Restaurant
2121 S. Arlington Heights Road
Arlington Heights

Kris / August 6, 2004 3:52 PM

Oh, that's funny. If the email address can be trusted, the previous mini-press release in support of Keyes was posted by the Republican Young Professionals Illinois, who still have a petition on their website to "Bring Back JACK!"

Ramsin / August 6, 2004 5:15 PM

Alan Keyes is a staunch Conservative and lunatic, but he is also possessed of a brilliant analytic mind and debating prowess I have never seen anywhere else outside of academia (I will avoid the patronizing phrase "well-spoken"). We will be cheated if we don't get a host of debates between the two--I think the Obama campaign will want to avoid that, but if it happens, it could be epic.

J / August 6, 2004 5:49 PM

Sheer desperation. I hope he puts Sex Clubs back on the agenda. Illinois just doesn't have as much public humping as it used to... we live in sad, sad times.

Lyle from Lisle / August 7, 2004 12:12 AM

Chicago's very own AARON FREEMAN could sure make hay as a comedic duplicate Keyes. (Trust me, he's a semi-ringer.) Otherwise, comedy troupes, for your Obama/Keyes debate sketch, just use your two black people (if you're so lucky and diverse) . . .

Pete / August 7, 2004 10:53 AM

Function: noun
6 : a member of a group (as a minority) that is included within a larger group through tokenism; especially : a token employee

Function: intransitive verb
Inflected Form(s): pandered; pandering
: to act as a pander; especially : to provide gratification for others' desires

jgs / August 7, 2004 11:18 AM

I agree with Kris, Allen Keys are a tool and
pretty handy one at that; tightening, loosening etc. I don't know what useful purpose this Alan Keyes will serve aside from a fall guy. If defeat is the goal, he sure is a ringer.

db / August 7, 2004 1:25 PM

Where's Lar "America First" Daly when you need him?

Foopy / August 8, 2004 10:25 AM

Alan Keyes came to speak at my college shortly after the 2000 election. Back then I was a Nader supporter, but I found Keyes' rhetoric to be very well-reasoned because, as someone else mentioned, he actually uses a dialectic to argue--although him and someone like Rush Limbaugh may ultimately have the same beliefs, Keyes arrives at them through a logical series of premises and conclusions, whereas Rush--and most other politicians I know of, Democrat or Republican--do not.

That said, Keyes gave the first pro-life argument I've heard that was actually compelling, as well as some frighteningly well-reasoned arguments about the role of religion in American government.

The great thing about Keyes was that, for one thing, because of his style of argument, he *never* resorted to personal attacks, and because his arguments were all based on explicitly stated premises and conclusions, you could actually figure out exactly where and why you disagreed with something he said, as opposed to just getting pissed off at him.

Regarding the Hillary Clinton hypocrisy, in Keyes' defense, he did have this to say about his nomination:

"I do not take it for granted that it's a good idea to parachute into a state and go into a Senate race, so I think it has to be something where I would be convinced that that's not only consonant with federalism as I understand it, but that it's in the best interest of the state and of the nation."

So, at least he's aware of his potential hypocrisy and is publicly stating it, implying that he is reconsidering his disapproval of Hillary Clinton's actions in 2000.

Anyways, I'm no Republican, but I do feel that, because of the way he expresses his opinions intelligently, debate with him actually has the potential to be a very productive thing. In response to the Keyes nomination, Obama was quoted as saying "the people of Illinois want to see us attack the problems they and their families face rather than spending time attacking each other", and I think this is exactly what will happen if Keyes runs for Senate. I look forward to the confrontation.

Tommy Boy / August 8, 2004 7:37 PM

Well, well, well...,

It is simply a case of inflexible-on- social-issues-minded Republicans who want their minority voice heard over the din of pro-war/robust economic growth (as measured by GNP/GDP etc.) meatheads in both major American parties. Alan Keyes has made dollars and cents indeed, and I welcome his ideologically-driven rhetoric, hypocrisy (mosh pit jumping in 2000?), questionable reasoning (listen to the 1999 Republican debates again), and superstitions (our American? Creator's endowment, for instance...) to this year's candidates for national office in 2004.


jan / August 8, 2004 10:02 PM

when the clintons left the white house and hillary ran for the senate the republicans called her a "carpetbagger"...well now the republicans have the same thing with keyes... a CARPETBAGGER

Jonathan / August 8, 2004 10:18 PM

How much are they paying him for this?

Qwert / August 9, 2004 7:12 AM

Whatever happened to states being independent entities from one another? If we're going to accept having plug-and-play politicians from other states appear spending our money to decide for us how to live our lives, [b]how come we can't control who comes in by voting in senate races for other states?[/b]. What kind of institutional double standard is this?

The Grand Old Party couldn't find someone within the state of Illinois to run [i]against[/i] Barack Obama. They're not looking for someone to represent Illinois. They couldn't give a shit about the people of Illinois. They're looking for the state and electoral college to go pro Bush in November. They've picked someone like Keyes because he [b]is completely disposable[/b] after the presidential election. Even if Keyes wins and Bush loses, grass roots Illinois politics is that much more dead. The only thing The GOP really wants is to have Keyes much further away from D.C.

Steve / August 9, 2004 7:27 AM

Holy smokes! As part of the GOP's never-ending quest to invoke 9/11, Keyes brought it up in a clip I just heard on Morning Edition! When asked about the carpet-bagging thing, he went into some riff about how in the wake of 9/11, no one asked what state the rescue workers in NYC were from, so no one should question his residency....

Frank Hart / August 9, 2004 10:09 PM

I think he would make an excellent candidate and an outstanding senator.We need more people like him in this country and fewer sorry ass left wingers like his oppenant Chemenga barclay or what ever his name is.There are a lot of left wing ass holes who don't like him ,but that is there freaking problem.There should be more black guys like him,instead of the sorry ass Jesse Jacksons , Al
Sharptons and that over rated universal shoe shine boy Nelson Mandela and the like.

John / August 10, 2004 12:10 AM

Hypocrisy and lies = TM of the Dem's.. Many of you point out the long gone days of the carpet bagger but in you rush to do so.... you forgot all about; Hillary who is about as much a New York'er as I am. Please, we all foget that God is sovereign, and all men will kneel to his Son. Put no your hope in the things of this world. Such as medicare, and other government programs for leaders and governments will pass away. So put your hopes in the things of God. Worry about his indignation upon this country for it's Evil.
We murder babies for convenience sake, we perambulate through are lives as the living dead, in are sin we see not the peril of are way's. Thinking only of what we might gain; we vote are money not are morals. Envy, hate, lust, greed. These are our motivations: and like Perseus we slay are monsters for a pretence. But unlike him, only are hearts turn to stone, when we realize we are the MONSTER. But there is HOPE
for all people and this country. John 3:16

noname / August 15, 2004 8:01 AM

so stupid. since when does the Illinois GOP party get to take our choice away from us? We voted for Ryan in the primary and now can't vote for him in the election. Polls are stupid and he still might have cleared his reputation and won.

But an out of towner? are they kidding with this thing?
and Ditka? can you see that uneducated overgrown high school line backer in the US Senate debating policy with the likes of Senator Byrd? not bloody likely...

I'll have to vote for barak now. he may be a democrat but atleast he's made of quality stock.

Ms Liberty / October 12, 2004 11:16 AM

Keyes is a scary joke. I find myself shuddering and laughing at the same time. He's so creepy and ridiculous. The GOP is in its death throes.

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