Restaurant Sun Apr 27 2008

Substitutions Allowed

I've been thinking about this burger for the last three days, and wondering when I'd have the next opportunity to order it. I called a friend and asked about her plans for dinner tonight; she was free, so I suggested we walk over to Kuma's Corner. I needed a Mastodon burger. I deserved a Mastodon burger. BBQ Sauce. Cheddar. Bacon. Frizzled onions. YES.

Apparently the universe thought differently. We walked in and saw the hoardes of people crammed near the bar, waiting for a table. The place was hopping. The wait was almost 90 minutes. We could have driven to Wisconsin (in good traffic) with that kind of time. We looked at each other, wondering where our other dining options were. A small group of people entered and quickly exited Kuma's, disgruntled with the wait; "This is what happens when a cool restaurant gets on 'Check, Please!'," one of them muttered. You don't say? Well, restaurants need to make money, and this place deserves the attention, even if it's a bitch to get a table these days.

We decided to stay our ground and wait it out, but the rumblings from our stomachs were louder than the grindcore playing inside Kuma's. We glanced eastward on Belmont to the gleaming building that sat 50 feet ahead of us. "Okay," she said. "Let's go to Burger King."

I'm not against fast food, and hunger makes the best sauce, so we made it over to BK for a very tasty meal. It was cheap, and we sat there talking for quite a while, well past what any busy restaurant staff will allow during a crazy dinner rush. Best of all, I ordered a Rodeo Cheeseburger, the paste-eating cousin of Kuma's Mastodon; a burger with barbecue sauce, cheddar, and onion rings. While my dinner wasn't exactly what I planned, it worked. Even without Napalm Death blaring in the background.

P.S. We also got word that Kuma's is in the works to open a second location soon--in Las Vegas.

- Robyn Nisi