As of January 1, 2016, Gapers Block has ceased publication. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
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TODAY

Sunday, December 15

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Airbags

That's what they say, right? At least, that's what you'd say if you were a weatherman on Fox news. And then the two hootchie newsreaders on either side of you would laugh! Oh, Benny! You so clever!

Anyway, it appears that Chi-town is actually going to have a substantive spring, a season I haven't experienced in the three years I've lived here. Whoa. It's been three years already? I moved here on April 1, 2002, in the middle of a snowstorm. I'd never seen snow fall and was certainly not prepared for it in spring. But hey, it's warm now and we're livin' la vida homeowner, putting in patios, cutting sod, yadda yadda.

So, to see what other Chicagoans are planning for spring, I visited my ol' friend Craiggers. Here's what I found.

Need a merch girl?
This summer I'm looking to possibly do merch for a band.. I have prior experience doing merch.. and prior experience in retail. So if you know anyone that needs a merch girl this spring/summer/fall or if YOU need a merch girl please hit me up...
Aim: (Edited)
Email: (Edited)@comcast.net
Myspace: www.myspace.com/(edited)

Thank you for your time..
best regards, Jessica

Oh, Christ, Jessica. Use the word "merch" one more time, and I'm going to go all Tawny Kitaen on you. And why does a pretty little girl like you want to spend all your evenings at the Double Door or wherever hawking t-shirts for L7 bands? Oh, I get it. Free beer and drummers. Party on, girl.

Female looking for female tennis player
I am a female player, age 28, in search of a strong, consistent female hitter. NO MEN!

I am looking to hit this spring and summer and perhaps play in leagues.

I am interested in playing on the northside of the city - roscoe village, ravenswood, north center, or mcfeteridge area.

Please contact if interested.

Oooh! Here's a treat for all you girl-on-girl fans:

1) This girl is a dead ringer for Anna Whorenikova.
2) She wears little tennis skirts and no panties!
3) She's all about the backhand, if you know what I mean.
4) And this ad? A hard-bodied former Swedish tennis pro named Sonja responded.
5) They played a few sets this morning.
6) Right now, they're tipsy on lemon drop shots and giving each other back rubs.

You can thank me later.

Also, where's McFeteridge?

Work From Home(rs) Lunch Club
I love working from home. I'm typing this in my sweats, drinking chocolate soy milk with the TV on behind me. But, with spring and summer coming, I'd like to recreate the wonderful weekly long lunch.

Are there any other chronic work from home(rs) who'd like to meet up once a week (wed, fri, etc....) for long lunches in the downtown, lakeview, lp, bucktown, etc... areas?

Send me an email with:
o short bio (work, live, age, etc...)
o preferences for days, times
o ideas for restaurants
o thoughts?

I'll collate all the responses and reach back out on a distro!

Thanks, K-

This sounds like the premise for NBC's new hit comedy! Four wacky work-at-homers in the Windy City form a lunch club. Mary's a single mom who writes greeting cards. Clive's a high-tech Web programmer who's too busy to find a girlfriend. Terri is a lesbian dogwalker who's not afraid to say what's what! And Petra? She's everybody's favorite freelance writer who's looking for love -- and that perfect pair of pumps!

Tune in Thursdays at 8:30!

(I'm only mocking the idea because I'm totally jealous, btw.)

Dinner/Dance - Music from the 50's & 60's!!! FUN!!! 3.31.05

CALLING ALL ROMANTICS!!!!

It is my pleasure to tell you to about our Spring Dinner Dance Extravaganza at Monastero's Restaurant & Banquets! 3935 W. Devon Avenue in Chicago!

This night is especially catered to those who: - love the music from the 'Golden Oldies' Era...
- would like to learn dance steps (box-step, cha-cha, etc) taught by ballroom instructors...
- want to enjoy a nice, romantic evening out...
- are getting married & need dance instruction to perfect their 1st dance (if you're 1st song is a Golden Oldie(Sinatra, Tony Bennett, etc), chances are it will be played!)

Gentlemen, this is the perfect opportunity to surprise your wife with a night she'll never forget!!! If you got in trouble and need to make it up to her, this is a romantic & original way to do it!

THURSDAY, MARCH 31ST, 2005 6:00pm and 6:30pm seatings!

Have Parents who love music from the 50's? - BRING "EM ALONG! They won't be disappointed :)

Belong to a social/church club that would love a fun evening out? 20% of your total dinner check will be given back to your club as a thank you with a reservation of 20 people or more!

Crap. This sounded fun. I'm sorry that I missed it. We had signed up for lessons at the Old Town School of Folk Music, but I had been too depressed to leave the house that weekend. But I'd have mustered the courage to hoof it old school with a bunch of Baby Boomers all boozed up on the North Side. Who wouldn't?

But I think it's wack to pitch this as a way to get out of the doghouse with your old lady. That's what jewelry and a trip to Cabo are for.

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About the Author(s)

Shylo Bisnett loves ironing, baking and dancing naked. She dreams of being a naughty housewife. Let her know what you think about Public Notice at .

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