Gapers Block has ceased publication.

Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
 Thank you for your readership and contributions. 


Friday, February 23

Gapers Block

Gapers Block on Facebook Gapers Block on Flickr Gapers Block on Twitter The Gapers Block Tumblr


Mindy / September 24, 2007 7:10 AM

i've been finding lots of loose coins lately, mostly in the changing area at work. seems that most people don't care when they lose a penny or dime. that's fine with me, though, because i will eventually profit from their lack of care.

mike / September 24, 2007 8:17 AM

I found some homemade whiskey in the back of my storage unit. According to the hand-written labels, they were bottled between 1984 and 1987.

JBJ / September 24, 2007 9:02 AM

My will to live--found it!

jasmine / September 24, 2007 9:05 AM

lost: earplug

found: cherry chapstick

ahn / September 24, 2007 9:22 AM


marisa / September 24, 2007 9:22 AM

my car

Allan / September 24, 2007 9:24 AM

I just found a scrap of paper that has "Junior" and "Eddies" lottery numbers on it. If I can scrounge up a dollar from somwhere I am going to play their numbers tonight.

Pedro / September 24, 2007 9:31 AM

Lost: Job
Found: Purpose

Sol / September 24, 2007 9:36 AM

Lost: A lens cap down a cliff in Rio Maggiore.
A really sweet pair of tweezers.
My wooden cutting board and pot holders.

That I am eligible for E.U. citizenship.

Lost and Found within the last 10-20 minutes:
My passport.
The cord that connects my camera to my computer, in my bag.

anne / September 24, 2007 10:34 AM

Not five minutes ago, I just found a sports watch I'd thought I'd lost a few months ago. It was in the dark corner of a bag I had no idea I'd even put it near, much less inside of.

I'd already gone out and bought a new watch, and a new band for it, so I knew it was just a matter of time before I found the old watch. Murphy's Law strikes again!

David / September 24, 2007 10:36 AM

I lost my will to work. Oops.

David / September 24, 2007 10:37 AM

I lost my will to work. Oops.

Lovie S. / September 24, 2007 10:41 AM

Lost: a nationally televised game against the Dallas Cowboys

Found: the nerve to dump Rex Grossman

Andrew / September 24, 2007 10:43 AM

Our ability to post!

Sorry everyone, we upgraded to MT4 over the weekend and have had lots of technical difficulties, including the temporary inability to publish Merge to the front page and an over-aggressive spam blocker in Fuel. Bear with us, everything should be back to normal soon.

Cliff / September 24, 2007 10:44 AM

I moved a couple of months ago, and I packed my iPod away in a box and can't find it now.

I know if I go buy a new one, I'll find the old one.

charlie / September 24, 2007 10:59 AM

I found that I can print remotely through Airport and my router to a non wireless printer!

Samantha / September 24, 2007 11:36 AM

Found: A woman's ring under my bed. (not mine) Proof that my ex from last year cheated on me, in my own apartment, while I was out of town.

carrie / September 24, 2007 12:02 PM

Lost- my mind. My CO2 detector was going off (Unit error, not a leak) and it kept going off even without the battery in it. I donít know if Iíve ever cursed at an inanimate object more. I swore, cried, reasoned, and considered taking a hammer to it. Seriously, it was torture. There are some things/noises in life that I canít handle and this is apparently one of them.

Found- my mind. After I cursed, cried and reasoned, I calmed down and figured out how to completely disconnect the thing. Itís currently sitting in my bag, not beeping. Phew

Lily / September 24, 2007 1:02 PM

My optimism when the Cubs won last night

mucifer / September 24, 2007 1:29 PM

i found a cell phone on the train and immediately looked for naughty photos in it. there weren't any. then i called the last number dialed, alerted the person i had found it and turned it into the lost and found. let that be a lesson to those who take and keep naughty photos and vids on their phone.

Jill / September 24, 2007 1:48 PM

I'm also finding a decent amount of change, which I tend to call the Bank (of the Streets of the City of Chicago). Thanks, Bank!

I found that I left the alarm clock on and the bedroom window open while I was out of town this weekend. Hope nobody heard horrible beeping for two hours at 6:25 AM on Sat/Sun. Oops.

sparky / September 24, 2007 2:53 PM

My dignity.

eep / September 24, 2007 3:19 PM

I haven't lost anything (that I know of yet), or found anything good.

But my fiance has found 2 iP0ds, both of which had names engraved on them. Both he and the lost & found tried to track these people down, but it's been 3 months and no luck, so he got them back. Now he has 2 iPods and a ton of music.

Joe / September 24, 2007 4:41 PM

It didn't happen to me...yet:

My co-worker - lost her wallet down the elevator shaft today. Yep, that's right - her little bi-fold wallet with her driver's licence, credit cards, and cash slipped out of her hands while stepping into the elevator, and - WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT - it fell through that 1"-wide gap in the floor!

A shot in a million. Of all the places it could have fallen....

spook / September 24, 2007 5:00 PM

Now this is a great question!

Last Saturday morning after closing down the local watering hole,your very own Spook, stumbled into the alley to ďwater the proverbial flowersĒ behind a long shuttered former womenís convent in Logan Square, that is now being
be "condo-ized".

Cleary one of the construction workers- who didnít know better- tossed out a huge four shelf antique, very ornate, teak kitchen cupboard with sectional glass on both doors!

I was sooo lucky to find it before the Mexican salvage trucks that roam the alleys!

It took me an hour, to place it on top of a near by plastic garbage can, carefully roll it home, and get it upstairs to my place.

But not before two cops stopped me in the alley.

The younger first cop was really cool about. I thought I was home free after I promised to return the garbage can when I was done.

But no, his older partner got out of the paddy wagon, examined my find with his flash light and suggested that my cupboard would make the perfect anniversary gift for his wife! He then looked at the doors of the paddy wagon as if confirming that MY cupboard would fit nicely.

He then remarked ďYou know technically you are stealing city property".

I stood my ground and said well actually Iím doing the city a favor by removing potentially dangerous debris that could cause a traffic accident by, recycling this cupboard into the home of a local hard working community minded property owning tax payer of city services including fire and police, who also attends his CAPS and Aldermanic meeting including one next week where the new director of the Police Office of Professional Standards is coming to be introduced to the Logan Square community.

Yea I made up the Aldermanic Office of Professional Standards stuff up but I was Not going to have my cupboard stolen by this cop!

The crooked cop, shook his head in defeat said ďyea, and donít forget to buy some tickets to the Policemenís ball", got into his truck and took off, but not before turning on the search light to see if another cupboard could be found. Ha. I had the only one!

fluffy / September 24, 2007 5:05 PM

lost... faith

Cinnamon / September 24, 2007 5:21 PM

Lost: My patience.

Carlotta / September 24, 2007 10:43 PM

Lost: My Marshall Field's (yes, Marshall Field's) charge card.

Found: Temple Grandin's "Animals In Translation: Using the Mysteries of Autism to Decode Animal Behavior," the book I said I was going to read this past summer if I could find it.

I'm in the process of (possibly) moving out where I've lived for 25+ years, so I'm sure I'll find more treasures. Will keep you posted!

J D / September 24, 2007 11:51 PM

I found a pair of NICE shades. And lost all of my personal credit info when some AHOLE broke into my car. And took all of my bank info, CC bills, and resumes.

And an axe.

Heads up Lincoln Parkites.

A few years ago, the PO-lice took a lot of stuff from me.
Cell phone, SMALL pocket knife (2"), radar detector, GPS, crap from my car (CD'S).
NOT ONE THING was returned.
All items were listed as "missing from evidence"
They will f**k you any chance they get.
(I was pulled over doing 27 in a 25.)
I was ALONE, doing 27 in a 25. I got searched, AT GUNPOINT. They found NOTHING, BUT they promised that i would go down on drug charges if i contested the ticket.

I STILL love chicago.


_G O ____C U B S_

Hal / September 25, 2007 9:36 AM

Lost and found: My iPod mini. This was my spare, as I had "lost" it once before in the pocket of a coat I forgot I had worn and replaced it. Last week, it apparently fell into a Crate & Barrel box with an item I was exchanging. The nice folks there found it as they were breaking down the box. Fortunately, it was one of the early models where they put the name and phone number on it. So, they called me before I even knew it was missing.

Lost for good: my claddagh and Frank Lloyd Wright rings. Based on when I lost them (at two different times), I assumed that they were under something in the bedroom, even though I hadn't seen them in years. We moved a few months ago and I figured they'd turn up then, when literally everything in the house was taken out of the way. No such luck.

Hal / September 25, 2007 9:37 AM

Lost and found: My iPod mini. This was my spare, as I had "lost" it once before in the pocket of a coat I forgot I had worn and replaced it. Last week, it apparently fell into a Crate & Barrel box with an item I was exchanging. The nice folks there found it as they were breaking down the box. Fortunately, it was one of the early models where they put the name and phone number on it. So, they called me before I even knew it was missing.

Lost for good: my claddagh and Frank Lloyd Wright rings. Based on when I lost them (at two different times), I assumed that they were under something in the bedroom, even though I hadn't seen them in years. We moved a few months ago and I figured they'd turn up then, when literally everything in the house was taken out of the way. No such luck.

Blagg the Axman / September 25, 2007 9:55 AM

I have found that betrayal lurks in the hearts of all men, even those that stood by your side on the field of battle. I have found that treachery knows no bounds, just as true evil never rests, and that menís weak hearts are easily swayed by the promise of glory and riches.

cliff / September 25, 2007 11:40 AM

Ah Spook, you remind me of something I found a couple of weeks ago.

I was taking out the garbage and someone had left a perfectly good wood-smoker in the alley behind my apartment. I ran back up stairs to get a broom to knock off the spiderwebs and to clean it out.

By the time I got back (seriously less than 2 minutes), a junky truck had pulled up, and a guy was tossing the metal stuff in the back. The wood-smoker was sitting back there and when I pointed at it and told him that I wanted it, he shrugged, looked at me and said "No habla."

I felt a little weird going around, climbing into his truck and taking it out, so I let him roll off with it. All the while crying inside over all the delicious, smoked meats that I will have to wait for...

peta / September 25, 2007 1:07 PM

Lost - Lint-free clothes and furniture

Found - Fluffy the cat

Amanda / September 25, 2007 2:01 PM

Lost and Found: My driver's license, library card, and bank card. I lost them on the #50 Damen bus (fell out of a shallow pocket). All of which were mailed back to me by a good Samaritan. Karma: don't leave home without it!

Nuke LaLoosh / September 25, 2007 2:19 PM

Lost: my cynicism about baseball; possibly all goo sense.

Found: my belief in the Cubs!

Wish I could lose: the sound of "Go Cubs Go" playing in my head . . .

d. / September 25, 2007 2:37 PM

i wish i had something to say here! i've thought, and thought, and thought, but i can't think of a single thing i've lost or found.


spandex / September 25, 2007 2:45 PM

I found that Spook is full of it.

Anonymous / September 25, 2007 4:14 PM

Lost: guilt & inhibitions.

Found: debauchery & infidelity.

Just for one night. It was fun.

bucky / September 25, 2007 4:43 PM

circular metal objects.

some call them washers.

all the time. on the ground. calling to me.

can't resist picking them up and putting them in my pocket. i have a big cup of them at home. shiny, rusty, big, small. i love them all.

annie / September 25, 2007 4:55 PM

Lost (read stolen) my bike, last week.

Found a really nice digital camera that takes much nicer photos than the one that cost me $350. So now, the boyfriend and I each have one. (and he bought me a new bike last night...gush)

bean / September 25, 2007 5:16 PM

I've lost my cynicism.
I've found a desire to smoke whatever Cliff wants to bring over--this is not a joke. I've got a very nice bbq/grill/smoker set-up.
Cliff: get yourself some charcoal/hickory chips/whatever and come on over. We'll need to figure out contact info discreetly.
Again, this is not a joke or a solicitation for sex &/or drugs. I'm honest--I'll cook your food for you!

Robin / September 25, 2007 6:52 PM

Lost: my sense of where I'm going with my career.

Found: a wonderful hubby who I've been married to for a year.

anon / September 25, 2007 9:42 PM

Found: my soulmate.

Judy / September 25, 2007 10:08 PM

this will sound cheesy, but it's actually completely true:

I found my long lost true love
(from seven years ago...)

because of this, I have lost a lot of sleep this week

and I might lose him to his own fear of the infinite

Michael / September 25, 2007 11:12 PM

Lost: my bike's front tire (that's what I get for leaving it at school overnight)

Found: Wonderful new friends that I've met at this new campus

JK / September 26, 2007 12:28 AM

Found: Over the past several years from time to time, 4 or 5 winning scratch off lottery tickets in the local Jewel or Dominick's parking lot. Either $2 or free ticket.
The discarded lottery ticket is the 21st Century answer to the 20th Century cigerette butt.
Lost: My ablitly to refute random reinforcement.

Fear of the Infinite / September 26, 2007 9:52 AM

I recently found Judy's soulmate (see above).

No worries; you can keep him.

Spook / September 26, 2007 9:56 AM

You fool!

Please, please donít tell me it was a cast iron wood smoker!

How could you let it out of your site! Why didnít use every bogus threat including claiming to be The Director of the United States Immigration Services, General of the Minute Men, and Satan himself!?!

Do you know what beef jerky, ribs, turkey and bacon taste like in a real smoker! heck you can smoke a ham for a week in one of those!
As opposed to the standard H2O smokers sold at Home Depot for sixty dollars!

No way would I have let that Smoker fall into his clutches to be melted down into useless molten!

As a Smoker Master I put a curse on you! May youíre smoked food forever taste like liquid smoke!

jaymce / September 26, 2007 10:35 AM

i think i just found my love of hockey again!

Tonic / September 26, 2007 10:55 AM

Lost: the woman I was meant to be with

Nothing I will ever find after will matter....

GB store

Recently on Fuel

Urban Ethos [26]
What is Chicago's "urban ethos"?

Cool Glass of... [16]
What're you drinking?

Supreme Decision [22]
What's your reaction to the Supreme Court's decision on the Affordable Care Act?

Taking it to the Streets [20]
Chicago Street Fairs: Revolting or Awesome?

I Can Be Cruel [9]
Be real: what is the meanest thing you've ever done?

View the complete archive

GB Store

GB Buttons $1.50

GB T-Shirt $12

I ✶ Chi T-Shirts $15