Gapers Block has ceased publication.

Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
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Saturday, May 18

Gapers Block

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Holidays are here. Ring-a-ding-ding, ladies and gents. The season of debt and disappointment is upon us. If you're into gift giving or looking for a way to fund this New Year's blotto fest, then you're gonna have to shell out mass coin. So you're hoping that this year's bonus is a fat one or you're looking for a side job.

This week, we're looking at a sample of the foodservice jobs posted in the Reader. Why foodservice? Because they're often the easiest to get, and there are tips.

JOIN A HIP, growing company. Cosi is coming to Highland Park at 1825 Second Street. Now hiring am and pm hourly positions. Shift leaders, barista/ cashier, ovenline (salad maker and sandwich maker), service expo, prep, dishwashers. Apply in person Monday Cosi is an equal opportunity employer. Visit us at

Kumiko had been living with the Pattersons for three months when their daughter Penelope decided she wanted to get a job at the new Cosi. They objected at first, but thought that it might be a way for her to learn a little responsibility. Kumiko thought it might be a good way to learn English. During training, she watched Penelope struggle with the cash register, her curly hair falling into her face. Kumiko started to watch Penelope closer, paying attention to her light brown freckles, the scar on her left thumb, the way she counted change. The night before the store opened, the whole crew got drunk in Tim Carlson's garage. Kumiko tried to kiss Penelope. Penelope kissed back, for a while. And then she went to find Tim, who she had sex with in the half-bath. Kumiko didn't have her heart in the job after that. Once, when Kimmy Peters bumped into her while getting Kefir for a customer, Kumiko blurted out "Fuck you, bitch!" After that, Kumiko quit and decided to spend the rest of her time in America reading books and eating Pringles.

RESTAURANT OPPORTUNITIES. RHAPSODY Restaurant, a fun and vibrant restaurant in Chicago's Loop, has immediate openings for highly motivated and professional individuals to fill the following position: servers. Must have previous fine dining experience and be available for lunch and dinner shifts. Interested candidates should apply in person between the hours of 2pm and 4pm, Monday-Friday. Rhapsody. 65 East Adams, Chicago. Equal opportunity employer.11/30, 2 PM

Kelsey totally needed extra cash this season. She was trying to pay off her credit cards, but kept buying stuff. She wasn't getting anywhere. Plus, there was this dress she totally wanted to wear on New Year's but it was designer and cost like $2,000. But totally worth it. Kelsey had tried to get a job at a beer tub girl in Rush and Division, but the first two bar managers who she met with asked for handjobs. And Kelsey, although she wasn't opposed to a little under-the-table action during a date, was not that kind of girl. But she saw the ad for Rhapsody. Kelsey liked the place and figured that she might even meet a nice guy while she waited tables or something. But she didn't have the experience and didn't get the job at Rhapsody. Instead, she got a job at Starbucks on the weekends. Kelsey met a nice guy named Will. He taught her how to play the harmonica one Saturday. They will stay together.

FITZPATRICK HOTEL GROUP New York, Chicago, Dublin. Chicago's only Irish owned and operated hotel The Fitzpatrick Chicago Hotel seeks candidates with strong customer relation skills, a great team attitude. Join our 4 Diamond friendly team off the Magnificent Mile. Manager on duty, front desk agents, kitchen utility, bartender. Please forward your details to or fax 312-XXX-XXXX. EOE. M/F.12/1, 11 AM

Brigid McGettigan figured that with her name, she'd get hired on at the Fitzpatrick. They loved to hire kids with mick names. But she had another thing going for her: a fake brogue. A couple of years ago, she figured out that Irish and British accents equaled free drinks. So she rented the movie "Circle of Friends" and copied Minnie Driver's fake brogue. And hey, it worked. After a couple Irish coffees, guests completely believed her Brigid from County Clare routine.

BLEEDING HEART LOOKING to fill overnight pastry and bread baker positions. Candidates must have 3 years production experience, educated in organics, creative, self-motivated. Stop in Tues-Thurs 8am-3pm. 2018 W Chicago. No calls. No rock stars.

She'd seen their baked goods on the counter at Kitchen Chicago in Lincoln Square. Bethany had spent at least an hour a week there. One hand would move between a Bleeding Heart Bakery cookie and her Kitchen Chicago coffee. The other hand would jostle the baby carriage. Thank god Peter liked to sleep a lot. She had always loved to read the want ads - even though she had been out of the workforce for years. But the ad jumped out at her. Bethany cut it out and put it in her wallet, behind her Target card. She was in no way complicated, but Bethany figured that maybe Bleeding Heart might have a counter position. And she could find a little apartment under a different name. Paul could figure out what to do with Peter, right? For the next three months, this ad was her breath of free air.

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About the Author(s)

Shylo Bisnett loves ironing, baking and gardening. She just married a pretty cool dude. Let her know what you think about Public Notice at .

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