Gapers Block has ceased publication.

Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
 Thank you for your readership and contributions. 


Sunday, March 3

Gapers Block

Gapers Block on Facebook Gapers Block on Flickr Gapers Block on Twitter The Gapers Block Tumblr


The sloganed t-shirt is more popular than ever. See the incredible popularity of sites like CafePress and Threadless that give everyone the ability to make, wear and sell their own brand of irony, anger, wit or dumbassery to the global community. I've never actually turned a slogan into a t-shirt — though if I did, "Keep It Up, Estonia!" would be #1. Hey, it's funny to me. And isn't that the point? Sloganed t-shirts express personality (or do they?), but most of all, they serve as the easiest ice breaker of all ice breakers. How many midnight make-out sessions have their genesis in the words "Nice t-shirt"? How many accidental babies have been made because alumni in far-flung locations recognizing, say, a fellow Boilermaker or Volunteer?

And while t-shirts may help us notice one another, it's Craig that helps us come together.

polka dots at estelles - m4w
you = short, super cute girl with the polka dot dress and black rimmed glasses at Estelles tonight.

me = dude by the bar, black t-shirt with blue know what it said ;)

dammit, I saw you look, and my stupid shy ass self did not approach you.


lets hang out.

Oh, naughtypants, what did the t-shirt say? Here are my top votes:

1. Stop jokin' and start pokin'!
2. Got MILF?
3. Wyld Stallyns
4. Fucker? I just met her!
5. How'd you like a toe in yer ass?

What sayeth you, GBer? Let mama know. What did the big bad man have on his black t-shirt?

Bio lab boy in Thunder Cats T-shirt at Piece - w4m - 26
We talked for a while at the bar, but you were busy celebrating your friend's 30th birthday. I thought you were cute and would like to play frisbee with you.

Jesus, Jones. Why don't you just call her your own personal Cheetara and how you would like to be her Lion-O and together you will storm life as the Thundercats did Mumm-Ra's tomb? Where's Snarf to run interference?

you: Dominick's Vegan I-heart-Toronto-t-shirt girl. - m4w - 26
I struck up a conversation with you about how smart it was to take your cookbook to the store. You were nice and didn't treat me like some sort of idiot for talking to strangers-- thanks-- you seemed like you might have even enjoyed talking to me. Hooray for spontaneity.

The hilariously crabby cashier foiled my plan to invite you to play pool tonight at Ginger Man in Wrigleyville, though. My friends and I go there every Monday, so if you're not cooking some week, it would be great to see you again. Show up, or if you want to make sure it's a week that I'll be there, email me first.

This is one of those "nice t-shirt" situations, but our damsel had a more obvious, less boob-filled prop on which to comment. The supermarket stalk can be quite fun, following someone through frozen foods and pasta sauce, only to watch them buy something truly embarrassing like douche or Beano that blows the whole thing to bits. So, good call on the up-front conversation. Who needs the disappointment so early in the game?

SAT - "I like to PARTY" t-shirt, awesomely crazy hair. - m4m - 36
You walked by me outside Marshall's on Saturday. You: cute guy in a red "I like to party" t-shirt with out-of-control hair. Me: Big guy with a red messenger bag and headphones. You kept looking back at me and I met every gaze, but you never came back to talk. Still interested?

When you buy the "I like to party" t-shirt, do they issue you the "Friend of Bill" or Serenity Prayer t-shirt right away? Or does it come to Hazelden a few years later?

Whatever case, this is one of those situations where one's internal alarm should be going off, warning you that there's plenty o' crazy in these here waters.

Old Town Art Fair "Everybody loves a Jewish Boy" t-shirt - w4m
We exchanged glances several times. I saw you again at Old St. Pat's this past Saturday. I would have said "Hi" but my friends were in a rush to leave. You were so cute!

Not a fan of the "everybody loves a" t-shirts, I have to admit. But I get their deal. These t-shirts advertise that you're on the market, and wookin' pa nub. They serve their purpose, regardless of how dumb they are. Around St. Patrick's Day last year, I counted 42 "Everybody Loves an Irish Girl" shirts, stretched tight across the chests of area ladies. Erin go bra-less, I say.

What's your t-shirt say? Got a favorite that you love that gets you compliments — and even mad booty?

GB store

About the Author(s)

Shylo Bisnett loves ironing, baking and gardening. She will soon be a naughty housewife. Let her know what you think about Public Notice at .

GB store

GB Store

GB Buttons $1.50

GB T-Shirt $12

I ✶ Chi T-Shirts $15