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Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
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Saturday, March 2

Gapers Block

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According to our good friend Craig, many Chicagoans plan to celebrate Labor Day 2006 by soliciting no-strings-attached sexual acts via the Internets. Just a Labor Day phenomenon? Of course not. In fact, any day that most of the population has free from work (MLK Day, Memorial Day, etc.) results in a flurry of horny, lazy CL sex posts.

Let's make the claim that sex is a form of labor (which it is for sex workers, etc. but I'm talking more general here.) And that Labor Day celebrates American labor. So, I guess, via faulty, lethargic logic, that Labor Day celebrates American booty. And we, the virtuous American people, choose to commemorate Labor Day by fucking strangers. OK. Let's help you out.

Black Bottom Looking For Two Tops For Some Hot Fun!! - m4m - 18
Hey, wanna have a little fun over this labor day weekend with two or so guys. I'm a vergin bottom, think you can help me change that? i'm your average looking guy, nothing special. I got a nice fat warm ass. You be cute and mega horny, hit me up or you can reach me at [ number deleted ], i'll be waiting.

I don't know about her bottom, but this ad makes me think of labor activist/anarchist/deportee Emma Goldman. She was a mirth-maker, too (which for her included a desire for free love and the heads of leaders on sticks.) An early, staunch believer in birth control freedom, she's the "If I can't dance, I don't want to be part of your revolution" lady. I wonder what she'd think about this fella, this mega-horny, vergin-bottom and his Labor Day plans. Emma would probably be cool with it if his guy took a pause between devil-may-care sex acts to throw a Molotov cocktail through the window of a Wal-Mart.

N/S Man seeks a freak bud - m4m - 40
Wattup! It is the Labor Day week-end. Would like to party with a hot guy!
Sex is an option, love is wanted and guaranteed!
Spanish and hairy, foreskin and nipple fetish a must. Suck, fuck, lick and rub the pain away to esctasy and release.

Your pic gets mine!

Here's where I'm going to work in a little lesson about Robert Owen (1777 - 1858) and moderation. This Welshman believed that everything, leisure, work and sleep, should be doled out to workers in even dollops. Owen was one of the first dudes to agitate about the eight-hour workday. So, I think the lesson here is that I guess "Spanish and hairy" is on the right track with his Labor Day festivities, but make sure to punch your card out on time, if you know what I mean.

There is still plenty of time left - 48
Happy Labor Day Girls, lets get together tonight, tomorrow or Monday and celebrate the holiday, we could do dinner or appetizers, or drinks, or maybe you have some ideas of your own. I am a 48 year old single white average looking guy, i am fun, easygoing, and a great listener. Please email me back, i am waiting for you.

Dinner, drinks and the mutual exchange of ideas? No wage slavery at the hands of a ghoulish taskmaster? Sounds pretty good, especially if you contrast this ad with the state of Pullman workers in 1894. This is when Chicago railroad magnate George Pullman cut workers' wages but kept their rents and company store fees sky-high. Now, it's incredibly simplistic to suggest that if Eugene V. Debs and Geo P. had sat down in front of some Burt's Pizza and frosty brew and hashed the whole thing out, then the lives of 13 strikers and the welfare of thousands of Pullman workers could have been saved. But it couldn't have hurt. Burt's could have melted even Pullman's frosty heart.

Labor Day with Lassie - 24
I'm a guy. I like hot dogs, bloody asian movies, screaming at NBA games.

But, mostly, I'm a softy. Very sensitive. I wrote bad love poetry in high school. I get emotional if I think I've hurt somebody's feelings. I cry at animal movies. I even cried at an episode of FUTURAMA that involved a dog pining for Fry his whole life.

Nice segue. There is a new British movie version of Lassie that came out this weekend. It was made without an ounce of Hollywood's influence, has a terrific cast (Peter O' Toole, Samantha Morton, Peter Dinklage), and has that pooch that will ultimately tug my heart strings. I was wondering if anyone wanted to come with me.

I plan on seeing at the 130pm at the River East theater on Illinois street on Monday. Maybe afterwards we could have a little lunch.

Have your lunch, weirdo. (Come on, the new "Lassie" movie? Yacksville.) Just make sure that it doesn't include table grapes in honor of the struggles and contributions of Cesar Chavez. And before you raise that forkful of cheap, freshly picked Big Salad to your lips, just try to figure out your role in this whole messy immigration debate. Enjoy!

Looking for an NSA on Labor Day - Let's F to Lucinda Williams!! - m4w - 45
Let's meet for some Lunch/Dinner, hang at the beach/picnic. If we hit it off let's get a room listen to Lucinda Williams and get down to exploring each other. Dinner/Lunch can almost be anywhere. I love all kinds of exotic food and music for that fact. I'm laid back. Love to give oral and I have been told I am a very giving lover. I'm Irish-American, 5'10", 175lbs, decent shape, and intelligent.

You: comfortable with your desires, can hold a conversation, enjoy good food-music-passion, any race, decent body, lots of smiles, comfortable or not-with this kind of thing. I like to take it slow and passionately, we can have a good time. Thinking about a room at the Hyatt regency.

Send a picture...

You can text message me call me at [number removed]. Send phone number and any questions (150 character limit). I won't necessarily be at a computer on a beautifal day like today. Get in touch with early enough we can meet tonight?

Why Lucinda Williams? Why not Woody Guthrie*, that socialist, activist and author of "This Land is Your Land." Or even Farm Aid toker Willie Nelson. God, even former Cougar, John Mellencamp. Nothing against Lucinda, of course. The poster is just trying to attract sensitive ladies with his sensitive taste. But, hey, it's Labor Day!

* Yeah, life-long socialist. They sure left that out of the lesson in elementary school, didn't they? We started every assembly by singing this song and you'd think a teacher could have at least brought that up once, for discussion's sake.

asian cd/tv for a few good men on labor day monday - t4mm - 30
asian crossdresser here...i have a straight guy friend visiting on monday and we are looking for other straight or married men who'd like to join us for group play. i love to suck cock, rim ass, and then get a bukkake facial at the end from all the guys. serious, will host in the northside. please send face pic and description and i will contact you.

Yeah, I have no idea what to do with this. But I will tell you that "bukkake facial" is not on the list of services at Elizabeth Arden. Or anywhere else in my world.

So, Blockers, go and screw your Labor Day away. I'm cool with it. Just maybe take a moment to think of all the labor activists past, present and future who worked towards a better day for everyone. And then toast them with union-brewed, American beer. Tasty!

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About the Author(s)

Shylo Bisnett loves ironing, baking, gardening and being a naughty housewife. Let her know what you think about Public Notice at .

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