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Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
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Tuesday, January 31

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News Mon Oct 27 2008

Sedaris on the Undecided

David Sedaris has a piece in this week's New Yorker musing about undecided voters and his own history with voting:

"I look at these people and can't quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention?

"To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. 'Can I interest you in the chicken?' she asks. 'Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?'

"To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.

"I mean, really, what's to be confused about?"

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Undecidedman / October 27, 2008 3:39 PM

The way I heard the joke, the stewardess says to the passenger: “Sir, I know you ordered the chicken, but it turns out the chicken’s been stuffed with shit and broken glass. Would you like to switch to pasta?” “No I’ll stay with the chicken,” says the passenger, “I don’t really like pasta.”

It may be that this joke is stolen since it's the same one we undecided voters tell about David Sedaris. More in the post entitled "Opens and Closes" at

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