Gapers Block has ceased publication.

Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
 Thank you for your readership and contributions. 

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Monday, September 20

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In case you missed out on the latest crisis in the local-news culture of fear, a CBS-2/Sun-Times investigation has determined that security dogs at Metra stations might not detect suicide bombers, assuming those suicide bombers behave under the exact circumstances as the CBS-2/Sun-Times fake ones did. And we all know what a juicy target for suicide bombers Metra is. Both Metra and Securitas, the contractor that provides the dogs and their handlers, say the dogs aren't meant to work that way. The Sun-Times and CBS respond, "Boo! See, made you jump. What if we'd been a suicide bomber? Huh?"

 
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