Gapers Block has ceased publication.

Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
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Tuesday, April 16

Gapers Block

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Yeah, yeah, when people think about MCs (missed connections, I Saw U's, etc.), they think about bookish young things on the Brown or Red line, maybe wearing a goofy scarf or sporting a memorable tattoo. But even the middle-aged, tie-wearing, lunch-in-a-Victoria's-Secret-bag Metra rider looks for love. Sure, it's over a pleather bench seat instead of a bum-pee-soaked double. But you can still find love on the Metra. And this column is all about the furtive glance, the longing heart on the suburban express.

Metra... Aurora to Union Sat. Night.. - m4w - 23
I got on at Downers Grove around 8:45 and I think you were already in my car upstairs. I held the door for you on the way out and then ended up running into you again on the orange line. I was in glasses and a white coat/ you had a few bags looking like you were spending the night down around Roosevelt. We exchanged a few glances, let me know if you remember or are interested.

Lilly-with-two-els, no relation to Eli Lilly and his drugs, struggled onto the train with minutes to spare. Her brow was sweaty and she wiped it off with her sleeve. As she arranged her bags, all she thought of/wished for/wanted was a caramel sundae from McDonald's. With peanuts. Instead, she took little sips from the mini-bottle of sauvignon blanc that she picked up at the Cost Plus.

Major Hottie on Metra - m4w - 29
5:35pm trian, your stop was fullerton/Clyborne. Very good looking, dark hair, tall- about 5'9"+, grey pants. Could not stop thinking about how cute you were.

Here, at the most meatmarket-iest of Metra stations, Penn looked for some fresh booty. He had, after all, fucked half the platform. And that new chick had a sweet booty. Penn placed the ad, figuring her for a romantic. Which was stupid, because if he had been direct, he totally would have scored. His error cost him the best blow job of his life.

Last week Thursday Aurora to Chicago, 3:45 in-time - w4m
We were sitting across from each other, you for some reason looked like you'd just been to a job interview. Maybe you really work out that way. I was coming back from school. We stared at each other intermittently throughout the ride. Today, Thursday again, you were a no-show. Further confirms the job interview idea. If you ride again, keep an eye out for me. I'll be watching for you.

When Laura boarded the train, she tried not to focus on anything, knowing that whatever she took in would that day would come back to visit her later. And the day she divorced that bastard would not be one she wanted to think about anytime soon.

RANT: God, do smokers ever smell bad! Whew!
I was on my morning commute in a Metra Train. This asshole stands next to me and he has that unmistakable odor of stale smoke. It got worse when he turned towards me and some of his foul breath came out. Yuch!

Know what's worse? When you have to sit in the same Metra car with someone eating McDonald's. Especially when you've only eaten 800 calories that day. Give a gal a break, fools.

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About the Author(s)

Shylo Bisnett loves ironing, baking, gardening and being a naughty housewife. Let her know what you think about Public Notice at .

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