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Elections Thu Apr 29 2010
We Interrupt The Issues of Crime, Workers' Rights, Transportation, the Environment, Housing, and Education to Remind You That There is an Election Eventually
Alexi Giannoulias, who pretended his extremely brief time running a bank his father owned made him a financial expert, is suffering from a reduced public image because his opponent, Mark Kirk, is pretending that it matters that Giannoulias' father's bank failed at a time when lots of banks are failing. Reporters and editorial boards decided voters should care about these things, and so told them that they care about these things.
It was assumed that the national unidirectional conversation about financial reform would impact the race, as nationally Democrats pretended they didn't accept tens of millions of dollars more than the Republicans from the institutions they were yelling at, and Republicans pretended that they wanted to regulate an industry they have little interest in regulating.
As it turns out, apparently, the Republicans don't want to do what the Democrats want to do, and the Democrats don't want to do what the Republicans want to do, so the only bipartisan thing to do is to do neither, which means nothing. (But bipartisanship is good!)
Mark Kirk returned his donations from Goldman Sachs, as though that meant he was going to do something to regulate Goldman Sachs.
In other news, Pat Quinn pretended that he cared about Bill Brady's tax returns and that releasing or not releasing them had anything to do with how Bill Brady would be Governor. Bill Brady in turn pretended that two unequal numbers (the budget deficit and the amount of specific cuts he's offered) were, in fact, equal.
In local news, White House Chief-of-Staff Rahm Emanuel expressed that at an indeterminate date in the future, he would like to have a prestigious job in his chosen field, but only when that position was open and available. Everybody shit, and then disbelieved the politicians who expressed surprise that they shit.
However, something cool did happen: state Representative Deborah Mell announced on the floor of the General Assembly that she was engaged to her Lesbian partner, and planned to marry her. I'm not being sarcastic, that's pretty cool. Not an election story, but cool anyway.
Mike / April 29, 2010 10:27 PM
The problem is that in the elections that matter, my candidates have never won and it's never mattered that I've voted. Pieces of shit like Joe Berrios win the primary, and even though I signed a clipboard on Belmont the other day to get Forrest on the ballot, he probably won't make it on. If he does, he'll probably still lose. The only local elections that have ever given me any hope in 12 years of living here were the ousters of Natarus and Matlak. I'd rather just move somewhere else.