Gapers Block has ceased publication.

Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
 Thank you for your readership and contributions. 


Sunday, July 14

Gapers Block

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Some birds are giving United Airlines employees hope that their company may again fly high.

After more than a year's absence, a pair of rented swans is back in residence at the airline's Elk Grove Village corporate headquarters. The territorial birds' main job is to shoo away the many Canada geese that flock to the property's large pond.

"When those darn geese are undeterred, people walking in the open are undeterred, if you catch my drift," one employee said. "But now that the swans are back, they scare off most of the geese. Occasionally, you'll see one or two geese standing on the roof looking pissed, but that's about it."

The return of the swans is having another effect, the employee revealed.

"Everybody I know is pleased that the swans are back," he said. "They're lovely, graceful and fiercely devoted birds. This is a good omen."

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