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Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
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Sunday, July 21

Gapers Block

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ron / March 13, 2006 10:03 AM

It's always a hoot

hench / March 13, 2006 10:05 AM

snakes on a plane.

MikeH / March 13, 2006 10:11 AM

The Simpsons, Southpark, Family Guy, The Big Lebowski and farts...

C-Note / March 13, 2006 10:17 AM

Arguing with strangers about inspiration.

Carrie / March 13, 2006 10:18 AM

-Animals that talk in commercials
-Dead Baby Jokes. Those pretty much always make me laugh.
-Roseanne reruns

Richard M. Daley / March 13, 2006 10:19 AM

The fact that I keep getting re-elected is hilarious to me! I could drown kittens and I'd still get 75%!

mike-ts / March 13, 2006 10:21 AM

A spastic dog running on linoleum. The ta-da-da-ta-da-da of its nails as it tries to get traction to run, then it's a half second of worry when you see it not be able to corner and slide into the kitchen cabinet, but then the dog usually springs right back up with the wide eyed eager look and goes back into fun mode.

Spinning rims. I know that people spend hundreds on these to look cool, and they do for the first week, but then brake dust and grime, or bending, slows them down to different speeds or to a stop, then it reminds me of grandma's grocery cart, and nothing is as funny as looking at someone posing proudly behind the wheel of his pimped out ride as one of his spinners sits still or does the herky jerky while the other spinner works fine. Kind of like looking cool while walking down the hall with t.p. stuck to your shoe heel.

Unicycles. It's not ha-ha funny, but I can't watch a unicyclist go by and not be happy and smile.

Y A J / March 13, 2006 10:25 AM

My dog is so funny to me. A big yellow lab, he likes to lie on his back in the middle of the kitchen. The position makes his big, floppy cheeks fall back so it looks like he’s grinning. His big square head makes it easy for him to support this position so he just lies around like that, until I go get the camera. He also chases his tail and sometimes the flash of light from my ring or the coffee pot.

Not funny ha ha, but funny sad: the president and his cronies piling up big profits for themselves and massive debt and causalities for the country while cutting services to our most needy because he and his cronies convinced voters that the US would go to hell in a hand basket if they elected the other guy.

Erik / March 13, 2006 10:31 AM

• Curb Your Enthusiasm
• Coen Brothers movies
• George Carlin
• 1908
• Edie McClurg saying the f word

baldeesh / March 13, 2006 10:42 AM

Betting a guy that he couldn't lick his own elbow and then watching him try for 25 minutes.

I laughed so hard, I broke.

printdude / March 13, 2006 10:52 AM

® Get Fuzzy
© Boodocks
• That damn goofy yellow dog that Y A J speaks of above. That dog is hilarity in a fur coat, i tell you.

Funny is also the yellow dog's brown companion, leaping at a helium baloon tied to her collar. Dog goes up, baloon goes up. Snap goes the jaws, missing the baloon. Down goes dog, down goes baloon. Repeat for hilarious results.

printdude / March 13, 2006 10:57 AM

Hey Mike-t!
I think Spinning rims are funny too, especially when they are on cars that are XXX-tra crappy, like that 1989 Corolla that is down the block.

"Yes, I's like the $1500 rims on my $300 car, please."

Now if they put a subwoofer in, it would just shake all that rust right off!

charlie D / March 13, 2006 11:24 AM

boners...... are funny

Erica / March 13, 2006 11:25 AM

George Lopez
The Big Lebowski
Harvey Birdman
Lisa Lampanelli
Triumph the Insult Comic Dog
Conan O'Brien
Homer Simpson
Dane Cook

Flashback to the golden age of B96 for this one: Gillette's "Short D*ck Man" has made me smile today.

robin.. / March 13, 2006 11:26 AM

when people fall down or walk into things like glass doors or parking meters; not on purpose and not *really* causing lasting hurt. that's some hilarious action.

sherman / March 13, 2006 11:30 AM

The word "shrubbery"

Nuxrs / March 13, 2006 11:33 AM

Internet Dating Profiles.

baldeesh / March 13, 2006 11:42 AM

My mom's chihuahua viciously barking and lunging at lightning.

El Mofungo Loco / March 13, 2006 11:47 AM

The conversation of and endless mini-dramas enacted by little kids.

Matty / March 13, 2006 11:52 AM


Eamon / March 13, 2006 12:04 PM

Shows that mix comedy with tragedy. See "Rescue Me", "Boondocks", and the American version of "The Office".

Big purp sippa / March 13, 2006 12:24 PM

You know what's hilarious, there's this kid Jereme Rogers who is a pro skater from Boston, who came into the picture a couple years ago and was basically this skinny little squeaky-voiced white kid that all the other dudes picked on and tortured. All of a sudden he's in a magazine last month all grown up, with all these amazing tattoos including a dollar sign and an LA Dodgers logo, but the best part is this brand-new one that he got, which I honestly thought was a joke until I saw a photo... on the side of his neck, in cursive script: "I FEAR NO MAN"

oh dude I was dying

leah / March 13, 2006 12:26 PM

* Sarah Silverman.
* Home movies from 1992 featuring me in sweetass oversized t-shirts & bike shorts and my sister and her toothless grin eating a donut in the craziest way ever.

Ross / March 13, 2006 12:29 PM

people falling down.

slb / March 13, 2006 12:30 PM

everything david rees does

mr show


slb / March 13, 2006 12:32 PM

everything david rees does

mr show


and ditto: snakes on a plane. and upperdecking.

slb / March 13, 2006 12:32 PM

sorry for posting twice - server errors are funny too.

Amy / March 13, 2006 12:34 PM

Bill Murray.

My boyfriend when he swings his penis in my face trying to distract me while I'm on the phone.

Hotel guests who want me to get them into Gibson's at 8pm on a Saturday and throw me $2.

My friend Racheal who gets drunk very easily and says heyyyy all night and sometimes has a hard time getting her keys to work or pays the cab driver $40 on a $16 ride. (I'm laughing with her.)

The South Park episode with Russell Crowe "fightin round the world" because he has literally made Racheal cry...and the whole phone debacle in NY? God I wish that had been me!

Kevin / March 13, 2006 12:53 PM

Everyone is totally stealing my funny stuff. Boners, Get Fuzzy, all my shit is taken!

My dog is funny all the time, but especially when he is sitting down and he lets a fart. It always shocks him, and he turns around to investigate the strange sound that just came from the carpet.

The film Black Cat, White Cat is the funniest thing, like, EVAR.

steven / March 13, 2006 12:56 PM

America's Funniest Home Videos, the animal clips. Gets me every time.

Also, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. Damn he's funny.

The word nincompoop....and noodnik...

Shasta MacNasty / March 13, 2006 1:02 PM

1. My friend Ayana is ridiculously funny to me.

2. The time my friend Mari and I were singing along to a Mike Jones CD ("Back then, ho's didn't want me! Now I'm hot they all on me!" ad nauseum) at the office and she started choking. Hysterical.

3. The "Sexual Chocolate," and "She's Your Queen To Be" scenes from Coming To America.

4. A rare piece of stand-up of Eddie Murphy making fun of Larry Holmes. "THAT muthaf***** has NO sportsmanship."

5. And unfortunately, people falling.

Y A J / March 13, 2006 1:03 PM

Printdude’s chocolate lab running around the yard decimating a pumpkin. She thinks all gourds are evil and must be eliminated.

She also thinks all air should be freed, `cuz she attacks and shreds anything blown up. We eventually thought it was funny when she dove into my brother’s swimming pool, swam around frantically and methodically popped every single toy in less than a minute while we stood stunned at her speed and intensity of her hatred for pool toys. She’s not allowed at the pool anymore but the family still talks about that pool party massacre. A dog who hates gourds and all floating things is pretty funny.

Lody / March 13, 2006 1:23 PM

my dog, when she's chewing on one of her toys while my boyfriend's holding it and he's making faces at her. She cries and howls while she's chewing on it ... it makes me fall into hysterical giggles every time.

also when my boyfriend sings "i think i love you" to me...
he sings it like this "i fink i wuv you" - hilarity then ensues

waleeta / March 13, 2006 1:38 PM

"Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony."

Veronica / March 13, 2006 1:48 PM

The phrase, "hit by a bus." The actuality of it isn't so funny, but when someone says, "I almost got hit by a bus!" well that's freakin' hilarious.

van moxie / March 13, 2006 1:53 PM

People hitting their heads. A guy once nearly dumped me for laughing when he hit his head getting into my car. Falling, crotch shots, etc. - not a giggle. Hit your head on a door frame or getting out of bed, and I'm in "stitches." I split my head open when I was young, so it could be I just feel as if I've conquered that fear and am free to laugh at it.

And when cats forget to put their tongues back in after cleaning themselves. Walking around with their little pink tongues sticking way out is the surest way to get me to make fun of them.

jennifer / March 13, 2006 2:00 PM

homestar runner

and my sister repeating their animations word for word.

Leelah / March 13, 2006 2:04 PM

What doesn't make me laugh?
This week, it was repeatedly making a Scottish friend say, "if it's not Scottish, it's crap."

Andy / March 13, 2006 2:19 PM

MXC is funny to me. My son thinks it's great so yep, my humor is right at the level of a nine year old.

Bittersweet / March 13, 2006 2:23 PM


Back and forth.

Cheryl / March 13, 2006 2:41 PM

When I was a little kid, the guy with the huge-ass house next to my elementary school had his mailbox at the end of the driveway. This was really weird in Oak Lawn--your mailbox went on the house, beside the door. That was the rule, dammit. Only this guy didn't. The name on the mailbox was "Dr C R Butz." Which still cracks me up.

dan / March 13, 2006 2:54 PM

Ricky Gervais


The Daily Show and Colbert Report

Wait! Wait! Don't Tell Me!

(Incidentally, I was just listening to Wait! Wait! in my cube, and they were relating this story... The Democatic Governors Association met recently to go over their new Democratic message for the 2006 elections. Essentially, the Democratic strategy plan and call for unity. Nancy Pelosi got up and introduced the "six themes" of the Democratic party. Harry Reid got up after her, and talked about the "six themes" which were completely different than Pelosi's. They couldn't agree on what the strategy would be. I laughed my ass off, until I found out it was true. Now, I'm just inconsolably depressed.)

fluffy / March 13, 2006 3:13 PM

certain Strangers with Candy episodes

I was going to say when cats have their tongues sticking out a little - van moxie, you beat me to it.

The Office (British version)

My sister and I used to have beds that faced each other. We'd hang upside down from the beds so we were facing each other and we'd take turns wrapping a scarf around our nose/eyes, exposing only our mouths and chin. Then we'd start trying to have a normal conversation but seeing the upside down mouth talk was the funniest thing ever. Does anyone know what I'm talking about? I'm not good at describing stuff (English is my 2nd language)

There's a show on Mexican TV, where 2 schools compete against each other in races . One of the races involved the kids laying on the backs on the floor with their feet up and kicking. They're covered by a thick plastic sheet. A kid from the opposite team has to carry two pails of soapy water - over the plastic- and dump the water in a container while trying not to spill all the water in the pails , AND whle getting kicked from below by all the other kids- and whichever team is able to deliver the most water to the container wins. Watching the kids get kicked and sliding on the plastic is hilarious. This show is on Saturdays late mornings.

Clarke / March 13, 2006 3:19 PM


Duck Amuck. Best cartoon ever.

Who's Line Is It Anyway.

And, damn, someone beat me to Homestar Runner! "Why you lousy crap for crap." -Strong Bad

Alice / March 13, 2006 3:39 PM

Arthur: You know, it’s at times like this when I’m trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I’d listened to what my mother told me when I was young.
Ford: Why, what did she tell you?
Arthur: I don't know, I didn't listen.
-Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

VinceJose / March 13, 2006 3:46 PM

People yelling stuff from off-camera. Like in Seinfeld when George says he doesn't want to be called T-bone and Kramer yells from the bathroom "WHY NO T-BONE?!?" I don't know why but when that happens in real life, someone yelling something mildly funny from another room, it cracks me up everytime.

And for Bittersweet: ))>((
That was the funniest scene ever in any movie.

VinceJose / March 13, 2006 3:47 PM

is what I meant

VinceJose / March 13, 2006 3:48 PM

poop. it doesn't come out right. sorry for the barrage.

now that's funny / March 13, 2006 4:12 PM

Republican governor candidate Judy Baar Topinka's recent off-the-cuff remark that she considered her rivals "morons" prompted a new way for some of the contenders to greet each other.

Outside the studios of WMAQ-TV (Ch. 5) on Friday morning, candidate Jim Oberweis watched and made faces as rival businessman Ron Gidwitz finish a televised interview.

After the interview concluded, Gidwitz responded by shaking Oberweis' hand, adding "You moron, you," and the pair began laughing.

Thurston / March 13, 2006 4:23 PM

Dogs wearing clothing are pretty hilarious.

paul / March 13, 2006 4:23 PM

Calvin & Hobbes

When a lot of people are crammed together and no one wants to talk to each other (public transportation & elevators)

Mullets make me laugh

Bill / March 13, 2006 4:51 PM

sneezing in a doorway and hitting your head

discovering i couldnt pee while singing

futurama. the office. scrubs.

extremely fat cats. police dogs who wag their tails even as they attack.

david cross. bea arthur.

and finally cat? im a kitty cat! and i dance dance dance and i dance dance dance!

Max / March 13, 2006 4:55 PM

Old people who use profanity.
Woody Allen, god of filmmakers.
The curiousity of cats.
The Kids in the Hall (still funny after over a decade).
Jon Stewart.

p / March 13, 2006 5:08 PM

fluffy comes correct with the telemundo don´t drop the water while running across the rubber sheet program. so good. also good are chic-a-go-go episodes. and calling into the various public access shows never will grow old. Clothing featuring animals (both domestic and wild). Mitch Hedburg.

veronica von fantastique / March 13, 2006 5:09 PM

R. Kelly's Trapped in the Closet vol. 1-5

i eagerly await the release of vols. 6-10!

eep / March 13, 2006 5:29 PM

The word "cooter." Kills me every time.

I'll second MXC and The Office, and add Robot Chicken and Arrested Development on DVD to the list.

GB columnist Dee Stiffler. She makes me laugh so hard, one time I almost puked. Seriously.

Cats with plastic bag handles caught around their middles, so that when they get scared and run, the bag balloons out behind them like a parachute, thus scaring the cat even more. Hilarious.

leah / March 13, 2006 5:51 PM

Oh no hahaaahaha cat, I'm a kitty cat makes me crack up just thinking about it! hahaaa!

Also uhm sometimes like once a year my cats have to scoot around on the hardwood floors on their butts, pulling themselves with their front paws between their legs.

Their ears go back like bats and their eyes get big like saucers. And they tear around until their issue is resolved.

That's some funny shiz.

Carrie / March 13, 2006 5:56 PM

eep: do you know my cat? She used to prance around with the plastic bag around her neck or middle. She loves plastic, so it never really scared her. It was kind of like a dress on her. She's outgrown that habit and prefers to eat plastic. And by eat I mean eat, not lick.

MikeH / March 13, 2006 6:51 PM

Really drunk people. Incoherent, stumbling, puking, pissing-themselves, passing out drunk people. Saw quite a few of 'em this pre-Patty's Day weekend...

Carlotta / March 13, 2006 8:21 PM

unintended irony, e.g. the sign in the window that reads "Another Tie Restaurant Coming Soon!", with the notation that it was created by The Precision Sign Company.

lulu / March 13, 2006 8:40 PM

--Greg the Bunny (rent it ASAP)

--the US version of the Office

--People who make a big ass production of getting near the exit doors on the L so they can get off "quickly," even if they're falling over from the speed and everyone else is getting off the train

--People who use big words to sound smart when simpler, clearer words exist to express their thoughts ("I am attempting to assess the situation" versus "I'm trying to figure out what happened")

This list is starting to be about what annoys me rather than amuses me.

rearae / March 13, 2006 10:57 PM

a few years ago, my boyfriend (who i lived with) slipped on a rainy street. i laughed hysterically, since he was obviously fine. we broke up a few weeks later. wierd.

mike / March 13, 2006 11:32 PM

in response to rearae--

Kurt Vonnegut once said that the funniest thing in the world is when healthy people fall down.

i definitely agree.

lacey / March 14, 2006 12:42 AM

I must echo MXC and also dogs running into things.

But my favorite funny things these days are most definitely Strongbad emails. When my husband says, "EMAIL!" in the Strongbad voice, that's even funnier. Hoo, I'm laughing just thinking about it.

CarrieD / March 14, 2006 9:18 AM

Amen, slb, it's all about mst3k! Keep circulating the tapes!

JB / March 14, 2006 9:31 AM


fluffy / March 14, 2006 9:46 AM

Listening to Carl Castle every morning is funny. He sounds like he either just took a bite out of a peanut butter sandwich (without jelly) or he's holding on to his dentures for dear life. I think he might slobber too.

missmolly / March 14, 2006 9:49 AM

monkeys dressed as people

poop jokes

i know, i am like 10 years old.

susan / March 14, 2006 10:16 AM

(make sure your sound is on)
I'm not really sure why I think this
is so funny.

Matthew Walker / March 14, 2006 11:20 AM


stan / March 14, 2006 11:20 AM

"We've got...other lawn chairs"

jen / March 14, 2006 12:45 PM


fluffy / March 14, 2006 2:43 PM

that our river has Dave Matthews poop in it

Kelly / March 14, 2006 3:44 PM

Kool-Aid is funny.

Wylers if funnier.

mike / March 14, 2006 4:58 PM

This one dude. Trust me.

anthony / March 14, 2006 5:15 PM

Die-hard reformers who think Claypool can catch old man Stroger. I have a feeling 12 people may come out to vote on a cold Tuesday with top race on the ticket already decided...hey, misery loves company. See you at the consolation party!

e_five / March 14, 2006 5:45 PM

The Colbert Report
Jesus' General
The Defeatists!
The Daily Show
Dependable Renegade
Le Show
Joe Frank

Vanessa / March 14, 2006 7:35 PM

Cheney shooting his friend - and then tried to hide it!

Brandy / March 14, 2006 11:11 PM

- And when cats forget to put their tongues back in after cleaning themselves. (I miss having cats!!)
- Boners
- What doesn't make me laugh? (I'm with you, Leelah)
- The Kids in the Hall ("I'm in a rut deep enough to hang posters.")

- Cinecast - Sam & Adam deadpanning giving each other crap. Or when they crack themselves up. I consistently laugh outloud at their podcast.
- Actually anytime I see somebody crack themselves up.
- People who take themselves too seriously.
- Penises. Seriously funny, but men usually don't have any

Q: Where does Napoleon keep his armies?

A: In his sleevies.

Brandy / March 14, 2006 11:13 PM

[open tags aren't funny]

- And when cats forget to put their tongues back in after cleaning themselves. (I miss having cats!!)
- Boners
- What doesn't make me laugh? (I'm with you, Leelah)
- The Kids in the Hall ("I'm in a rut deep enough to hang posters.")

- Cinecast - Sam & Adam deadpanning giving each other crap. Or when they crack themselves up. I consistently laugh outloud at their podcast.
- Actually anytime I see somebody crack themselves up.
- People who take themselves too seriously.
- Penises. Seriously funny, but men usually don't have any sense of humor about their own.

Q: Where does Napoleon keep his armies?

A: In his sleevies.

Sam / March 14, 2006 11:35 PM

Watching boyfriends walking their girlfriends little bitty toy dogs when it is freezing and or raining outside, and having to clean up their little bitty poops.

and "I fart in your general direction"

Mister C / March 15, 2006 12:32 AM

Kids In The Hall, Mr. Show, Black Books, Shakes the Clown, Dana Gould, Patton Oswalt, the late Bill Hicks, Sara Silverman, Laura Kightlinger (sic?), Marc Maron, Office Space...Many More But Must End List.

Watching people at Crown Fountain in Millenium Park get doused by the spitting faces. Happens several times a day in midsummer.

flips / March 15, 2006 8:59 AM

That the jerkwads that stole my stuff took the bad cd's I can't even sell. ha.


fart machines. fun for all. bring on the sophomoric humor!

amyc / March 15, 2006 11:06 AM

What's black and white and red and crawls on the ground?

A wounded nun.

VinceJose / March 15, 2006 11:07 AM

fluffy; it's Carl Kassel...that's kind of funny
)) > ((

d. / March 15, 2006 1:10 PM

Have you guys seen the Juggernaut thing? This video has made me fall out of my chair like forty thousand times...

Juggernaut, Bitch!

Homer / March 15, 2006 2:16 PM

This is a live action re-creation of the beginning scene from The Simpsons. It's actually more amazing than funny.

Jason / March 15, 2006 2:19 PM

Overheard in chicago!!!!

emmy / March 15, 2006 4:48 PM

Farts, fer sher. And using them as weapons.

Vonnegut. John Irving.

Visualing things in my head in cartoon version.

Baby animals that are still clumsy.

Several very tasteless jokes.

Johan / March 16, 2006 6:18 AM

This one is hilarious...

Smoking is banned in all public buildings in Cook County starting in March, 2007.

Except nursing homes.

I'm telling you, you just can't make this stuff up...

Alex / March 16, 2006 9:23 AM

Q: Where does Napoleon keep his armies?
A: In his sleevies.

BRANDY! I just snorted coffee out of my nose reading that. Dear Lord, that is now my all-time favorite joke beating out the long-standing

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
A: Because he was dead.

Sleevies! OMG! GOod stuff!

O.K., things I find funny:

- "Jesus Shaves" from Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris
- Bad jokes!
- "Scooby Doo can doo-doo, but Jimmy Carter is smarter."
- Young Frankenstein
- Chris Rock
- Men in big trucks/hummers -- You know they have small pee-pees!
- Fake blondes with HUGE fake knocker and fake tans
- Mimi Smartypants
- David Letterman
- And I completely agree with Kurt VOnnegut, people falling are the funny

jima / March 16, 2006 10:33 AM

Another vote for The Colbert Report. In particular, this video from a couple nights ago (Windows Media link) about Stephen's new documentary "Hiphopketball 2: The Rejazzebration Remix 06" made me laugh an awful lot.

NPR Geek / March 17, 2006 12:21 AM

It's Carl Kasell!

Phil / April 4, 2006 11:56 PM

The word murkin

phil / April 4, 2006 11:57 PM

The word murkin

Sir Charles / February 5, 2007 7:23 AM

Roger from "American Dad"
Beat that!

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