A former Metra train conductor has written a book called That's What I Call Commuting, which according to the Sun-Times is a collection of the most memorable moments from his 30 years of working on the trains. Most of the tales sound like out-takes from "America's Funniest Home Videos:" women taking their clothes off, children puking in the conductor's cap, and a guy who missed his morning commute jumping onto a slow-moving freight train and ending up in Iowa.