Illinois State Rep. David Miller and State Sen. James Meeks, both of suburban Calumet City, have sponsored a bill in Springfield that would effectively outlaw tongue splitting as a body modification. The bill passed the House unanimously in March, and now awaits a Senate vote. The AP story also quotes piercer Scott Jania of Progressive Piercing at Clark & Belmont, who says he refuses to perform the procedure: "My career is far too important to risk it." (Aside: Rep. Miller's official site notes that his "issues agenda is three-pronged." Write your own punchline.)