Gapers Block has ceased publication.

Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
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TODAY

Friday, April 19

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Airbags

I’ve not wanted to leave my house for a while lately, preferring to work in the backyard, read on the couch or watch CSI and Law & Order. So I guess I forgot how enjoyable a conversation can be, how stimulating. I guess that sounds sort of stupid, but when most of your life is spent trapped in your head, it’s understandable, though not laudable, that your perceptions get kind of fucked up.

GB Editor-In-Chief Andrew Huff celebrated his birthday at his cool Northside two-flat and I got it together enough to attend. And I was glad to speak with friend of Gapers and Craig’s List reader Matt Peck. We got to talking about Missed Connections and he mentioned a particular ad someone placed about an encounter at a grocery store. I forget the pronouns, but there had been an actual exchange, and the ad was just “hey, I can do better than that.”

I’ve always stayed away from these ads, because I’ve believed that to properly have a missed connection, you must not speak to the object of your desire. But Matt disagreed, saying that you can meet someone, and circumstances just prevent a true connection from forming. And here’s where Craig comes in.

I’d never considered that before. So, this week, I give these sort of ads their due. Enjoy.

a broken silence - w4m - 20

For 8 months I've noticed you around. Today I finally spoke with you.

You probably won't read this but thank you for being so friendly. I'd really like to learn more (everything) about you. I'll make it a point to start talking with you more. The fact that you kept the conversation going was very impressive.

You have my intrigue

After seven cups of coffee, Leo finally had to break away to the bathroom. But Timothy was just adorable. Leo opened the door to the bathroom and just – couldn’t. And the longer he stood there trying, the more self-conscious he because that Timothy was sitting at the table, his coffee going cold and halfway through The Onion, wondering what the fuck had happened to Leo. That maybe he had some problem. Finally, Leo just turned on the faucet and thought about his bathroom at home, and what it would be like to keep Timothy’s robe on the hook by his own.

MC w/ Megan at St. Alphonsus - Sat. 4/16 5:30 Mass - m4w

We sat in the same row at Mass and shook hands a couple of times so I was able to get your name. You have a great smile and looked amazing in that dress, too - after Mass plans? I was going to talk to you outside afterwards but you seemed to be in a hurry to get somewhere.

I don't get to Mass there very often even though I live in the neighborhood so I figured this is worth a shot. Drop me a line and maybe we can meet up again sometime.

If God isn’t excuse enough to score digits, forget it. Couldn’t he have cornered her about the conclave? Asked her to join his pope pool? Jesus, Mc Fly.

But still, at times, even when you know for sure there’s something between you and another person, you can’t find your flint. Maybe it got wet on your last camping trip, or whatever. But keep looking.

Smokin Woody's Waitress - m4w - 2

I came in for some take out thursday afternoon, and became hypnotized by the infomercials. Anyhow, we had some great laughs, and wish I stayed and ate there instead of getting it to go. Were there sparks? Well hit me up if you would like to talk some more.

Sometimes guys at that shitty little bar up the street with the daily “under a buck” specials would come in and hit on Gwen. It’s not that she was ugly, but she just didn’t give off that thing to most people. But Jack noticed. And even though Gwen didn’t reply to his ad, he went back two more times until she finally got it.

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