Gapers Block has ceased publication.

Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
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Saturday, March 2

Gapers Block

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So, as per Chicago tradition, I recently enjoyed some summertime adult beverages on my friend Rachael's porch, watching the world go by, waving to acquaintances on bikes, smiling at dogs. She had just moved into a new apartment in Lincoln Square and had made a really keen, ridiculously funny observation about her hood: that Lincoln Square is where middle-class, Northside white folks go to be white. Like, nobody yells on the streets or cranks loud music from car windows. It's all neighbors that wave, khaki Gap shorts, and misdirected New Yorkers in your mailbox.

I thought about Rachael's little quip when my boo and I made our way up to Ravinia (where upper-class, sun-bronzed white folks go to be with their own kind) to attend a live taping of the long-running NPR staple "A Prairie Home Companion." We walked in the big Ravinia gates, along with a veritable blizzard of other white Yuppies with their old duvets, bottles of Chardonnay, and deli sammitches. And even though it was (in the parlance of our times) hot as balls up at Highland Park, the occasional breeze, a second drink, and Garrison Keillor's dulcet tones soon lured the crowd into silence. I leaned my head on my dude's knee, looked up at the sky and watched the clouds move overhead.

Our nice friend Craig is full of references to Ravinia, mostly as a qualifier or reference. Lots of would-be lovers (99% male) will list their willingness to attend Ravinia as an example of how open-minded and sensitive they are. The thinking being that Chicago gals are looking for a guy who will take them to Ravinia and then take them home. Other traits listed that are intended to express a male's worthiness include picnics at the beach, movies in the park, and park BBQs with friends. Three things that remind me of 1980s-era Reunite white wine commercials.

4 Prarie Home Companion / Madeleine Peyroux tix - $10
I have four extra lawn tickets to A Prarie Home Companion and Madeleine Peyroux this Saturday, June 17, 2006. I paid $10 apiece for them, and am selling them for face value 'cause two couples I invited can't come, last minute. That's $10 each; you save the expense of a service charge, and the hassle and uncertainty of buying at the gate.

Bring a bottle of wine and your favorite picnic and enjoy the show. I will have the tix in the loop tomorrow during business hours and we can arrange for a meeting to trade. Cash only; I'll sell them together or separately.

Adam spent every Thursday over at his buddy Greg's house. His wife Aimee always cooked up something great, and now that it was grilling season, the three of them chilled on their rooftop deck, drinking beer, wine or whatever was handy. Tonight they broke the news that Aimee was three months pregnant. Greg and Aimee were thrilled, and Adam was thrilled for them. He knew they'd been trying, but the moment they told him, Adam felt even more like an outsider than he sometimes did. Because this probably spelled the end of their Thursdays together. Like a family would want some random college buddy around all the time .... But maybe if Adam had a girlfriend? It might even out the numbers. It might save Thursdays. When Greg kissed the top of Aimee's head as he passed her chair on his way to get another beer, Adam knew it was time to look for the same.

Ravinia this Sat. who wants to come with..........? - 32
Hello fellow seekers of companionship I am 32 fun outgoing creative usually considered the eccentric one in my circle of friends none the less I have an extra ticket for a show at Ravinia next Sat. (I did this on purpose she is a romantic female jazz vocalist) if it peeks your interest let's share a few pic's and break the ice over an ice cream cone or a few cocktails between now and next Sat.

Madeleine Peyroux paused between songs for a sip of water and a smile for the crowd. It was stuffy inside the Martin - the temperature, not the crowd. In fact, she was pleased to see how many people were really into the music, keeping time on their knees, nodding along. She thought of the CD sales. And it would have been a perfect show, except for this one couple off stage left. Both drunk, and the man kept kissing the crook of the woman's neck. Which always made Madeleine feel itchy and saliva-marked. But the girl just kept giggling and saying, "Oh, Adam!"

Summer in Chicago! - 37
Movies on the lawn, street festivals, Ravinia, the L.A.T.E. ride - what place could be more fun than Chicago in the summertime?

I am looking to meet new people and make new friends. If you are looking for the same please drop me a note - a picture would also be appreciated


Tom had confided to Deanna, the girl who shared his office, that he was thinking of posting an ad. Deanna begged Tom to let her help him come up with something perfect. They approached it the way they would a new client at the ad agency where they worked. First, Deanna did some surveys of her girlfriends to see what they'd be most likely to look for in a man's ad. Then they analyzed the customer learning results and wrote three test ads. Tom and Deanna then assembled a focus group of female acquaintances to see which one would get the best response. A third party led them through the ads. This one won because it made "the guy sound really sweet" and "not threatening ... someone who would fit in well with my friends." They also mentioned that it was good that "he didn't come out and say that he wanted a blonde or something." A couple of girls thought it was kind of weak-sounding, "it should mention the Cubs or beergardens or something." And after the focus group, one of the ladies approached the focus group moderator and shyly asked him to please pass her number to Tom. Because he sounded perfect.

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About the Author(s)

Shylo Bisnett loves ironing, baking, gardening and being a naughty housewife. Let her know what you think about Public Notice at .

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