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TODAY

Saturday, June 15

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I got a credit card when I was 17. The first purchase I made with the card was for food, because I hadn't eaten in a day or two. During the next eight years, I used this and other credit cards thoughtlessly, racking up more debt than I ever thought I could stomach. And about a year ago, I said enough. No more buying on time! No more living off my credit card for three to five days between paychecks! I put together a budget and started paying off just under $10,000 in debt.

And today is the first day that I have been debt-free since I was 17. I never thought that being broke could feel so awesome.

I always felt ashamed that I owed money to anyone. At times, I even felt physically sick. I stayed up nights worrying, wondering how to pay it off, how I got in the position, and what would I do if I lost my job.

In the back of my head, I knew that I could always sell my eggs for a nice chunk of change. Guys, you can jerk off into a cup for a quick 50 bucks, but we gals have a veritable gold mine of ready-to-mix baby in our ovaries. Interested in making some coin? Just turn to the classified ads.

$5000 TO WOMEN who are healthy to be anonymous egg donors. Chicago's first/ most highly respected program is looking for women between the ages of 20-29. Donors will be evaluated, take medication and undergo minor surgical procedure. Serious inquiries only. Call ARR, 773-000-0000 or 847-000-0000. (Chicago Reader)

I had a friend who donated her eggs because she was ridiculously in debt. I'm sure it's the only reason anyone donates her eggs. You might say that you're doing it to help a childless couple conceive, but no woman would do it for free. This ad says that "donors will be evaluated." I am sure they are. But if the sole reason a donor is attracted to your program is so she can pay off a couple dozen pairs of Prada shoes, shouldn't that raise a few flags?

$3500 TO WOMEN who are healthy to be anonymous egg donors. Chicago's first and most highly respected program is looking for women between the ages of 20-29. Donors will be evaluated, take medication and undergo minor surgical procedure. Procedure is safe. Great opportunity for college students. Limited space is available so be sure to respond right away. Serious inquiries only. (Chicago Reader)

It's a good opportunity for a childless couple because hey, good fresh eggs. But why is this a great opportunity for college students? From what I know about the egg donation procedure, it's completely the wrong thing for a college girl to be doing. First, the practical aspect: In order for the company to harvest your eggs, you have to be pumped full of fertility drugs. And what do college girls like to do? Drink and have stupid, ill-considered sex with frat boys named Scott, who will be none too happy when you turn up preggers with 12 Scott, Jrs.

But also consider the emotional debate involved in egg donation. Men can create sperm for decades. We're born with all the eggs we're ever gonna get. What if you donate all your good ones and are left with duds? Wouldn't you wonder about the baby that's half you? Is it wrong to sell your parts for money? And I'm not sure a college kid is in the right frame of mind to consider all of this.

There are so many companies who are willing to buy a woman's eggs. Some specialize in Asian girl eggs, smart girl eggs, tall girl eggs. Eggs, eggs, eggs. All offering around $5,000. I thought about doing it a lot. But I always remembered my friend who had donated. She'd donated to a family, who had a child. Then they wanted another one, so she donated again. She probably earned about $8,000. And the family kept in touch with her and even sent her photos of the children. Although it reassured her in some ways, she felt just plain weird.

And maybe I'm overthinking it, but that seems like a very hard way to earn cash.

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About the Author(s)

Shylo loves ironing, baking, and dancing naked. She dreams of being a naughty housewife. Let her know what you think about Public Notice at .

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