Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
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Thursday, January 16
How about the "James R. Thompson/Center"?
British Petroleum Beach
how 'bout the patronage hacks pay for all the shit they've already got their names on? Daley Plaza, the Thompson Center, all those stupid "open tolling by blagojevich" signs....
Frank Calabrese Memorial City Hall.
Just kidding! Really! Don't put a hit on my head!
I think to help the CTA, each L stop should be sponsored. We could even get the CTA guy to make the stop announcements into commercials. Examples: "This is Lake, brought to you by Dunkin' Donuts. America Runs on Dunkin'. Now with 14 locations in the loop." "This is Rosemont, brought to you by Ikea — Affordable solutions for better living."
And then we can move on to other things, such as the Verizon Wireless North Avenue Beach, the Revlon Montrose Harbor, the McDonald's Grant Park. And if we're still in need, we could sell sponsorships to streets: "Home Depot Diversey Pkwy." "Jewel-Osco Western Ave." "Fox Sports Chicago Ave." When we're really desperate, then we can go for naming the city-owned buildings.
The Viagra Triangle brought to you by Viagra.
It's the little triangle of land where State and Rush come together.
Brian, I've been saying the South Loop CTA stops should be sponsored by Dunkin' Donuts, since they have the Pink and Orange lines right together.
Gapers Block37
I think that I am simultaneously horribly repulsed and strangely attracted to the idea of naming everything in the city.
How bout Lincoln Park?
The UPS Brown Line.
The United Arab Emirates Dan Ryan Expressway
Halliburton Soldier Field
Andrew, nice. And Clinton (pink and green) can be sponsored by Izod. Instagentrification!
The Tropicana Orange Line
The Folger's 100% Colombian Arabica Bean
The Chicago City Council Chambers, sponsored by the National Pork Producers Council
Ooh, here's a new opportunity for sponsorship... get people with the same last names as the expressways to give big chunks of money and have them renamed for them! The Barbara Edens Expressway! The Ted Kennedy Expressway! The George Ryan Expressway!
Hey folks, don't forget that the City doesn't own the CTA. We're talking about *other* naming opportunities.
True, the city doesn't own the CTA, the elevated structure or stations (that was more an idea to help them, but whatever). However, the city does own the subway tunnels and stations — just not the tracks. So they could still do sponsored stations in the subways.
The city doesn't own the expressways, either, so I guess my plan for that is moot.
I stand behind my original plan: Beaches, harbors, buildings, parks & streets.
And if we get really desperate, we can sell advertising on individual street light poles, much like the community banners up on some of them now, except more like vertical billboards.
My guess is there's at least a few million light poles in this city. $2,000 per pole per month for ad space could add up. Well, sure, some are more attractive to advertisers than others, such as intersections and the more major thoroughfares, but this is something that could actually work.
And actually, there again, the rate could be variable depending upon the street. For instance, poles on N. Clark St. or W. Belmont would fetch more per month than, say, N. Sheffield because there's more traffic.
Hmmm. I need to call my alderman. This is something that could seriously work and they wouldn't have to raise city taxes!
Brian, that's a great idea!
STOP
for 10% off at Filene's Basement!
YIELD
to your need for new shoes at Payless!
NO U-TURN
unless you're headed back to American Mattress for additional savings!
Anything related to a personal hygiene type product would get my vote, whatever the structure:
Tampax Park
Kleenex Center
Kotex Expressway
Preparation H Highway
Beano Field
Gas-X Skyway
Bengay Airport
The Ziploc Clean Up After Your F***ing Dog Sidewalk.
The GLAD Clean Up After Your F***ing Dog Sidewalk.
The Hefty Clean Up After Your F***ing Dog Sidewalk.
Mayor Daley, please sell my neighborhood.
I'm thinking that selling the "L" lines would face the least resistance, particularly if it helped stave off the monthly dooms day scenarios (some borrowed from others above):
- Big Red Line
- UPS Brown Line
- JetBlue Line
- Tropicana Orange Line
- Victoria's Secret Pink Line
- Yellow Cab Line
- Jolly Green Giant Line
- "Purple Cow" by Seth Godin Line
judging by the ads already on the light poles, the city should just start selling weight loss pills and herbal viagra.
Ya know, yesterday afternoon after I posted my idea, I went down to the loop to run a few errands. It was then that I noticed there are already ads on the light poles! I noticed it at LaSalle & Washington. But they are not consistently on every lightpole throughout the city. So, I think the city's marketing department needs to step up the campaign. We've got hundreds (thousands?) of streets and a few million light poles. Get crackin' city hall!
It is beyond pathetic that our city governments feel they must sell the rights to city landmarks, buildings, images, brands, etc in an effort to raise money to shore up the budget. How about they hire someone to come in and teach fiscal and budget management?
I hate to think that at some point in my life everything will be "Brought to you by..."
"City Hall, brought to you by Procter and Gamble. Cuz you're going to need everything we got to deal with all the shit they want you to swallow."
Just sell the naming rights of the entire city to one company and get it over with...
"CHICAGO ... For Dummies"
Linkin Park?
God forbid.
Betty Lauren Maltice Correctional Center?
Stroger "Law" School?
George Ryan CDL Licensing Facility?
And...
Drew Peterson's, Learning Annex class ,"OJ, and how to do your best to get away with murder.
-- the Kmart blue light special police surveillance camera
-- a slight revision for the carousel in Lincoln Park Zoo : AT&T Customer Service Merry-Go-Round
Chicago City Hall, Brought To You By Development Interests.
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Andrew / November 26, 2007 12:22 AM
See here for background.
The obvious: Old Navy Pier.
The less obvious: Navy Pier 1.