Gapers Block has ceased publication.

Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
 Thank you for your readership and contributions. 


Sunday, March 3

Gapers Block

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On the first warm day of every year, I find my heart yearning for the smell of something new. And that goes beyond the aroma of the first bunch of fresh daffodils in the market to the foyer of a fancy department store. Spring makes me want to treat myself, spruce up my own little nest, and spend some hard-earned green.

But in order not to break the bank on printemps purchases, I turn to the secondhand sweetness of Craig's List (surprise). Here are the stories of five items, and those who picked them up.

Proust - Remembrance of Things Past (3 Volume Set) - $50
Three volume hardcover Random House edition of Marcel Proust's Remembrance of Things Past (considered the definitive English edition). Excelent condition with intact dust covers. $50 firm. Here's your chance to read a book (all 3,000+ pages of it!) that will change your life - and make people think you are really smart.

Helen chuckled at this ad. "Smart indeed," she said and penned a little note to the seller. An hour later and a few PayPal clicks, the Proust books were hers. And in an hour and a half more, she dropped the books, plus a few well-seasoned madeleine pans, off at her daughter's condo. Although she figured that Chloe would just roll her eyes at her stupid old housewife mother, Helen knew that little smart ass would never read those books as she'd done at Barnard and she'd never make the madeleines, as she had that morning.

King Size Waterbed with 4 drawers - $250
King Size Oak Waterbed in excellent condition. 4 large drawers on the bottom - 2 on each side. Headboard has a mirror in the middle with a shelf on each side and reading lights above the shelves.

Allyson finally decided that it was time to get rid of the wrought-iron daybed that she'd had since she was 12. And with it went the eyelet bedding, the fluffy pink rug and the constellation stickers on her ceiling. Her roommate's oak sleigh bed was really nice, but Allyson was in the mood to do something different. So she bought the water bed. But she got it for $175 and spent the difference on bleach and Murphy's oil soap. She wasn't planning on changing that much.

Box of 55 CDs - $70
Guns N' Roses - Appetite for Destruction
Seal - 1st album
Seal - 2nd album
Elton John - 1998 World Tour
Leo Dan
Imperial Rage - Fire in the Sky
Septer - Transgressor
Ricky Martin - A Medio Vivir
The Best of Movie Hits - Vol. 3
J.S. Bach
Fey - Tierna la Noche
B.B. King - How Blue Can You Get
The Orange Peels - Square
The Legendary Jim Ruiz Group - Sniff
Metallica - St. Anger
Vanni - Live at the Acropolis
Shine - Soundtrack
BET Awards and nominees 2004
Thalia - Amor a la Mexicana
Cher - Believe
Ace of Base - the Bridge
Shakira - the Remixes
Bobby McFerrin - Paper Music
Celine Dion - Let's Talk about Love
Di Blasio - Greatest Hits
Metallica - Metallica
Bee Gees - Greatest hits (2 CDs)
Wager: The Compact "Ring"
The Eagles - Greatest Hits
Lifescpes - Celtic Romance
Tracy Lawrence - The Coast is Clear
The Best of Movie Hits - Vol. 2
Headrush - Joshua Path
Armageddun soundtrack
Barbra Streisand - Higher Ground
Highlights from the Phantom of the Opera
Donizetti - Lucia Di Lammermoor
Callas - Serafin
The Wallflowers - Bringing Down the Horse
Whitney Houston - Greatest Hits
Jesus Jones - Doubt
The Best of Kansas
Jose Carreras - My Romance
The Best of Movie Hits Vol. 1
Queen - Live at Wembley '86
Ever After - Soundtrack
Alejandra Guzman - Serie Platino
Silver Bells - Holiday carols
Highlander - the Score
Miguel Mateos - Grandes Exitos
RuPaul - Foxy Lady
Blondie - Parellel Lines

Around Montrose and Kimball. Cash only please!

TMAN1975: Wow.
bphillipsx02: Yeah.
TMAN1975: I'm totally buying this.
TMAN1975: Email sent.
bphillipsx02: Um, why?
TMAN1975: To see what I can do with it. You know. It's an experiment.
bphillipsx02: I don't want any more o fyour shitty mixed CDs, tom.
TMAN1975: Fuck off. They rock.
bphillipsx02: They blow.
bphillipsx02: You blow.
TMAN1975: Suck my balls, asshole.
bphillipsx02 has disconnected.

World Of Warcraft Gamers Guide - Ebook and Audio Book - $27
The Secrets Of Playing a Great Game of World of Warcraft... and Winning More than Ever!

EBook PLUS Audio Book!

For just $27.77 you'll recieve:

Downloadable eBook - You can be reading World of Warcraft: Gamer's Guide in as little as 2 minutes from right now (even if it's 2am on a Sunday!). The automated system will deliver your copy as a downloadable PDF file (which can be read on any computer).

Downloadable Audio book - You'll also get the Audio book version in MP3 format. You can listen to it on your iPod or other MP3 device, burn it to a CD, or just listen to it right on your computer.

Kellie thought that if they had gaming to talk about, maybe then Scott would like her. Warcraft was all he really seemed to care about and she really, really liked him. Kellie downloaded the audio book and listened to it for a week straight on her iPod. And she read and re-read the eBook. And when she finally started playing a couple of weeks later, Kellie tore it up. She really, truly rocked WoW. She could totally kick Scott's ass. Which did not make her like him, but she didn't care because she met this awesome college guy from Australia who did.

PURDUE 2001 Rosebowl Sweatshirt - Adult L - $20
Color - Light Beige

PURDUE embroidered in black/tan

Red Rose & 2001 embroidered

Contact by email or call 847-XXX-XXX

Pick up in Schaumburg.

Cash only.

Will did not even kind of hesitate to buy this sweatshirt. He'd been at that game and once had that sweatshirt. But his bitch of an ex-girlfriend decided to paint her stupid apartment in it and got it covered in purple paint so he threw it out. So he drove out to Schaumburg to pick it up. And there he met Angela, who was trying to get rid of the last of her ex-boyfriend's shit, including this sweatshirt. And Will, who was finally over that hateful, evil skank and was ready to move on, asked Angela if she wanted to get some Cold Stone at the Streets of Woodfield. She accepted, ordered a small sweet cream with gummi bears, and reconsidered her celibacy.

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