Gapers Block has ceased publication.

Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
 Thank you for your readership and contributions. 


Saturday, March 2

Gapers Block

Gapers Block on Facebook Gapers Block on Flickr Gapers Block on Twitter The Gapers Block Tumblr


Carlos / February 20, 2004 6:59 AM

I plan on getting one.

If I win...that would be cool!

Ian / February 20, 2004 8:15 AM

Nope, instead I'm going over to a friends house for penny, dime, and quarter poker night.

Onid / February 20, 2004 9:00 AM

Whenever the jackpot gets this huge I buy a one dollar quick pick ticket. That's all. I figure if I win with that it was meant to be.

Craig / February 20, 2004 9:06 AM

"The chances of winning Mega Millions are 1 in 135 million."

The Lottery: tax for the statistically handicapped.

jennifer / February 20, 2004 9:11 AM

Yes I am buying a ticket, and I've already got 4.35 mil of my winnings mentally spent.

jenny / February 20, 2004 10:02 AM

I deserve to win, because I buy one every week.
That's good logic, right?
I do, though. So does my father...we get very strategic about what we'll do with the $ if win, and Mom just shakes her head in disgust at her two dreamers.

stephen / February 20, 2004 11:22 AM

Of course. When I win, I'm going to buy an island, build up an army, develop weapons of mass destruction, then hide them when the US comes searching for them. Except when they come to 'detain' me I'll be at the Four Seasons, not a spider hole, baby. Then I'll invade Hawaii and blame it on North Korea.

Shylo / February 20, 2004 11:34 AM

Why buy a lotto ticket when I can buy a yummy, delicious Clark bar? I ask you this!

Pete / February 20, 2004 11:37 AM

I think I'll buy a lottery ticket AND a Clark Bar! At least one of them will pay off. Thanks for the idea, Shylo!

shechemist / February 20, 2004 2:20 PM

fuck yeah I bought a ticket. hell I bought two.

since I am unemployed by choice, I have no boss to say "fuck you" to. I love school, and think I will love being a nurse (trauma nursing). I like to think that I would still go to school and hold down a job, even if only part-time.

the few things I know I would do are things I want to do now. I want to fund my chatty, at times annoying, scratch poor, friend's education. she has a 4 year old, a shitty retail job, a house cleaning business that hasn't gotten off the ground in the past 6 months (ps anyone looking for a house cleaner? I think she is underpriced. she is honest to a fault, chatty as hell, and works hard. drop me an e-mail with a phone number and I will hook you up), a shitty marriage, a desire to also be a nurse, and a huge fucking fear of going back to school hile trying to keep her family together. I wouldn't give her a wad of cash, but I would set up a trust that would require her to make progess in school in exchange for freeing her from worrying about how she was going to pay for both school, her son's life, and her life. truth be told, when ever the lotto is over 5 million, I buy a ticket thinking about her.
I'd set the same arrangement up for my slacker 28 year old brother. I'd fund him getting off his ass, get some mental help, and get a self supporting job so he wasn't dependent on my rat bastard father.

when my rat bastard father's health starts to decline, I'd pay what ever it took so that he was both comfortable, and far far fucking far away from me.

on the shallow side, I would get a personal trainer, a gym membership, facials every two weeks, and eat only organic food for the rest of my freaking life. oh and I would give a stupid amount of money to the world's best dogwalker cuz not only does she leave me great fucking notes about her walks with my great dane (and my aged boxer in her last year and a half of life), she cried with me as my betty boop boxer's health declined, she has cleaned up when my great dane's bowels exploded over the stress of betty boop's decline, and she as put up with me, and my shitty housekeeping for 2 years without once making a snide comment. I still pay for her services while I am not working cuz my dane is so attached and frankly, so am I.

I have no idea what I would do with the remaining cash. probally at the MAC counter and smoking pot.

daruma / February 20, 2004 3:34 PM

Oh most definitely. It doesn't matter what the odds are, does it, because someone is going to win! But you can't win it unless you're in it.

crowly / February 20, 2004 4:10 PM

the guy who likes to spew the odds, craig?

yeah, people have a better chance of getting struck by lightening twice before winning the lottery, but show me how many people in illinois who have been struck by lightening twice? there have been over 600 lottery winners in illinois since it's inception.

the thing about the lottery is: someone's got to win eventually, and that's a variable that needs to be taken into account.

try not be such a hypocrite . . . hating the rich while wanting to be one . . .

Kenan / February 20, 2004 7:36 PM

I already pay my stupidity tax on cigarettes.

GB store

Recently on Fuel

Urban Ethos [26]
What is Chicago's "urban ethos"?

Cool Glass of... [16]
What're you drinking?

Supreme Decision [22]
What's your reaction to the Supreme Court's decision on the Affordable Care Act?

Taking it to the Streets [20]
Chicago Street Fairs: Revolting or Awesome?

I Can Be Cruel [9]
Be real: what is the meanest thing you've ever done?

View the complete archive

GB Store

GB Buttons $1.50

GB T-Shirt $12

I ✶ Chi T-Shirts $15