Gapers Block has ceased publication.

Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
 Thank you for your readership and contributions. 


Monday, February 26

Gapers Block

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Andrew / June 8, 2008 8:26 PM

In other words, predict this summer's weather.

Skilling / June 9, 2008 9:36 AM

Lots of hot air from people trying to link any inclement weather to global warming.

i.e. Its hot out, it must be due to my carbon footprint...

Repent! Repent!

p / June 9, 2008 10:01 AM

i like turtles.

JohnnyQ / June 9, 2008 11:31 AM

Forecasts predict lots of hot air billowing out of the mouths of politicians.

fluffy / June 9, 2008 11:52 AM

I think this summer's going to be hot, but don't quote me cause I may be totally wrong

annie / June 9, 2008 12:58 PM

I have a feeling this summer is going to be one of those cool rainy summers, b/c we had such a bullshit winter..but I'm the glass is half empty kinda gal. I would love for a hot summer, I love it hot...but not Chicago 1995 hot when we lost 600+ people to the heat... in the upper 80s hot.

zoenotcool / June 9, 2008 2:23 PM

at least 2 micro-bursts in Cook County.

hail in August.

a freakish gust of wind will speed all el trains through the slow zones and everyone will get to their destination in record time.

before Sept. - a plague of locusts will form the Olympic logo in the air over one of the city's beaches!

an unusual rainbow will appear over Grant Park in July, which some take as a sign that nature is blessing the Childrens' Museum move.

jennifer / June 9, 2008 2:50 PM

humidity = frizzy hair for everyone! (that or all of the product that people use in desperate attempts to keep their hair flat ironed will be dripping down peoples' foreheads and necks.)

printdude / June 9, 2008 3:34 PM

Seriously, It's as if you people haven't heard of Channel 9 news, or Tommy Skilling.

Earlier this spring, he spoke of the weather systems setting up to hit us with alternating huge downpours and hot, sweltering weather. And this was, like, in March.

So again, people, the prophet of weather comes on every day at 9:31 on channel 9, WGN.
If you miss that you can catch his 7 day forecast here:

Cinnamon / June 9, 2008 3:39 PM

I predict enough heat so my tomatoes get big and enough rain so they're juicy.

And jennifer, some of us are blessed to get fabulous hair when it is humid. I say bring on the heat and humidity!

Steven / June 9, 2008 4:49 PM

Humidity is rising. Barometer's getting low. According to all sources, Halsted Street's the place to go cause tonight for the first time just about half-past ten, for the first time in history, it's gonna start raining men. It's Raining Men! Hallelujah! It's Raining Men! Amen! I'm gonna go out to run and let myself get absolutely soaking wet!

printdude / June 9, 2008 8:15 PM

I predict lots of heat from my grill, charring my meats and veggies to perfection.
I predict there will be many drops of condensation on my boat drinks and beers.
I predict perspiration from myself as I toil in the yard.
I predict that hell will freeze over if the Cubs meet the Sox in the World Series.

I do defer to Tommy Skilling, but I am not above going out with my own predictions.

jen / June 9, 2008 9:25 PM

unfortunately, i predict lots more shit like this.
i almost threw up just reading it.

Spook / June 10, 2008 10:07 AM

The dead will return to feast upon the living.

Those bitten will die and also rise again to feast upon the living

PJ Hoff / June 10, 2008 10:17 AM

Partly crowded on the el platforms, with train frequency in the low 10-15 minutes. A high pressure system will move out of Daley's office and result in scattered children's museums. The weekend forecast includes intermittant gunshots with a 30 percent chance of the intended target getting hit. You might want to wear a jacket.

Moses / June 10, 2008 10:26 AM

Locust. Frogs. Rivers of blood. Pestilence.

Pat / June 10, 2008 7:22 PM

I just watched the 1980 outing of Flash Gordon, so I'll have to go with Ming's meteorological preset known as "HOT HAIL". As best I could tell it was lots of meteor storms all over. If not that, then Brian Blessed's Hawkmen flying all over the place.

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