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Friday, September 29

Gapers Block

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Andrew / June 18, 2007 12:38 AM

Question suggested by Tatjana.

Maardvark / June 18, 2007 1:53 AM

I close my office door, curl up under my desk, and take a nap. The nap ends at the first of (a) my phone rings, (b) someone knocks on the door, or (c) it's 4:00.

Okay, I can only get away with that every now and then. Plan B is a coffee run. It's not good enough to go to the break room and get crappy office coffee--you have to get up, walk around, go outside, get some fresh air, and return with large quantities of high-quality caffeine. Where I work, that process can be accomplished in less time than our smokers take for their afternoon smoke break, so no one minds.

Oh, are you talking about the 3:00 a.m. slump? In that case, Red Bull and a burrito.

kate / June 18, 2007 8:54 AM

3 a.m. - a giant pile of blow.

3 p.m. - walk around the block and smoke.

Kristin / June 18, 2007 9:22 AM

I take a walk through Millennium Park with some Jamba Juice.

daruma / June 18, 2007 9:24 AM

SUGAR! Could be an iced cookie from Starbucks, brownie from Colby deli, or just a miniature Hersheys, but some kind of sugar is needed.

Mikey / June 18, 2007 9:28 AM

My work day ends at 3:30, so my slump hour hits around 1:30 or so...

At that time, I'll usually head downstairs, have a smoke and make a couple of phone calls, and then check my Little Lotto, Lotto and/or Mega Millions lottery tickets and buy the same for that evening's drawings...

anne / June 18, 2007 9:33 AM

I've been trying to boost my overall energy level lately by getting to the gym most mornings and riding my bike more often. Of course, this means I'm actually getting less sleep each night (b/c going to the gym means getting up an hour earlier), but I'm hoping that the exercise will lead to an energy boost will help me throughout the day (b/c coffee ain't cutting it anymore).

TaJ / June 18, 2007 9:50 AM

- put on a "Dancing Queen"- ABBA
that songs is a total juxtapose to my work and so happy-go-lucky
- get up
- strech
- chocolate
-oh yeah it less carbs around noon

Eric / June 18, 2007 9:52 AM

Some days, if I'm ahead in my work, I'll just leave. Short of that, however, I'll usually get some coffee or tea and then find some driving rhythms to pipe through my headphones such as KCRW's show Metropolis.

Sol / June 18, 2007 9:55 AM

Mostly youtube, but I save all my shopping-related interweb browsing for after 3. I can tell how bad the day is going if I am check Mightygoods before then.

Dave / June 18, 2007 9:56 AM

I save all the non-critical phone calls/followup emails I have to make/send until after 2.30pm.

Also closing the door to the office and turning up the music helps. But not during the phone calls, I mean.

paul / June 18, 2007 9:57 AM

I'm freelance and work at home, so a nap is easy. But since I work my own hours, that 3 oclock slump is more likely to be at 3am.

On days when I work on-site, I never eat lunch. Rarely did when I worked a full-time job.

I see every other worker eat some 12 inch loaf of carbs and a crash-inducing sugar water at noon and wonder how they can even continue breathing in the stale, rarified air of their cubicle warren.

spook / June 18, 2007 10:08 AM

This is an easy one. I click on to Gapers Block and see if I can stir up some trouble,
but as the topics have been sort of lame/noncontroversial as of late
, I head over to Chicagoist

skafiend / June 18, 2007 10:45 AM

Hit the gym. The adrenaline rush is a great way to cruise down to the end of the day. And slyly ogling the women working out in tight clothing helps to. I'm not a perv about it, but that rivulet of sweat running between the breasts is hot...

Bill V / June 18, 2007 11:10 AM

Yogurt and/or piece of fruit at about 3 everyday!

snuh / June 18, 2007 11:25 AM

toke up.

erin / June 18, 2007 11:28 AM

starbucks run. usually only on wednesday-friday. somehow i manage to make it through at the beginning of the week.

printdude / June 18, 2007 11:54 AM

No longer the loop-worker, I am afforded a lunch break where I can smack little white golf balls and that recharges me plenty well.
Okay, that combined with the two-or three pots of coffee I consume steadily throughout the day.

Jake / June 18, 2007 12:16 PM

Diet Coke.

CC / June 18, 2007 12:26 PM

I do okay around's the 9-11 am stretch that does me in. It usually involves a lot of poking around Gapers, Flickr, Wonkette, Defamer, Fug, etc. until I snap out of it and get working. It lasts a little longer on Mondays, of course--this post in case-in-point!

Off topic, can I just say that the Coburn article featured on Gapers right now is #$%ing ridiculous? Calling all your guy friends whores as a way to learn to flirt by calling girls whores? Sure, whatever. The article should be called How to Be a Moronic Chad.

Jill / June 18, 2007 12:42 PM

I'm with CC on the 9-11 AM slump (too much out there to read!)

3 PM....if it's bad, a second diet pop; otherwise maybe a CocoaVia or annoying my co-workers with the smell of microwave popcorn.

ahn / June 18, 2007 12:59 PM

the afternoon smoke break, unfortunately. one day i'll quit. sometimes i plug in the ipod and do some work that doesn't involve other people.

and i totally agree with CC about the coburn article. it's offensive trash of the kind i wouldn't expect to find on GB. wtf?!

skafiend / June 18, 2007 1:04 PM

Offtopic again...

who got an immediate visual image of the author and friends after reading that passage?

Back on topic...
Walking around Daley Plaza also helps, especially when they have one of their farmers market/fair things...

Sol / June 18, 2007 1:25 PM

I was wondering if I was the only one who thought that article was dumb. My faith in GP has been restored. Somewhat.

Back on topic: I take my lunch breaks late, too. And then go to Design Within Reach and drive the salesfolk crazy by trying out all the Bertoia chairs.

leah / June 18, 2007 1:27 PM

OT: Thank you CC! Maybe they are playing a trick. The site looks pretty budget or hilarious to me.

I like at the end how you're supposed to tweak the ribs you'd normally reserve for "flirting" with your guy pals for the ladies.

Like exchanging whore for slut? Is that what he means? Because I think I get it!

It's so out there it must be a joke.

I am so turned on when some guy jokingly calls me slutty. Ooh la la.

spence / June 18, 2007 1:54 PM

Wow, the Coburn article has got it all: boarderline mysogyny, homo-erotic overtones, and narcissism. It could have been an article in Maxim! Definitely a new direction for GB.

JillyBoo / June 18, 2007 2:07 PM

I had to go check out the offending article, and I'm in full agreement. He'd better pray that God ISN'T a woman.

HLHW / June 18, 2007 2:13 PM

Moronic Chad is redundant.

HLHW / June 18, 2007 2:15 PM

Moronic Chad is redundant.

JasonB / June 18, 2007 2:29 PM

Down to the snack shop for a big bulk bag of swedish fish.

Or peruse :)

Allan / June 18, 2007 3:05 PM

My whole day is a slump so first thing in the morning I stay in bed. Around 11 a.m. or 12 p.m. I think about getting out of bed but don't. Usually by 3 p.m. I have made it to the couch and take in some day time television while I think about all the food I can't afford any more. If it was not for password free wireless connection somewhere in my building I would not even have GB anymore. Being broke and jobless sucks. I wonder if the ladies find charity cases hot?

Blagg the Axman / June 18, 2007 3:19 PM

Prior to my days in exile, I found a little archery or light boxing to be a suitable eye-opener when the afternoons dragged on. Wandering the wilds, however, has a way of keeping one on one’s toes—the ill-timed snap of a twig is enough to set me on guard, no matter how long the afternoon, and the occasional life-or-death battles tend to snap me out of a daze. For this reason—and countless others—my hand never strays far from the ax-handle.

Judy / June 18, 2007 3:22 PM

well, it's 3:21 presently and I'm on Gaper's Block. I guess this is what I do.

Often, I'll try to go walk around outside. Stretch. nosh on something.

d. / June 18, 2007 3:42 PM

red bull! either am or pm. doesn't matter.

its gross and dumb and i shouldn't have it, but hey.

peanut / June 18, 2007 3:46 PM

Um, you're looking at it.

Also iced chai from Intelligentsia or a fistful of chocolate-covered espresso beans.

Judy / June 18, 2007 3:53 PM

"Also iced chai from Intelligentsia or a fistful of chocolate-covered espresso beans."

That sounds AWESOME.
I think that'll be my 4pm break...

spook / June 18, 2007 4:33 PM

Allan, Cheer up, I say! Cheer up sir! like Flaubert's Candide, it can always be worse! I mean I'm sure you enjoy fantasizing about all those wild women you get to watch on Jerry Springer right daily?

And for the downtown Gapers Blocker Dip Set, one dollar Dove Bars but only at the Walgreens across from Daley Plaza!

fluffy / June 18, 2007 4:47 PM

drink coffee & listen to music

bucky / June 18, 2007 4:49 PM



fig newtons.

C-Note / June 18, 2007 7:30 PM

I guess if your work doesn't matter, and you eat too much at lunch, it's easy to get bored. Personally, my work is interesting and there's plenty of it, but if there was a lull, I'd take a walk, get some coffee, yawn, whatever. If you spend most of your time working, and you find yourself slumping, maybe you should reevaluate how you spend your time; God forbid you wake up and find you've wasted your life, Ivan.

Happy PSO / June 18, 2007 7:57 PM

Phone Sex.

Judy / June 18, 2007 8:14 PM

I'm loopish!
Intelligentsia coffee is the place!

Andrew / June 18, 2007 11:33 PM

Re: this week's feature: Did you notice the line in the author's bio about him being a comedian?

Brandy / June 19, 2007 8:04 AM

To be a comedian you have to be funny.

Marco / June 20, 2007 9:54 AM

The Coburn piece is quite good. It gives great suggestions on how to effectively meet someone for both sexes in a short window of opportunity. I have read lots of his stuff since he recently came on the scene and some of the comments here remind me of and prove a very interesting point he makes in his book (which is excellent and I highly recommend.) "People's definition of disrespect amuses me. Which is truly disrespectful? A guy gawking at a woman in a bikini or a guy going over and talking to that same woman because he finds her attractive and thus wants to learn something about her?" (One of the best aspects of his book is that it challenges alot of notions like this that we've come to accept without really thinking about. It really makes you stop and think about all the misconceptions we've somehow created.) We all spend alot of our time in the summer at festivals or on the beach staring at someone. Is that not disrespectful? Is it not respectful to actually go over and talk to that person? Coburn gives us tips on how to do that so we can be respectful and you find fault with that? Nowhere does he say to hit on every guy or girl you meet. He simply gives you some tools to try to meet those you want. Your comments infer that he encourages men to try to get laid all the time by every woman. Far from the truth.

Did you read the feature before commenting on it? Did you think about what you wrote before commenting? Spence, you say it would make a good piece for Maxim. So you must read Maxim to know, which is, what, very respectful of women? Or do you just look at the pictures, which again is very respectful, right? I check out Maxim, over 2 million guys do each month, probably many who read Gapers Block, like you (I don't read Gapers Block. I'm here because Coburn put a link up to the article in his blog.) This advice would never be in Maxim because it is too honest and actually works. Maxim is more interested in making bad jokes, like encouraging you to say, "I'd like to hit a homerun with you" to a woman at a Cubs game. That is supposed to be good advice? Get real. Did some of you just read every sixth word of the article? There is not one place in which Coburn suggests you call a woman a whore or a slut. Not one. He calls a woman a "volleyball slut" which is completely different and in the right context, good flirting. I know. After reading that example in his book, I tried it at a softball game with a girl who subbed for our team for her 3rd game of the night. She laughed and at the bar after the game, where I invited her to go with my team (uh, another suggestion by Coburn), I got her number. Much more respectful than what most you guys do, which is leave the game and discuss her anatomy with your friends on the way to the bar, right? Right? And never say a word to her? Again, thank you for teaching the rest of us about true respect. (Like the guy who likes to see the sweat on a woman's cleavage at the gym. If he talked to those women, that would make him disrespectful? But staring at their cleavage, that's respectful? I'm not saying I don't do that; I am saying I'm not being respectful when I do.)

Misogynist is the hatred of women. Narcissism is the utter love of oneself. Where the hell did you get that from the Coburn feature? Those are pretty strong words to just throw around. Giving people ideas that he's used time and time again and knows work makes him a misogynist and a narcissist? And those other things you name are outlandish, too. Don't confuse misogyny with a woman being unwilling to accept a guy's advances, which is what I suspect you read into this, and which is again wrong. Show me where Coburn says anything about an unwilling woman. Again, nowhere.

Clearly, those who criticize the feature (in a very childish manner I might add) have better ideas and ways of meeting people at the popular summer haunts, where we often only have a split second to act. Okay, put your money where you mouth is. Let's hear your great ideas. Here's your chance to show your brilliance and your superior respect. Just to be clear, "Be yourself" is not a suggestion. You need to have something to break the ice, let the person know you're interested without scaring them away, and get a conversation going, all within like twenty seconds. Of course you can do all that as yourself but "be yourself" doesn't tell anyone how to do actually do it; it's just a lame cliche, cop-out answer that helps nobody. I can't wait to read all the ideas that will be pouring in.

I'm sorry to ramble on about this but these hazardous, ill-thought out statements piss me off. I hope those who liked the feature will speak out, if they even read these comments. Gapers should move the Coburn comments to the Coburn feature, to be sure those who read it read these comments. Finally, a paper comes out with some actual good ideas people can use and negative comments risk keeping them from putting up more such features. I for one thought it was great. BTW no one even brought up that Coburn gives just as many ideas in the article to women to meet men. ("I could really go for some ice cream right now" as a hint to the guy and giving him an open door to invite you for some ice cream on the spot.) Way to see only what you want and comment just on that. Do the women who want to meet men hate them, too? Geez, I guess we're all really gay or misogynists or men-haters. Thank you for opening our eyes! For intelligent conversations about Coburn's writings and his book, which is funny as hell, go to the book's site There are links there to discussions and reviews by actual readers and careful ones at that.

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