Gapers Block has ceased publication.

Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
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Tuesday, March 5

Gapers Block

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When I was five, I had really, really long, beautiful auburn hair. I loved my hair. It came down to my waist and my little arms just couldn't reach to brush it all. So my mother had to do it. At some point, she got tired of me complaining that she was hurting me as she tugged the brush through my hair each morning. An appointment was hastily scheduled and all of my hair fell on the ground.

It looked shit and I think that I cried for a year. I vowed to never have short hair again. Until I saw myself in a video my office filmed a few weeks ago. I realized that my ugly brown curtain of hair needed to go. I cut it all off, cried a little, and in the end, realized that it could grow back.

But you'd never imagine all of the heartache all over Craig about hair and hairstylists.

Marianne Strokirt Salon

I received the worst haircut from Lisette at this salon today. Never, ever go to her. She's one of those hair dressers that totally has her mind made up on how she's going to cut your hair, before you sit down in the chair. I asked her for just a trim and she cut 4 inches off!!! In addition to that, she put so many layers on the top that I can't even pull my hair back in a pony tail anymore. I used to love my hair and now i hate it.

Thanks Lisette. Oh and thanks for laughing in my face when I told you that I was expecting a trim and not half my hair gone.

Dr. Wong had told Lisette that she'd have perfect vision, but she just hadn't understood, until after the surgery. Suddenly, Lisette was in the middle of a sharp world, full of flaws, scars that even her glasses had never rendered fully. When Polly came into the salon, Lisette watched her sneer at everything before her. Lisette, with eyes finally open, gave a haircut her client deserved.

Tricia (Red hair) from Ulta Salon Fri 4/1 3pm - m4w

Tricia, you got your hair cut by Kristin. I was the guy who told you your hair cut looked really nice after your cut was done. I was next in line. I would really like to find you. If you know of a Tricia with Red Hair who just got her hair cut at Ulta Salon on Clark St on Friday

Tricia turned in the mirror, looking at her hair. She gave the stylist a huge tip and bounced out of Ulta, taking a few compliments on her way. Then she rented a convertible, drove to the resort in the U.P., and set their wedding reception site on fire.

Hair Cuttery - m4m 25

To the very cute blonde haired man getting his hair cut in the back around 5:45--we made brief eye contact a few times. I was disappointed that your stylist took so damn long cutting your hair. I wanted to talk to you as we walked out, but I ended up taking off. You were very talkative and your laugh made my day. Perhaps we can grab coffee and I can hear it again?

Keith knew he fucked up when he hadn't said anything about Scott's haircut. And if he didn't know when Scott slammed the door, Keith sure knew when Scott slept in the spare room. So Keith thought about it and send Scott a link to this missed connection a few days later. Because he really was sorry, and he should have known better.

Fucked up hair salons

Ever notice when any woman shears off the hair they automatically add 10 years to themselves and look like complete shit. Ladies hairdressers make money off of cutting your hair so they are going to fuck it up everytime and cut, cut cut. Also I am tired of the same boring, cookie cutter flip that all these office bitches downtown have. You know the one with the flip that makes then look like totally not sexy at all. That waspy hairdo sucks especially when every other broad is wearing it. B_O_R_I_N_G. Stop making the hair dressers rich while they laugh at you behing your backs. The only hair maintainence a woman needs is a one to two inch trim every so often. Oh and by the way.. bangs and layers went out in the 90's update your hairdo please! The truth is these shit haircuts only age you.

Sounds like someone's wife got herself a really sexy mom haircut to go with those high-waisted, pleat-front jeans. Yowza!


Mistake: I made fun of my girlfriend after sex

I don't know what I was thinking but I should have just kept my trap shut. This morning after our early love making session I made fun of my girlfriend by imitated her moans, sighs and moment of climax, expecting her to laugh along with me. Instead she almost cried but instead chewed me a new asshole, flew out of bed, got dressed and walked out the door. Was I in the wrong for embarrassing her or is my baby just way to sensitive? Is that an unwritten rule?

Is it just me or is the expression "chewed me a new asshole" one of the gems of the English language?

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