Gapers Block has ceased publication.

Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
 Thank you for your readership and contributions. 


Saturday, March 2

Gapers Block

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Everybody knows that a Craig's List ad is free. And it's so easy to place them that, hey, why not? It's just a Web site.

But were you also aware that it's free to place non-commercial ads in The Reader? And there's something so tickling about seeing your words in print. Which explains why there's a fun little community of pranksters who place totally nonsensical ads in the Personals section.

THE DEADLIEST CATCHILD speaks: The Chicago Transvanguardians and guests will be holding a conclave in the polynesian protectorate of Trader Vic's on Thursday, December 8 from about 6pm until. The topic will be monkey business.

This ad caught my attention because this Friday, we Gapers Block kids are having our monthly gathering at Trader Vic's. But although we are a fun group (and great tippers) we do not tend to use phrases such as "the deadliest catchild." However, I plan to co-opt this phrase to use for my own personal cat, a biter.

TRANSVANGUARDIANS! SAFE HARBOR awaits at the L&L. So proclaimeth the Marquessa of West Town, Commodore of the Royal Navy

Ah, the transvanguardians strike again. And since they've zigzagged from Trader Vic's to the L & L, the poster is unrepentantly rockabilly. And I imagine the Marquessa, with her Betty Page hair and her cherry earrings, bent over her keyboard calling her subjects to order over a frosty beer.

YOUR PSYCHOLOGICAL TORTURE shows no mercy. Care to share Truth?

Sometimes, it's just crazy people who place these ads, I guess. This one was posted by a 47-year-old city employee who has a weird thing "going on" with a security guard in the building's lobby. He bought her a turtle, who died.

FINGERS WON'T DO the walking. Snail at noon.

Ooh! This ad was placed by a smartypants guy who, over a period of months, exchanged ads with a girl he met at the Holiday Club. Occasionally, they got together in person, but they mostly talked online or on the phone late at night. They thought enough of each other and their flirty relationship, but mostly, they did it to keep their blade sharp.

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About the Author(s)

Shylo Bisnett loves ironing, baking and gardening. She just married a pretty cool dude. Let her know what you think about Public Notice at .

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