Gapers Block has ceased publication.

Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
 Thank you for your readership and contributions. 


Thursday, February 29

Gapers Block

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sky / December 5, 2007 11:20 AM

My bonus check, like yesterday. If I don't get it, no one is getting presents.

lips / December 5, 2007 11:30 AM

a really good kiss

kate / December 5, 2007 11:48 AM

The money my ex owes me.

Not bloody likely, but a girl can dream.

snuh / December 5, 2007 11:51 AM

sex with Rich.

paul / December 5, 2007 11:51 AM

No delays on my flight out of OHare when I'm going home for the holidays.

Hell, if we're wishing for the impossible, I'm might as well expect a first class upgrade (or at least not to be stuck in an aisle seat between 2 guys fatter than me) and a Maserati rental car waiting for me when I get to Newark.

And a pony.

sexy rexy / December 5, 2007 12:05 PM

Respect. That and a PS3 or an Xbox 360.

rerun / December 5, 2007 12:13 PM

an iphone

CC / December 5, 2007 12:14 PM

The feeling that all my relatives, after seeing me show up alone yet again for the festivities, have given up on me and I am officially the family spinster.

CC / December 5, 2007 12:16 PM

The above is a reverse wish, by the way: something I'd love NOT to get, but probably will.

Mark / December 5, 2007 12:32 PM

Accepted to grad school.

Carrie / December 5, 2007 12:38 PM

I would like...
-new boots
-new bra (ladies and gentlemen, mostly gentlemen who haven't bought one for a girl, they're expensive)
-no flight delays and getting an earlier flight home
-couch I've been eyeballing for almost a year
-a dancing bear in a tutu. Like a live bear, none of this stuffed bs. Sadly I just said with a lot of passion outloud, at work... "god that's all I want for my birthday! A dancing bear in a tutu!" I will take one for Christmas though

annie / December 5, 2007 12:46 PM

a new foot. Had surgery on halloween and my bum wheel still isn't working right. and a puppy.

Baldeesh / December 5, 2007 12:51 PM

A yarn ball winder and swift.

It's not something I really, really need, but it would be nice to be able to wind those hanks of yarn in a way that doesn't drive me or my cats crazy.

flange / December 5, 2007 12:55 PM

like all guys, a threesome.

a / December 5, 2007 1:02 PM

job security.

and a puppy.

Kelly / December 5, 2007 1:04 PM

A new job that doesn't suck away at my soul.

skafiend / December 5, 2007 1:11 PM

A buttload of money to repair my car (tie rods, shocks, new tires, left turn signal is sketchy...)

...or, a new car (same model, Jeep Wrangler, black or dark green, fat ass tired)

...a laptop that doesn't suck

and finally, her back again...

peta / December 5, 2007 1:15 PM

That my beau's daughter will visit before his surgery.

roderick / December 5, 2007 1:38 PM

An i(Pod|Mac|Phone).

A Nikon d(80|200|300)

Money: $1(0|00|,000|0,000|00,000)

Cents / December 5, 2007 1:43 PM

My school loans paid off.

Jason / December 5, 2007 1:59 PM

Peace of mind

mucifer / December 5, 2007 2:04 PM

as a gay man, i wish to slow down on the three-ways...somebody please block my cock! if the three-ways just refuse to stop, i GUESS i'll take an iphone.

Jeremy / December 5, 2007 2:28 PM


milena / December 5, 2007 2:54 PM

enough money to put towards my looming credit card debt that is shrinking--but way to slowly for my liking

Hal. / December 5, 2007 3:24 PM


1) Instant debt-forgiveness for my student loans.
2) Fancy-pants new car without insurance worries.
3) 6 week vacation (including the PTO at work) to India and Asia. Or, a spot on the The Amazing Race. Close enough.

Gift-type stuff I didn't ask for because of inferred budgets (i.e. theoretically possible):
1) A TiVo HD box & HD cable service.
2) A class or two at The Chopping Block.
3) Anything from the rest of the stuff on my Amazon Wish List - I put a whole ton of stuff up there so that I'm at least partially surprised by my parents. They've gotten really bad about treating Christmas gifts like a gift card or check - letting me know the exact budget and to pick things within that budget. It was getting really cold and mechanical. So, I just throw anything I can think of in there and wait to see what happens.

I'd rather get something cool that someone put some thought into, which can be super cheap. My favorite from last year was an Oscar Wilde action figure.

K. / December 5, 2007 3:26 PM

a boyfriend and/or 25k.

moody / December 5, 2007 3:34 PM

- a promotion (ka-ching + respect)
- a humble, trustworthy, respectful man

zoenotcool / December 5, 2007 3:42 PM

- world peace (not really kidding)
- brick Chicago-style bungalow in a nice neighborhood, ready-to-move-in condition
- Venta humidifier/air-washer (fancy German thingie)
- a whole new wardrobe
- both members of my family to get large holiday/year-end bonuses

to whoever said "peace of mind" - I AGREE!

lizzy / December 5, 2007 3:47 PM

Someone to pay the electrician and carpenter for the work I'd really love to see done in my condo.

m / December 5, 2007 3:55 PM

id love an external harddrive and also a new mac. my pc is about to kick the bucket and im sick of pcs.

other than that, i'm hoping my entire family will get along for the entire 5 days we have together.

lmy / December 5, 2007 3:57 PM

thermal pj's.
a set of 600 thread count sheets.
my ex-boyfriend when he was a good guy, my best friend, the love of my life - the holiday will be so cold without him.

dan / December 5, 2007 5:00 PM

a decent wacom tablet.
possibly a Wii.
a region-free DVD player.
a copy of "Spaced" to go with afore-mentioned DVD player.

Leelah / December 5, 2007 5:39 PM

--My backpay from CPS (raise, National Board stipend plus interest since they've been holding our money since September)
--Random jewelry

amyc / December 5, 2007 6:08 PM


Olive / December 5, 2007 6:55 PM

Finding my match, the One, my other half, whatever corny title we can think of.

Judy / December 5, 2007 7:07 PM

for my love to finally ask me to be with him.

to be free

(the latter wish that then deletes the former wish because if I am free, then I am also free from this desire that haunts me)

jennifer / December 5, 2007 7:38 PM

no more anxiety while I am in grad school.

no more anxious dreams about weddings.

JasonB / December 5, 2007 7:53 PM

One of these.

michellemybelle / December 5, 2007 9:57 PM

I already know I'm getting squat from every possible angle, so I have no expectations and therefore would like one of everything, please.

And a new job. And a boyfriend. And new cookware.

regina / December 5, 2007 10:32 PM

A lucrative deal with a record company that has an artist who wants to record one of my songs, plus enough royalties to make up a signifcant part of my income for life. OH, yeah.

Carlotta / December 5, 2007 10:56 PM

--a $1,000 shopping spree at Women & Children First bookstore

--a personal trainer for my weight loss efforts

--an honest-to-god boyfriend. I am so damn tired of just "dating," if that's what it can be called

L / December 6, 2007 8:41 AM

More than anything, my mom.

Otherwise, of course there's the large, tax-free sum of cash and all of that, but I can't think of much I wish for.

I would like Annie's foot to get better, or replaced, whichever is easier.

2Cents. / December 6, 2007 9:15 AM

Why is it women want a boyfriend and men want expensive toys?

Or are the men just not saying anything?

skafiend / December 6, 2007 9:51 AM

To 2cents:
Hey, I said something along those lines. Look at my earlier list.

But some men may figure if they have the expensive toys the women will follow. It does have precedence...

new Christmas wish list addendum:

....I would also like the knowledge to know where all of these women looking for boyfriends are hanging out and if they're being pro-active about their desire to end their singleness

oh, and maybe a nice sweater, nothing too flashy or Cosby-ish.

Spook / December 6, 2007 9:54 AM

a African Spurred Tortoise

Mucky Fingers / December 6, 2007 11:17 AM

I'd like her to buy me clothes that I'd actually wear, not the trendy crap she'd rather see me in. Once again, that shit is going straight to the Salvation Army!

To the ladies of Gapers Block, I sincerely hope you find your one true love. If you do find him, for God's sake, don't try to change him.

d. / December 6, 2007 11:38 AM

well, then, i could use a girlfriend. somebody grounded and encouraging and smart, to make up for all the things i am not! and yeah, it's cause the guys aren't saying anything or they already have a girlfriend.

also, i keep thinking and thinking and thinking about something i want, but there's nothing. it's all just stuff. stuff gets used and discarded. maybe a giant robot. with laser beams. that dispenses beer and whiskey. yeah.

Jill / December 6, 2007 11:45 AM

time (to read the many magazine subscriptions I asked for).

new windows in my rental apt. so that the wind will stop blowing through my bedroom.

Annie, I hope your foot gets better too!

Y A J / December 6, 2007 12:12 PM

I'd like the Gov to sign the BIMP bill and I'd like for Springfield to solve this transit mess.

...just dreaming...

flange / December 6, 2007 12:13 PM

yes. apparently there's sufficient interest in a gb fuel singles night. we have nothing but an hour or two of our lives to lose.

Bill V / December 6, 2007 12:15 PM

A new iPod. Mine is super-old and does not hold enough music. Would like a new TV also, that will probably come next xmas.

Bill V / December 6, 2007 12:17 PM

A new iPod. Mine is super-old and does not hold enough music. Would like a new TV also, that will probably come next xmas.

Andrew / December 6, 2007 12:28 PM

You know, the suggestion of a GB singles night comes up every so often. Are you guys *really* serious? Because we could put something together if you are. But if we're going to go to the trouble of setting something up, I'd want to be sure more than, like, five people are going to show up.

lmy / December 6, 2007 12:33 PM

i'll go. i need to get over my ex and make some new friends. let's plan it.

annie / December 6, 2007 12:59 PM

Thank you L and Jill.

Jill, good call on the windows. Our windows are awful, our apartment is freezing and all the down blankets we have aren't helping matters much. So I guess I really want new landlords and while I'm at it, new neighbors.

Mike / December 6, 2007 1:18 PM

What I really want is a better vacuum and maybe a deeper understand of what all my friends and family want.

skafiend / December 6, 2007 1:19 PM

A GB Singles Night?!?

It's a Festivus MIRACLE!!!

(oh, and if 0nly five people DID show up, I would most likely be No. 5, if you catch my drift...)

typediva / December 6, 2007 1:29 PM

$300,000 so I can pay off the mortgage on my condo.

And for mom to stop asking "When are you giving me grandchildren?" Too bad Target doesn't stock them.

3Cents. / December 6, 2007 1:30 PM

I would do a singles night. Or just a night. Just to meet/greet.

I would say why not?

You can make it part of your new years resolutions to get out there...

....and an iphone, I want want.

brownpants / December 6, 2007 2:14 PM

i love how these polls evolve.

i would add to the list, but because it would probably be electronic, i'll save you the boredom.

we move to chicago in 1.5 weeks though, so that's about the best present i can think of at the moment.

leah / December 6, 2007 2:17 PM

I really want a new camera. Some robbers came & took that & my computer. Creeps.

I'm surrpised that even more than my dear, sweet iBook, I miss my leedle camera.


jmg / December 6, 2007 3:21 PM

I would be delighted with a subscription to the Card Society Card of the Month Club (yes, really):

And even more thrilled if someone secretly stalked eBay to fill all the gaps in my Everyday Food collection. But this wish is just too nerdy to make aloud.

solaana / December 6, 2007 4:25 PM

I want two Arne Jacobsen egg chairs. Color: white. Maybe orange.

ironman / December 6, 2007 4:49 PM

-improved ability to make small talk
-confidence with girls
-a great girlfriend (preferably one that makes my ex jealous)
-eames chair
-aston martin DB9

Anon / December 6, 2007 5:37 PM

I asked my wife not to get me one, but secretly I really, really want a Wii.

marie s. / December 6, 2007 7:40 PM

A new house in Andersonville, and a doggie. Really not gonna happen.

something of a secret / December 6, 2007 8:38 PM

I don't think I really want this, but part of me thinks that I do.

flips / December 6, 2007 9:28 PM

"moody (December 5, 2007 3:34 PM) said:
- a promotion (ka-ching + respect)
- a humble, trustworthy, respectful man"

--heck yeah, sign me up too.

Cindy / December 7, 2007 4:36 AM

My roommates cats to stop scratching me any chance they get?


To make it through another year in Chicago without desperately wanting to get as far away from here as possible.


an iPhone.

Despite my lack of presence here on ye olde Gapers Block, the internet is awkward and attempting to bring it into real life would likely be even more awkward. Just a thought.

printdude / December 7, 2007 8:43 AM

A new set of irons.
A PS3.
A government that governs instead of posturing.
B.Obama to take the Iowa Caucases by the throat.
To See "allen" unmasked.
Prior knowledge of a long-shot victory.

Damn, I want a lot.

JAH / December 7, 2007 9:01 AM

Singles night? Sign me up. I kinda hope that only 5 people show up. Less competition.

irisheyes / December 7, 2007 9:48 AM

I am hoping to finally hear "I love you"

jennifer / December 7, 2007 11:08 AM

to irisheyes: I just heard the words from the boy a few weeks ago. it was painful to get to, but lovely to hear.

good luck and lots of patience to you!

Jill / December 7, 2007 11:32 AM

I second printdude's wish to see "allen" unmasked!

CC / December 7, 2007 12:12 PM

But not too unmasked, yaknowwhati'msayin?

Allan / December 7, 2007 1:04 PM

My lottery money is just about gone, so more lottery money and perhaps a bit of butt sex. Or any kind of sex for that matter preferably with a woman... a reasonably attractive woman.

Spook / December 7, 2007 2:07 PM

For Allan to answere some of the questions he missed, like.........

" What's on your Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa shopping list this year?"!

KevinB / December 7, 2007 3:51 PM

A week in Aruba or winning the megamillions tonight...I'll take either!


fluffy / December 7, 2007 3:52 PM

a xmass bonus at work,

Peace - in my heart, my head, and in the world.

Spook / December 7, 2007 4:16 PM

What happend Fluffitos,
did "M" meet its maker? You didn't include iM/it in your ruminations,but I'm, sure you're in Allans ;-)

Steven / December 7, 2007 6:46 PM

Some GOOD news. Could be something big, like Bush dropping dead from brain aneurysm so we don't have to suffer through his last year in office (oh, wait... he doesn't HAVE a brain). Could be something small, like a 5 cent drop in the price of a pound of coffee. I just want to have some GOOD news to wake up to. Tired of all this BAD, BAD, BAD crap day in and day out.

mike / December 7, 2007 6:53 PM

Hillary Clinton losing the Iowa and (decidedly less so) NH caucus, thus giving me a little reaffirmation that we still like in a semi-democracy and not a series of pre-dictatorship dynasties.

Amanda / December 7, 2007 8:20 PM

The complete disintegration of the Republican Party and the Christian Right.

doodle / December 7, 2007 9:30 PM

Strength to leave my boozehound boyfriend. That'll also mean paying more in rent for a crappy apartment or living with strangers. Oh, vicious circle!

G. / December 8, 2007 12:19 AM

A letter from my ex-boyfriend. Or a Christmas card. Or a freakin' post-it note. Anything to let me know he hasn't totally forgotten about me.

Otherwise, I'd settle for a new purse.

lindzray / December 8, 2007 8:46 AM

a boyfriend


a bottle of Jack Daniels

I'll take either(or both). As long as one will keep me warm at night and not upset me in the morning!

Tom / December 8, 2007 9:52 AM

A day off would be nice.

Tortor / December 8, 2007 10:32 AM

a job worthy of this damn degree i've had for a year now... or just a job in general

a condo

my boyfriend and i to be in the same dwelling... or city... or state... or time zone again

a new knee (then i could go back to my old job/love of my life)

a digestive system that digests gluten

a really nice, sharp chef's knife

Dixie / December 8, 2007 3:37 PM

I got rid of an crappy boyfriend (4+years) a few months ago. He made me feel so little. I was scared of taking care of myself, bills etc.

And you know what?
I'm okay.

Staying with someone who makes you unhappy because you are freaked about how yer gonna 'make it' is a terrible reason. It's scary and jumping into the unknown, but it's so worth it!

I wish for this feeling of freedom to continue for me and start for you.

adam / December 8, 2007 5:09 PM

OK, I've got something nobody else has said yet.


Emily / December 8, 2007 11:29 PM

Leah - I want my stolen camera back too :(

Barring that...a bottle of perfume that I haven't been able to justify buying for myself (cause it's $100+), some good absinthe, a pair of gorgeous boots, and conversations with him.

Oh, and for Annie's foot to get better.

Christine / December 9, 2007 11:23 AM

Adam stole mine... I really want a Theremin as well... but since he already said it i'll go with... i got nothing. Just give me his Theremin!

taj / December 9, 2007 1:38 PM

ditto on peace of mind.
or just peace in general.

marie s. / December 9, 2007 2:11 PM

To Doodle:
I'm with Dixie. I was in a crap relationship for a year, and trust me, getting out on your own is the best thing you can do.

Go live with a roommate for 6 months, get a job at Starbucks on the weekends, whatever it takes. The hit you're taking to your self-worth right now is not worth staying with a jerk.

Best to you. ms

adam / December 9, 2007 7:30 PM

Christine, we can BOTH get theremins! There are plenty for all.

I smell DUET!

irisheyes / December 11, 2007 11:46 AM

I got what I wanted...he said the L word Sunday night. *swoon*

Jill / September 1, 2011 10:33 AM

A ring from my BF instead of just another white gold diamond necklaces!

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