Gapers Block has ceased publication.

Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
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Monday, February 26

Gapers Block

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As more and more of my friends have children, or start the process of having children, it's something I consider. I don't think kids are for me, but I notice the presence of children, from all the pregnant women to the screamers next to me in restaurants to the angelic sweeties that make you rethink the whole kid thing.

Kids come up a lot in the classifieds. You want a man/woman who wants kids/has kids/hates kids, whatever. But then there are the ads looking to buy eggs from donors. Or the ads from loving childless couples looking to adopt. And the saddest — the ads posted by the State of Illinois notifying a parent of a hearing to terminate their parental rights.

I don't have any baggage! - 37
That's right NO baggage.....never married, no kids, non-smoker, WAY over my last relationship, drama-free....I don't even have an ankle bitter dog! But I am a cute SWF, 5'4, educated, live in the Loop, have a great sense of humor and have many interests. Pic for pic...

Kelly blinked through the games and the cooing and all the pastel wrapping paper. Hung over, with sleep still in her eyes, she replayed her date last night. His deep-set dreamy eyes. The bottle of wonderful Vouvray and the impromptu make out scene on the corner outside her building. And as she picked at her plate of mini sandwiches and baby spinach salad, Kelly smiled across the room at her heavily pregnant friend Toni. But she couldn't wait to get home and drink Champagne in the bathtub — alone.

EGG DONORS WANTED. The Midwest's premier program seeks healthy, kind and committed women 21-31 to donate eggs. The Midwest's premier program arranges psychological, medical, and legal consultation in atmosphere of warmth and trust. Donors receive $7000 for their effort.

"Is it wrong to lie on your egg-donor application?" Camy asked her friend Lauren.

Lauren snorted. "You don't have a problem lying to your creditors."

"But I didn't get a 1500 on my SATs. I got a 1260. Or maybe an 1160," she said.

"Do they pay more for a high score? Then you should say you got a high score," said Lauren, to whom Camy owed $1700.

Camy scratched her head, bit her lip, and answered the question.

Thank you for choosing adoption. We are financially & emotionally prepared to give your baby a loving home and family, as well as a lifetime of opportunities. Call PARENTS (NUMBER) to discuss how we can help!

Keith and Susan tried for four years. And when they reached their fill of shots, pills and co-pays, they looked at each other and sighed. When Susan called to place the ad, she felt as though it was someone else reading the words to the clerk. They sounded tacky to her, like a Hallmark card. Next time, she'd have Keith call. Or just do it by fax. She had done enough in this baby-making war.

NO. 04JA00266
NO. 03JA00928
Baby Girl Ward
Child(ren) of Aunndria Bacon (Mother) AKA Audria Bacon
NOTICE IS GIVEN YOU, respondents, and To All Whom It May Concern that on June 24, 2003, a petition was filed under the Juvenile Court Act by RICHARD A. DEVINE in this court and that in the courtroom of Judge Sandra Otaka in the Cook County Juvenile Court Building, 1100 S. Hamilton, Chicago, Illinois on October 13, 2006 at 9:00 AM in CALENDAR 17 COURTROOM K or as soon thereafter as this case may be heard, an adjudicatory hearing will be held upon the petition to have the minor declared to be a ward of the court and for other relief under the Act. THE COURT HAS AUTHORITY IN THIS CASE TO TAKE FROM YOU THE CUSTODY AND GUARDIANSHIP OF THE MINOR, TO TERMINATE YOUR PARENTAL RIGHTS AND TO APPOINT A GUARDIAN WITH POWER TO CONSENT TO ADOPTION. YOU MAY LOSE ALL PARENTAL RIGHTS TO YOUR CHILD. IF THE PETITION REQUESTS THE TERMINATION OF YOUR PARENTAL RIGHTS AND APPOINTMENT OF A GUARDIAN WITH POWER TO CONSENT TO ADOPTION, YOU MAY LOSE ALL PARENTAL RIGHTS TO THE CHILD. UNLESS YOU appear, you will not be entitled to further written notices or publication notices of the proceedings in this case, including the filing of an amended petition or a motion to terminate parental rights. UNLESS YOU appear at the hearing and show cause against the petition, the allegations of the petition may stand admitted as against you and each of you, and an order or judgment entered.

September 5, 2006

Who knows the history of this child or the circumstances that led to this ad being placed. It's tragic and sad and awful. But the worst part is that there were several dozen of these ads the day I wrote this column. And only a few ads for people looking to adopt. And you wonder how the arithmetic ever, ever evens out.

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About the Author(s)

Shylo Bisnett loves ironing, baking, gardening and being a naughty housewife.

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