Gapers Block has ceased publication.

Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
 Thank you for your readership and contributions. 


Saturday, March 2

Gapers Block

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A bird is an interesting pet. A cat, properly tamed and loved, may rove, but will always come back when the tuna comes out. And a dog's unfettered desperation means no separation from owner at all. But why choose a symbol of freedom for a household pet? Clip its wings, shut it in a roomy cage, teach it a few words -- birds still retain the ability to fly away and never come back. And it seems that they often do.

I've always singled out the lost bird ads in the paper because the descriptions of the birds are always so fancy. And while I've seen lost cats and dogs around, I've never seen a teal bird fluttering around with a gang of pigeons. But really, I like these ads because the metaphors are too many to count.

ALEXANDRINE PARRROT LOST IN SKOKIE 10/1. Green w/ red beck 10'tail. Reward 847-XXX-XXXX

Her husband showered attention on the parrot, offering it soft words and unfettered kindness like he never had shown her. One day, when he was at work, she opened up the good bourbon, got an idea, and opened the cage and a window. Then she went to take a nap. An hour later, the bird was gone. She filled the bourbon bottle back up with water, put a Cornish game hen in the cage and hoped for the best.

1 LOST BLUE & GOLD McCaw & 1 Nanday Conure Parrots. Heart Broken Mom. Reward XXX-XXXX

It was Barrett's job to clean the cage. He was supposed to wash his hands before reaching inside, but he was eight and forgot. Then the birds got sick. When they died, she cried for a week. Barrett would remember it as the event that made him realize that parents really didn't have it together.

LOST: african grey PARROT, Glenview, Illinois


COLORS AND MARKINGS: white and light grey around face, body darker grey with dark red at tip of the tail

LOCATION LOST: glenview, Illinois

LAST SEEN AT: Big Oak Condos & Regency Woods in Glenview, IL

DATE LOST: early october 2005


Chad wondered if the parrots were ready to be taken out into the woods. But the thought of them gliding together in a colorful arc in and out of the trees was too tempting. He thought of it while on the train coming home from work and played it endlessly before dropping off to sleep. One Saturday, early, he took the cage and brought them outside. Only one came back, and it was the one Chad didn't really like. He never let it out again, and it grew so fat in its cage it broke the perch.

Light Blue Parakeet FOUND
About half a week ago while gettin into my car, saw a parakeet in the street....brought out an old bird cage (our bird recently died)and captured the color of it's nose-its a male however not sure bc its a light purple/blue/white...can't distinguish....If you are interested in this bird or know of someone who lost a parakeet recently in Roger's Park area please respond...

"Oh, thank God," she thought. Felicia called the number immediately and claimed the parakeet. Her class would be so happy to see it back, especially since the "He's at the vet" spiel was getting old. She promised to never drink at work again.

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About the Author(s)

Shylo Bisnett loves ironing, baking and gardening. She just married a pretty cool dude. Let her know what you think about Public Notice at .

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