Gapers Block has ceased publication.

Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
 Thank you for your readership and contributions. 


Monday, April 15

Gapers Block

Gapers Block on Facebook Gapers Block on Flickr Gapers Block on Twitter The Gapers Block Tumblr


anon / January 16, 2006 12:28 AM

When I was at work, late after everyone else had gone home, I sometimes peed in the breakroom sink instead of going down the hall to the bathroom just so I wouldn't have to lock up the office while I was gone.

Andrew / January 16, 2006 12:33 AM

(Wow, that was fast.)

If you want to own up to a secret, feel free, but otherwise just call yourself "anonymous."

Anon / January 16, 2006 8:34 AM

Once Jay and Silent Bob stayed at my hotel and I saw them in the lobby as I got off work. I thought I knew where they might go to hang out and went there but they didn't. So I went to a lobby phone and asked for their room and Silent Bob answered. I asked for Jay and he handed him the phone! I just started babbling about how I saw him in the lobby and wanted to say hi. Then I hung up really fast. (I'm really not into the practice of stalking famous people I swear. I just thought they'd be cool to "hang out" with. Unfortunately, I never got to find out.)

j / January 16, 2006 8:38 AM

I have been systematically appropriating the archictecture and design magazines from the architect next door at work. I feel no guilt and will continue, nothing can stop me! Muahahahah

Anon / January 16, 2006 9:51 AM

I hate kissing her.

Anon, anon / January 16, 2006 10:05 AM

I threw up last night.

Anon / January 16, 2006 10:06 AM

before leaving my last place of employment, i smuggled out a bunch of boring business books that nobody was using. made a few hundred bucks selling them online.

thats also where i got my awesome desk lamp. it was hard cramming the pieces into my messenger bag, but i pulled it off.

anon / January 16, 2006 10:37 AM

i love chicago--and the life i've made here for myself--more than i love my partner.

anon / January 16, 2006 10:39 AM

More than a week ago, I filled out the reply card to volunteer to chair my 10 year high school reunion. I put a stamp on it, and put it in my bag, and have yet to drop it in a mailbox. I walk by dozens everyday, and each time I feel a twinge of regret for not mailing it...yet.

Anon / January 16, 2006 10:42 AM

I hate Chicago.

Anon / January 16, 2006 10:47 AM

They're real, and they're fabulous.

Lennie Briscoe / January 16, 2006 11:04 AM

I'm not really a detective...

anonymous / January 16, 2006 11:09 AM

Mayonnaise, ketchup, and relish.

anon / January 16, 2006 11:18 AM

I am single on purpose.

anon / January 16, 2006 11:55 AM

This thread is disturbing me. Wake me when it's over.

anon / January 16, 2006 11:58 AM

My shower head is my sexual partner.

H.S. / January 16, 2006 11:59 AM

In 1972 my crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime we didn't commit. We promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, we survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, and no one else can help...

anon / January 16, 2006 12:12 PM

i've rubbed one off at work before.

anon / January 16, 2006 12:25 PM

I was in love with my boss at my last job.

anon / January 16, 2006 1:07 PM

i read my ex-boyfriend's e-mail on a regular basis.

anon / January 16, 2006 1:10 PM

My previous neighbors upstairs were assholes, and so I'd occasionally take their magazines. After they moved out, their mail still came to my place and so whenever they'd get a box, I'd open it up to see if it was worth taking rather than marking 'return to sender'. I learned that they like J-Lo for music and collected little dolls. Bummer.

anon / January 16, 2006 1:31 PM

You know, some of the "anonymous" people still have their emails showing.

I just got engaged, and I love my fiancee, but I do love looking at other women.

anon / January 16, 2006 1:41 PM

I slept with someone at work. I didn't recognize myself at all during the whole thing. I drank too much and did and said filthy things that are totally unlike me. The only thing I feel that's as intense as the guilt because of my spouse who will never know is the incredible desire to do it again. But I won't because I am at least smart enough to know that it wouldn't be nearly as good the next time. I sometimes close my eyes and I can almost physically feel it again, and I'll never look at the co-worker, or my bosses desk the same again.

anon / January 16, 2006 1:46 PM

i make things up in conversations and insist that they are true. and people believe me.

anon / January 16, 2006 1:46 PM

I hate my sister's husband, and I am plotting on how to get her to divorce him. He is evil.

anon / January 16, 2006 2:21 PM

I am alone and lonely and do not know how much longer I will be able to sustain with this pit eating me away from the inside.

It hurts to wake and it hurts to see others and it hurts all day long.

anon / January 16, 2006 2:36 PM

When I read something like the above (posted at 2:21), my immediate and strong reaction is to try to seduce them. Maybe because I self-centeredly think I can save them by lying on my back, or ennui turns me on. I'm unbelievably glad that I don't know who the above person is, because I would be seriously tempted. Thank god I realized this before I went ahead with plans to become a therapist.

anon / January 16, 2006 3:03 PM

Dear 2:21pm:

You are not alone.

anon / January 16, 2006 3:03 PM

I have re-occurring dreams about other women when I sleep over at my girlfriend's place.

I think it's some kind of intimacy defense mechanism.

James Frey / January 16, 2006 3:04 PM

I made it all up.

anon / January 16, 2006 3:12 PM

i cheated.

anon / January 16, 2006 3:37 PM

I put urine in my ex-roommate's orange juice to get her back for being such an evil bitch 100% of the time.

anon / January 16, 2006 3:54 PM

i really have no problem sleeping with taken women - even if they are my friend's girlfriends.

anon / January 16, 2006 3:55 PM

I'm female and really love watching gay (men's) porn. I don't have any interest anything lesbian. (Just doesn't turn me on.)

anon / January 16, 2006 4:15 PM

I think of ex-boyfriends when I'm kissing him.

anon / January 16, 2006 4:17 PM

I've not had a boyfriend (or been out past a 3rd date) in 10 years (and i'm a stable, attractive, educated, employed individual with a rather large social circle, so I'm not sitting home bored), I can't quite figure it out. Thankfully it is something I refuse to lose sleep over, but I do get depressed about it sometimes.

anon / January 16, 2006 4:19 PM

I do a lot more than kissing him while thinking of others.

anon / January 16, 2006 4:39 PM

when an ex dumped me, i was bitter and wanted to get back at him (because i found out he cheated on me), so i called him and told him i had an std which would require him getting tested...which i hear is mightily uncomfortable for the men folk. and he deserved every ounce of pain he got. booyah!

anon / January 16, 2006 4:56 PM

I don't have lunch with the Pope on Tuesdays at Pizza Hut like I say in my personal ad.

anon / January 16, 2006 5:32 PM

like anon at 4.17, i have not had a boyfriend in years despite being stable, attractive, educated and employed. i have had chances, but instead i obsess over one unavailable guy for ages until i find another unavailable guy to obsess over.

anon / January 16, 2006 6:04 PM

I think I dated anon at 4:39. I took my chances and never got tested.

anon / January 16, 2006 6:30 PM

I used to say the n word all the time (I grew up on the southwest side).

anon / January 16, 2006 6:34 PM

~I am temping right now and at every assignment I take two things. One I keep for myself and the other I leave at my next temp assignment. For example, I might take post-it notes from one office and I will put them in the supply closet of my next assignment.
The game is to leave them and make sure that someone eventually uses them. It somehow amuses me that no one will ever know that the supplies that they are using are from another companies supply account.

~I could have wrote 4:17 myself.

anon / January 16, 2006 7:06 PM

I got liposuction, and didn't tell anyone.

anon / January 16, 2006 7:14 PM

hey, did anyone ever see the link for the website where people can mail in their secret on a postcard, and they post it up? I know there was an article about it in the redeye last year.

Eamon / January 16, 2006 7:28 PM

Great idea, but ultimately feels very fake. I much prefer FOUND, where the confessions aren't planned but happen just the same.

anonymous / January 16, 2006 7:30 PM

I'm so turned on by girls on crutches ....can't figure out why?

anonymous / January 16, 2006 7:50 PM

I wish my mother would die. She is monstrous, selfish, self-righteous and childish. She has turned my family into wreckage. I take care of her because I feel a duty to do so, but I really want her to die so I can be free. Everyone thinks I'm a saint.

anon / January 16, 2006 7:56 PM

- I lied. I had eyes for other girls. They were interested, she wouldn't have known and it would've been hot.

- I hate dating. I hate the game. If you're interested, fucking say so.

anon / January 16, 2006 8:03 PM

7:30, for the sake of every woman in your life, figure this shit out.

anon / January 16, 2006 9:18 PM

I'm having sex for the first time since 1997. In the intervening years, I've been perpetually attracted to the unavailable. It feels nice to be mutually attracted to a fellow available person.

anonandonandon / January 16, 2006 11:13 PM

I'm single despite being unstable, unattractive, uneducated and unemployed.

So, don't feel bad.

anon / January 16, 2006 11:15 PM

may i just say that this thread has been awesome?

anon / January 17, 2006 8:10 AM

She'd leave me in a heartbeat if he called and wanted her back.

anon / January 17, 2006 9:05 AM

I'm pregnant!

Only my husband knows. We're not telling anyone for another month, though.

anon / January 17, 2006 9:55 AM

Sometimes, when I masturbate in the men's bathroom in the office where I work, I imagine that I am a teenage girl being seduced and abused by much older men.

anon / January 17, 2006 10:01 AM

I horde prescription pills. I have ultram from eight years ago. I have a stockpiles of tylenol with codeine, and I still fill new prescriptions as I get them. My ex used to steal them from me sometimes, and I know because I read her email.

Anonymous / January 17, 2006 10:33 AM

My record? 10 times in one weekend. Oh I miss my 20s, when such feats were possible....

Anon / January 17, 2006 10:49 AM

I sleep with "fat chicks" despite the fact I really don't like looking at their naked bodies.

anon / January 17, 2006 11:08 AM

I am so painfully in love with one of my best friends that I have been walking around longing like I am some sappy bitch from a Jane Austen novel. He is in a relationship that is crashing and burning, and doesn't even live in this city anymore, and it takes every ounce of my strength not to shout my feelings from rooftops. I pray for the failure of his current relationship on a daily basis. I have been trying to date others, off and on, for a while and I keep leaving these guys because they're just not him. I feel like the biggest, lamest loser ever. And I probably am. Boo hoo. Wah wah wah.

anon / January 17, 2006 11:19 AM

5:32 that is EXACTLY me too.

Very, very relevant blog to this discussion:
Be careful, it's addictive.

anon / January 17, 2006 11:20 AM

Oops, just saw that Post Secret's already been linked...sorry...

anon / January 17, 2006 11:24 AM

I want to tell my friend whose depressed to just get over it. I'm sick of him feeling so sorry for himself. I won't tell him that, cuz he's depressed, but man. He's such a fucking drag to be around.

one of THOSE girls / January 17, 2006 11:36 AM

When I go to the UK, there is a much older, married man that I sleep with. A couple times a year, we see eachother, and he takes me out to dinner and buys me things. His wife has a myriad of health problems and I'm probably the only action he's gotten in years. I know he's in love with me, and I don't really care. I keep in touch with him because he's good in bed, even if he's kind of annoying to be around, he has money, and because maybe someday after his wife is dead, he'll marry me and make me a UK citizen.

anon / January 17, 2006 11:39 AM

I agree, this is the best freakin' Fuel ever!

I once made an audio recording of a fella that I was screwin' because he always got really energetic and said the nastiest things to me during the act. I wanted to be able to listen later and re-enact it by myself. He is unaware of the existence of such a recording.

A.n.o.n. / January 17, 2006 11:44 AM

I have had sex with about 75 people in the span of about ten years, and I have a list of all of them.

anon / January 17, 2006 11:45 AM

I used to have sex for money.

nona / January 17, 2006 11:54 AM

A list of sexual conquests, now why didn't I think of that? Dang!

J.C. / January 17, 2006 11:58 AM

I killed a man in Reno just to watch him die.

anonette / January 17, 2006 12:10 PM

I was waiting for a free bathroom, when my bf, told me to go into the mens room. I went in to my surprise to find a very well hung guy in the stall. He didn't see me, and I stared for a long time. I almost opened the stall door. I confess I think about (that guy's thing) all the time now. My bf's thing is no comparison.

anonona / January 17, 2006 12:10 PM

In college, I contracted venereal warts when I cheated on the current bfriend with an ex. I told the current that it can take 6-9 months for symptoms to appear (we'd only been together 4 months) and that I probably got it from the ex before current and I started seeing each other. The current never got it, fortunately, and I paid for my indiscretion with months of painful trips to the doctor to get the warts frozen off chemically. I couldn't sit properly for about 9 months and it was about a year and a half before I could have full-on sex again.

I was an idiot.

That was the first and only time I ever cheated on someone. Karma kicked my ass.

Anonymous / January 17, 2006 12:12 PM

i sometimes enjoy the humilation of others, sometimes in a sexual way.

anonnnnn / January 17, 2006 1:06 PM

my roommate is a spoiled, self-absorbed bitch who is always trying to prove that I'm wrong about everything and be the center of attention when my friends are over.

and so i steal her pot.

anon / January 17, 2006 1:16 PM

I feel like a fraud most of the time. And I am a successful, well-educated person with a job that most folks would love to have. But I'm pretty certain, everyday, that I will be found out.

anon / January 17, 2006 1:44 PM

Dude, 1:16, I totally know what you're talking about. Almost any girl's parents would be thrilled if she brought me to dinner. And I'm not evil or anything like that.

But the fact of the matter is that I'm a total fuck up. I figure it's just a matter of time before I end up a homeless person.

Anonymouse / January 17, 2006 1:45 PM

there iz this bookstore near me that is open only on weekendz. yesterday i walked past it and saw that someone had left a stack of books by the front door. so i took a few.

anon / January 17, 2006 1:48 PM

I'm 33 years old and I never learned how to play chess.

Anon / January 17, 2006 2:19 PM

like 1.16 2:36, i have a strong desire to seduce a lot of the vulnerable girls posting here. sick, isnt it?

fraud / January 17, 2006 2:20 PM

1:16- same here. I should win a Golden Globe Award for my portrayal of a competent human being.

anon and on / January 17, 2006 2:25 PM

I think I am going to sleep with an old girlfriend - we're both married but it still seems like a good idea

Anon / January 17, 2006 2:36 PM

I'd much rather have an ugly girlfriend with big tits than a beautiful girlfriend with no tits. And I know this from experience.

anony / January 17, 2006 2:38 PM

I didn't ask "so, do you have a girlfriend?" nearly soon enough.

And I didn't completely stop what I was doing after I got an answer.

anon / January 17, 2006 2:43 PM

1:16 and 1:44, I feel the same way. Maybe we'll see each other at the shelter some day.

anon / January 17, 2006 2:45 PM

I hate my coworker. He's as dumb as a rock, lazy, and doesn't do shit at work. I wish he'd get fired. He thinks we're friends but he has no clue how little respect and what an intense dislike I have for him.

anon / January 17, 2006 2:47 PM

I have big tits and I hate them. They make me feel fat and sloppy (I'm not overweight), not sexy at all. All they get me is unwanted attention.

anon / January 17, 2006 2:52 PM

I owe almost $20K on my credit cards.

I'm so jealous of my friend, "the fuckup's," life. I even thought about him sexually for about 5 minutes one drunken night 3 years ago.

I did love her, and never said so, and now I wish I had.

anon / January 17, 2006 2:59 PM

I'm so underpaid it's embarassing.

anon / January 17, 2006 3:00 PM

Intercourse is always very painful because of health problems (God can be quite cruel.)

My doctor told me to find a guy who loves me enough to help me work through this problem.

Hell hasn't frozen over yet so I've learned how to fake a very convincing orgasm.

Anon / January 17, 2006 3:04 PM

I still love him and want to be with him despite everything he has done.

Anon / January 17, 2006 3:07 PM

I accidentally found a summer camp roomate's condoms. I then purposefully poked a needle hole in one of them. Don't know why.

ANONY / January 17, 2006 3:09 PM

I am young and seemingly at the apex of my career. Like earlier posters, I feel that my comeuppance is right around the bend and that I will wind up with a landscaping gig.

anon / January 17, 2006 3:09 PM

I also have big tits and a normal body....they make me feel huge and I wonder if it would be easier finding a date if they were gone. i know that is pathetic.

anon / January 17, 2006 3:10 PM

My boyfriend won't have sex with me. I think about cheating on him all the time.

Leo / January 17, 2006 3:11 PM

I am afraid all the time.

I am afraid of everything.

And. . I'm a Leo.

anon / January 17, 2006 3:11 PM

I secretly picture people that frequently post on this site....wonder what they look like...mainly if they are single. I want to go to a Gaper's Block party at the bar, but am too scared....

Anon / January 17, 2006 3:12 PM

I feel like a failure at life and that on my death bed I will come to realization that I've accomplished absolutely nothing of meaning.

And, I think most people think I'm much smarter than I really am. I know how to bullshit well.

anon / January 17, 2006 3:14 PM

I'm scared I'm crazy.

Anon / January 17, 2006 3:14 PM

sometimes, i secretly wonder what the actual guy at is going to do with all the spam he's about to get

anon / January 17, 2006 3:22 PM

1:16, i so agree that for a second i thought i'd posted that and forgotten i'd done it.

and adding to that is that although i love my spouse, i keep falling hard for other people and i can't stop. i never act on it, but still...

likeavirgin / January 17, 2006 3:22 PM

Listening to "live to tell" by madonna always makes me want to paint.

I am a hipster.

anon / January 17, 2006 3:26 PM

I'm too boring and stupid to hang out with the calibur of people I want to be friends with. But I won't hang out with people like me.

I sound like Woody Allen.

anon / January 17, 2006 3:26 PM

I have posted multiple times on this thread.

My sister's husband tried to make out with me when he was drunk. I'm scared to tell her.

anon / January 17, 2006 3:33 PM

sometimes i wish i was white

A Nonymous / January 17, 2006 3:45 PM

I fall for straight guys. I am a gay man. Not only do I fall for them but I concoct plans in my head on how to get them to fool around with me...but never go through with the plans.

I watch what I think about because I always feel like someone is reading my thoughts.

anon / January 17, 2006 3:46 PM

3:12, that's how I feel. My suspicion is that one of the two following possibilities is true in my case.

1. While other people who are as intelligent or more intelligent than I am usually don't put much thought into what they say, because it doesn't mean anything to them, I try to outthink EVERY interaction I have. Therefore, people I talk to think I'm smarter than I am just because I always try hard where others don't. If anything, I'm good at keeping tidbits of information in my head that I can refer to when relevant. Unfortunately, my knowledge is shallower than a wadi in summer.

2. People I interact with know I'm straining to appear intelligent, so they humor me by implying that they think highly of my intellect. The reality is in fact that they feel I'm a complete moron.

While I'm confessing, here's a good one. No one, especially my wife and my employers, knows that I dropped out of high school without even completing sophomore year. Needless to say, this would probably be the reason why I have to try so hard...

I hate myself in the way only a complete fraud can...

anon / January 17, 2006 3:56 PM

I didn't think Lou Brock was going to amount to much, so I traded him.

anon / January 17, 2006 3:57 PM

I don't have much compassion; I'm pretty heartless.

I overcompensate by volunteering a lot.

soumy nona / January 17, 2006 4:01 PM

In the immediate aftermath of our generation's Pearl Harbor, I was very disappointed in the lack of good 9/11 jokes.

somebody / January 17, 2006 4:04 PM

I try my damnedest to make people fall in love with me, then I lose interest.

anon / January 17, 2006 4:08 PM

I am narcissistc and have relatively little interest in the lives of others. I act without thought for how it will affect those around me, I never return phone calls, I break plans consistently, and still I wonder why I am single and drifting on this rock alone...

nonnie / January 17, 2006 4:08 PM

Even though I love him more each day, sometimes I think I'd love myself more if I'd broken up with him years ago.

anon / January 17, 2006 4:12 PM

I don't think New Orleans should rebuild. The city will flood again and more people will die or lose everything they own.

anon / January 17, 2006 4:14 PM

After years of feeling undesirable and being passive, I can now approach and seduce rather easily...But, after a month or three of screwing and feeling warm, I either dump her or provoke her into dumping me, because I *still* feel that I'm undesirable.

ugh / January 17, 2006 4:27 PM

I wanted to be married with a family by now. I've always suspected that where I am has less to do with shyness and more to do with all of the screwed up and reckless people out there playing games, lying to and disrespecting people, deluding themselves, abusing others with their unresolved issues. This thread is proof that my suspicions were true.

anon / January 17, 2006 4:31 PM

ugh: So the thread is proof that your situation is not your fault, but everyone else's? Golly! That's convenient.

anon / January 17, 2006 4:31 PM

i obsess over my weight,though no one would ever know. i think about it constantly and feel bad after i eat almost anything. even though i am not overweight i feel huge and think men wouldn't be attracted to me.

anon / January 17, 2006 4:32 PM

I used to think I was the most fucked up person in Chicago until I read this thread. Now I can hold my head high in the knowledge that I am not nearly as screwed in the head as I think. Thanks GB!

anon / January 17, 2006 4:36 PM

i really want a baby. but i am afraid to tell my husband because i know he's not ready. and i think all the time about "accidently" getting pregnant.

ugh / January 17, 2006 4:48 PM

No, just that it's not all my fault that I've had some entanglements with some pretty screwed up people. Cheating, puzzling brush offs and other assorted disses, other really nasty meanspirited stuff. Sometimes, you start to think it's all you, that's all. Also, I didn't write my post well - - it was meant to be semi-sarcastic. We're all screwed up. We've all done bad stuff. Screwed up people who've done bad stuff can find happiness too (cue soundtrack). Goodnight and goodluck.

anon / January 17, 2006 4:48 PM

i am 30 years old and a failure, personally, creatively and most of all professionally. and i'm sick to death of bitchy yuppies. even if your comeuppance is right around the corner or whatever, right now you're a winner and i'm a loser. you might as well fucking enjoy it.

anon / January 17, 2006 4:50 PM

Sometimes I feel that anonymously posting your secrets will create more clicks and ad revenue for Gapers Block than arguing about the smoking ban.

anon / January 17, 2006 4:51 PM

I secretly laugh at the boring lives of my married, suburban friends even though I publicly claim to be envious of them.

anono / January 17, 2006 4:52 PM

I'm sleeping with a dumb guy (well, non-intellectual) who's hot and a really smart guy that's ugly.

Also, if the ugly guy were even remotely good looking, I would be madly in love with him.

anon / January 17, 2006 4:55 PM

I too feel like a lot of people think I'm smarter than I really am. I have a good vocabulary and a splendid ability to absorb and regurgitate information. This simply makes me a good bullshitter, but all that intelligent. I also know people who are much smarter than me and feel like they see right through my act, but simply play games with me because it amuses them.

Andrew / January 17, 2006 4:58 PM

Anon 4:50 -- if only more people actually clicked on the ads, we'd be hundredaires.

who are you / January 17, 2006 5:08 PM

I think we should sterilize everyone on welfare.

a non / January 17, 2006 5:10 PM

my best friend's sister and i are in love with each other.

and he has no idea how serious it is.

anon / January 17, 2006 5:12 PM

I love this topic. It's so nice when people let down their totally put-together fronts. It's comforting for everyone to realize that they're not the only one doing/thinking/feeling something fucked up.

anon / January 17, 2006 5:17 PM

11 days ago, the condom fell off.

Even though he didn't finish, I have spent the majority of the past 11 days worrying that I'm pregnant.

Especially for the past three days, where my boobs have been hurting like a mofo.

anon / January 17, 2006 5:20 PM

Contrary to 4:51, i publicly decry the lives of my married friends with kids and cars and lawns and how their reckless and selfish procreating is leading to the downfall of the american society. Secretly, this is a convenient front for the fact that i'm not married, own a house, or have a baby.

anon / January 17, 2006 5:21 PM

I'm jealous of many of my friends.

anon / January 17, 2006 5:29 PM

While I LOVE Chicago, I feel that most of the people I've met here are kind of assholey...seems so many are either dumb frat-boy yuppies who over-consume or are hipster wannabes trying to prove how fucking smart they are.

Either way, whenever I'm in a social setting it more often than not ends up feeling like a giant dick-waving fest.

I think this thread only proves that we all should fucking cut the shit and be more honest. We are ALL inferior.

anon / January 17, 2006 5:58 PM

I chose material wealth over love. Then I realized I was wrong. My lover left me.

I still walked away from the material and now I am the loneliest I have ever been in my life.

I wish I could be like everyone else and just pretend that being normal makes me happy.

I shop for shoes when I am depressed.

I still dream of cute boys in far off lands.

I am too sensitive to others disappointment in me.

anon / January 17, 2006 6:13 PM

I love him more than I've ever loved anyone and I know that he loves me. He gets scared and pushes me away. I know I cannot put myself through this anymore but I don't know if I'm strong enough to let him go...

anon / January 17, 2006 6:14 PM

god, i love this post. makes me feel like i'm NOT a fucking disaster.

2nd post: sometimes, i just wish i could find a fuck buddy until i've accomplished some the things i want in my life. and while i know that's a retarded approach to "love," i think about it ALL the time.

saying that "in public" makes me realize how selfish it is.

i've even tried turning ex's into fuck buddies to no avail.

anon / January 17, 2006 6:17 PM

I haven't slept with anyone for five plus years. And I seem to be attracted to unavailable/ unattainable women.

anon / January 17, 2006 6:19 PM

01.17.06, 06:13 PM

I am on the other side of that equation. Remarkable.

anon / January 17, 2006 6:32 PM

This makes me feel so much better about my life. And it makes me wonder about how many people keep up so many fronts to mask their problems.

I am so freaked out about getting a std and being lied to about that, that I can't allow myself to sleep with anyone ever again. I am afraid that after having been deceived by one person, I will never, ever be able to trust another man again, and I hate this person for doing this to me.

5:29, I wholeheartedly agree.

anon / January 17, 2006 6:33 PM

01.17.06, 06:19 PM

I don't understand. What is it that you are so frightened of? Why push someone away that you love?

anon / January 17, 2006 6:40 PM

Indecision is killing me. I am paralyzed by life's big choices, afraid I'll fuck up and waste time by choosing the wrong path, but ultimately wasting time by NOT DOING ANYTHING. I'd like to be bold enough to change this.

anonymous encore / January 17, 2006 6:42 PM

I don't know if I'll ever get over him.

I throw up in my bathtub.

I trim my pubic hair with my roommate's scissors.

and, like so many of you, I think that everyone's perception of me is wrong. I'm not who they think I am.

nony / January 17, 2006 6:46 PM

I hate the smell... of down *there*

anon / January 17, 2006 6:54 PM

01.17.06, 06:33 PM

Fear. Fear that being involved will prevent me from doing the things I want with my life; fear of turning into the lame married friend; fear that it won't work out; fear that if I get involved now I won't be able to provide the sort of lifestyle to a family that I want for myself; fear of making myself vulnerable again; fear that there is somebody else out there for me; fear that I won't be able to travel like I want; that we will become acrimonious; fear that she is older then me (more kid pressure); fear that she will want to go home early (the first symptom); fear that she will start yelling at me for smoking pot sometimes; fear of being semi-responsible for another; fear that she will plump up and what I would do if that happened (yes, I'm well aware that is ridiculous); fear that I might want to spend a few more years partying like a rock star and she will want to settle down.

All of that at once.

anon / January 17, 2006 7:13 PM

I stopped dating years ago because I figured I would always get eclipsed by some guy cooler/smarter/wealthier/better than me.

anon / January 17, 2006 7:17 PM

I, who am honest to a fault, who can't lie worth a damn, am heartbroken that I have to work my ass off to get a woman to trust me.

anon / January 17, 2006 7:23 PM

Wouldn't it be great if we all met up somewhere?

Crickets would be chirping.

anon / January 17, 2006 7:24 PM

I wish my boyfriend would lose some weight.

I would like to date his friend, but I know that if we ever broke up, his friend could never date me anyways. Sometimes when we fight, the only reason I don't break up with him is because I like our apartment and it would be a drag to move out.

anon / January 17, 2006 7:28 PM

I'm so afraid I'm going to keep dumping decent enough boys because I feel there's someone out there whom I will have a stronger connection with.........only to end up with a real loser.

I also fear that I will waste my life because I have *so* many things I want to do that I always end up doing nothing.

anon / January 17, 2006 7:31 PM

I watch tv four hours a day.

Anon / January 17, 2006 7:38 PM

I work in the administrative office of a homeless shelter, but every day before work I go to dunkin donuts to buy a bagel and I absolutely refuse to ever give a penny to the homeless guy who is holding the door all the time.

anon / January 17, 2006 8:11 PM

I am a waste of potential...

Growing up, I was the 'A' student, the "kid who was going somewhere," the "brain..."

I am now 36 years old, still renting and in debt, and in a crappy job I could care less about...

It's not that I'm lazy; it's just that I don't give a shit. At some point, I missed my "calling." Why didn't I see the signs? Maybe I should be in Africa right now with the Peace Corps. Or maybe I should be living in Oregon and running my own yoga studio. Or maybe I should be in Japan teaching english. One thing I do know for certain is that I am not cut out for corporate America. Too much of my soul has already been sucked out and I'm not getting any younger...

I need to get my shit together, and soon...

anon / January 17, 2006 8:16 PM

i love american idol.
even though i'm 35, i maintain my indie cred.
but i love kelly clarkson, and i can't stop watching this show.

anon / January 17, 2006 8:17 PM

How many of these secrets are mine? So many.

Count me as one of the alone and lonely, underchallenged and unmotivated, desperate and oversensitive.

I love you all.

anon / January 17, 2006 8:23 PM

My girlfriend of three months keeps threatening to walk out if I ever smoke pot again...

The funny thing is... she thinks that I only smoke occasionally when I'm out hangin' with the guys. The reality is that I buy my own weed and smoke almost daily...

If she walks, she walks. I'll stop smoking pot when I'm damn good and ready to. In the meantime, I'll just continue to lie...

anon / January 17, 2006 8:38 PM

I'm really glad the bears got knocked out of the playoffs. Otherwise there'd be a bunch of jagoffs crowding up lakeshore drive and generally being drunk and obnoxious.
only the white sox are allowed to be winners because football is stupid.
and i think that the new soldier's field is an embearassment and shouldn't get any attention.

Anon / January 17, 2006 8:40 PM

Back when I used to go to raves, I collected a whole set of secrets, but this one is the hardest.

I bought a bunch of sparklers and gave one to a guy who lit it. It exploded and burned his hand pretty badly. I still get a tight feeling in my stomach when I remember it.

anon / January 17, 2006 8:50 PM

I have a twelve year old daughter that I only just found out about two months ago. I’ve been putting off telling my fiancée out of fear; she has a college age daughter that I love as if she were my own, how peculiar.

Anonymous / January 17, 2006 8:52 PM

My body eats bullets. Meaning: I can't be stopped, I'm invincible. I'll say it again: MY BODY EATS BULLETS, BITCH!

lorelai / January 17, 2006 8:54 PM

8:50 p.m.: I can't believe you don't want to get married on June 3rd!

anon / January 17, 2006 8:59 PM

Sometimes I am SO dumb. Like after I first began reading some of these posts, I was wondering who this COMPLETELY fucked up person, Anon, was, and if he was straight or gay because he seemed to flip-flop...

anon / January 17, 2006 9:10 PM

Lorelai, I just need some time.

anon / January 17, 2006 9:57 PM

I have 70k in student loans because I was the first person in my family to go to college and had no clue what I was doing. I have resigned myself to never being able to buy a house because of them. It makes me angry and depressed wondering if I should have just gotten a blue collar job, hell, I know people who work in factories that make more than I do.

anon / January 17, 2006 11:00 PM

I do not want a house.
I do not want to be married.
I do not want kids.

I am happy.
I am totally cool with my non-traditional, "abnormal" life.

anon / January 17, 2006 11:08 PM

this is the 1st post i've read from top to bottom.

i feel better about myself after reading these posts.

i fear that at some point in the future there wil come a time where i will have to kick a friends ass because of him hitting on my wife...i know it will happen...i just dont know which friend...

anon / January 17, 2006 11:11 PM

though i dont feel like i'm in my 30s, when it hits me i feel like a failure because i'm still renting, have lots of debt...i fear that my wife will figure out i dont really have it going on and will leave me for someone better...

anon / January 17, 2006 11:12 PM

these posts fascinate me

anon / January 18, 2006 12:19 AM

Music makes me feel better than sex with anyone ever has. And I've had really good sex.

anon / January 18, 2006 12:22 AM

01.17.06, 11:00 PM -- Right on!

Anon / January 18, 2006 12:31 AM

7:28, im a guy, and i could have written that.

except, you know, about decent enough girls.

i fall for girls that are great on paper. the idea behind ms. 7:28 is romantic to me. maybe she's my soulmate, because i want to do so much i feel paraalyzed, too.

i have a girlfriend, and she's great, but i always feel like i could be doing better.

anon / January 18, 2006 7:30 AM

I feel like a fraud. It's only a matter of time until people find out that I bullshit my way through life.

Other people think I'm this intelligent witty guy, but I'm not who they think I am.

anon / January 18, 2006 7:34 AM

I hate the way I look. I hate the way I feel. I hate that I have one nighters to satiate the labido. I hate that the one I have feelings for a) isn't of my orientation b) doesn't have those feelings back. I hate that there's no love in my life. That's not a life. That's an existence.

anon / January 18, 2006 9:01 AM

I knew when I was a teenager that I didn't want children, and I still, quite firmly, hold onto that belief. But I do want to get married, and I wish I was married already.

anonymous / January 18, 2006 9:04 AM

I wish I had the sexual craving that I had back when I was 18 years old. I feel like I'm letting my significant other down when I turn down sex all the time. And it has nothing to do with our relationship. In fact, I hardly masturbate anymore either.

anon / January 18, 2006 9:41 AM


I totally agree with you. I'm not a huge fan of children and I don't think I want to have one. I don't hate them, but I don't like to spend a lot of time with them. My version of hell: driving my 2.5 children around in a mini-van.

anon / January 18, 2006 9:45 AM

I have heard the voice of God and came really close to becoming possed by a demon. Most people dismiss this as crazy and I would be among them if it had not happened to me. Ever since then the world does not seem the same to me but there is almost no one who I can tell this to without them thinking I am crazy.

anon / January 18, 2006 9:51 AM

I'm prouder of my big penis than of any of the good things I've done.

anon / January 18, 2006 10:07 AM

I married too early.

hey nonny / January 18, 2006 10:15 AM

I once met Andrew Huff at a lissenup party and thought he was really cute. And I know he's a smarty-pants, so that made him even cuter...

TinyAnon / January 18, 2006 10:24 AM

My penis? Not so big. But for the dozen women that have spent quality time with it, that has not been a problem.

anon / January 18, 2006 10:24 AM

I am only sexually excited by black people.

Money problems get me more upset than they should.

I drink way too much, sometimes blacking out.

I am afraid that if I ever took drugs I would be an instant addict.

anon / January 18, 2006 10:57 AM

I worked my ass off during school at an office job and destroyed my GPA, my credit and my health as a result of working+drinking+burnout. After 6months on unemployment I finally got a new job, re-enrolled in school and dramatically reduced my drinking. That very weekend I got into a DUI accident with an off-duty cop who chased me down and destroyed my car with his. I'm probably going to go to jail for this and will probably fail school and lose my new job as a result.

Funny thing is, I'm not worried about it. I go to school and work everyday as if nothing has happened. My trial is on valentines day. I'm 24.

anon / January 18, 2006 11:09 AM

I can't manage to meet guys who'd want to be with me. Instead, I meet men online and chat with them in a sad attempt to make myself feel connected to the opposite sex. It's a pathetic replacement for having a boyfriend, but I'm afraid of never being loved, so chatting with some guy I'll never meet on the other side of the country makes me feel better for 20 minutes or so.

I'm afraid to have sex anymore because the last two men I was with stopped talking to me after sleeping with me. I never thought this would make me feel as badly as it does. How did my skill in bed somehow become the only factor in deciding my self-worth?

anon / January 18, 2006 11:37 AM

I think children are boring. I have a lot of pregnant friends right now and friends who have just had babies, and I can't actually see myself staying friends with these women. I don't want to hang out with their kids or hear about their kids or pretend to be interested in their kids.

anon / January 18, 2006 12:22 PM

He calls me once every 2 months or so when he wants to fuck. He tries to make it seem like it's a social visit, tries to pretend we're friends, but it's not. He just wants to fuck me and then ignore me.

And I let him do it because I'm in love with him.

anon / January 18, 2006 12:24 PM

I think I've found my partner. It feels good and a little scary.

Mrs. / January 18, 2006 12:27 PM

I'm happily married with a 5-year-old kid. I'm trying to line up a long-distance boyfriend and I flirt online with younger men. My husband knows and he's okay with it all--he's incredibly secure, isn't he? My friends also know. But my relatives? They'd freak out. There are a lot more people out there in open relationships than most people realize...

anon / January 18, 2006 12:29 PM

i'm still in love with emily kane.

anonabrut / January 18, 2006 12:31 PM

Sometimes I feel like this "Fuel" has gone on long enough, and crave a new prompt to respond to.

anon / January 18, 2006 12:37 PM

When I was still with one of my exes, he received two copies of a very rare and valuable cd, made by a band that we both loved. He loved money more than me, however, so he decided to keep one and sell the other one on ebay. Before he had a chance to do that, I stole it and I still keep it hidden, although I never talk to him. But I have heard through the grapevine that he is still upset that he "lost" his prized cd and is bummed about all the money he could have got for it. And this makes me feel wonderful.

nonny nonny no / January 18, 2006 1:01 PM

I tormented an older, technologically fearful, former co-worker by changing her cell phone ringtone periodically. Her kids and grandkids called her dozens of times a day, her desk was near mine, and I hated the ringtones she picked, so when she was away from her desk, I would sneak over and change it to something innocuous and quiet. She would always carry on a conversation with whoever was within earshot about this baffling cell phone behaviour. She even called 611 once to try to find out how to make it stop changing ringtones. Every so often she would have one of her grandkids change the tone back to the one she liked, being unable to change any of her phone's settings on her own.

I had conversations with her about it, always remarking about how strange it was that her phone just changed randomly like that...

anon / January 18, 2006 1:09 PM

I cheated on my boyfriend with my boss, and broke up with said boyfriend for him, and then he dumped me. I thought I was in love with him.

anon / January 18, 2006 1:10 PM

1.18.06 11:09 am-It's not a "skill" thing, it's a conquest thing. And I bet they did it to lots of other women too. Hell, I'm a woman and I've done it to men, it's just one of those crappy things that people do to one another.

Live your life unafraid of love, unafraid of taking a chance, unafraid of making mistakes.

All these posts should make it abundantly clear that we're all pretty f**ed up in one way or another.

anon / January 18, 2006 1:27 PM

I had sex in the bed of a notorious slum lord when his son hooked up with me at a performance space in the basement of Links Hall. The living quarters were at Roscoe & Sheridan, filled with an impressive collection of Russian religious icons. I had a truly mind-blowing orgasm.

anon / January 18, 2006 1:30 PM

I'm sleeping with a neighbor. And he's 6 years younger than me.

anon / January 18, 2006 2:32 PM

When my girlfriend gets depressed, I get very annoyed while maintaining a sensitive exterior.

At times her pessimism is like a weight around my neck. I have been through depression and I know how it goes but sometimes I wonder if I can be with someone like this.

anon / January 18, 2006 2:39 PM

I used to love being in a show choir.

anon / January 18, 2006 2:58 PM

I think I am in love with an ex who is now my friend who I talk to nearly every day but I hardly ever see and we no longer live in the same city. I always worry I might not find her physically attractive because we have already been together and we now have a decently strong friendship and that I couldn't see her in a physical or sexual sense.

But I can't think of of my strong feelings for her to be anything other than some undeniable love and admiration.

I would say something except I don't think she has been too interested in me and I am seeing someone now.

anon / January 18, 2006 3:05 PM

i want to die at 40. but im only 25 now. it has to do deperately wanting to be in love and fear that it wont happen or that i will get sick of it.

anon / January 18, 2006 3:11 PM

I have a very high sexual drive that my significant other can't satisfy. Even though I wouldn't ever cheat, I look at porn a lot a lie about it.

a n o n / January 18, 2006 3:27 PM

"Speak and let the worst be known
Speaking may relieve thee"

The last line of an old hymn. It fits, I think.

anon / January 18, 2006 4:13 PM

It's spanking the monkey that relieves mee.

anon-e-muss / January 18, 2006 8:26 PM

I pray every night before bed to die before I wake up...I don't believe in God so maybe that's why it never happens, though I really, really wish it would

anon / January 18, 2006 9:51 PM

1.18.06, 8:26 PM

I am so glad to hear that I am not the only person who does that.

I believe in God and obviously I'm still here.

A_n_o_n / January 18, 2006 11:23 PM

im eating birthday cake and its not my birthday. i eat a lot. i'm overweight and fear i'll be alone forever because of it.

Anon / January 19, 2006 11:34 AM

at my old job I used to hide in the bathroom stall and masturbate as quietly as possible. sometimes other people would use other stalls and I'd feel totally liberated knowing that they had no idea what I was doing...

anon / January 19, 2006 2:33 PM

i have been reading my ex-roommates email for a year. we used to be friends until i found out and that she was a complete backstabber and a compulsive liar.
she now lives out of state. i still read her emails as part of my morning routine (check my calendar, read the paper, check my email, check HER email...)she sends her bf dirty pictures of herself. they talk nasty to each other while at work. she is an utter fraud in her profession. she's passed other people's work as her own. right now, she is afraid she's pregnant but has only mentioned this to her neighbor. we'll see what happens next week...

anon / January 19, 2006 3:16 PM

Hey 1.19.06 2:33 pm,

I think you need to let go of your ex-roomate. Save your energy for something, you know, more positive. So what if she's a fraud and sends dirty pix to her bf? Wouldn't it make you happy to one day realize that you hadn't thought about her in 6 months? Being reminded of how pathetic and annoying she is can't be a good way to start your day.

Sorry, I know this forum isn't the place for judgement or lectures, but it made me cringe when I read that. It would be such a simple thing for you to resolve to stop checking her email (see the next thread!). Not as a favor to her, but to yourself.

Anon. / January 20, 2006 4:02 AM

I am afraid of marrying a white girl.

beater / January 25, 2006 8:36 PM

Sometimes I secretly masturbate in the restroom at work.

anon / January 27, 2006 10:47 PM

I didn't want to break up. I acted so strong and sounded like I really knew what I was talking about during our last conversation. I think I did it because I knew you were feeling 'unsure' and you needed to end it. I just can't take it now. You're back online looking for new girls and I want to melt away.

anon / May 30, 2006 7:35 PM

I puked today and i'm not telling Frank, it upsets him.

Anon / June 6, 2006 8:11 AM

I can't wait until college starts so I can cheat on him again.

c / June 9, 2006 9:10 PM

compare to all these other people, mine is stupid. i wish i could have someoen tot alk to..and i do..but he's asleep..possibly scik.i'm not sure..haven't spokent o him properly in weeks....... i miss him. he's okay :P just..i miss him. i love you.., you know ..? i just feel lonely.

anon / June 18, 2006 6:23 PM

i've cheated on different boyfriends 3 times
and the only boyfriend who i didnt cheat on, i think, told me he loved me just for sex,
and he got it.. more than once
i miss my first boyfriend
i was addicted to him, and the sex
he's now my best friend... with benefits
i think he wants me back, but i dont want him

anon / June 18, 2006 6:26 PM

i harmed myself when i split up with my boyfriend
and turned bulimic when we split up the second time
my other ex boyfriend joked that i was fat
so i turned bulimic again
i sometimes make myself sick just for the sake of it

anon / August 20, 2006 6:11 AM

i'm scared of toddlers, i have to run away.
i'm also scared that if i have a baby i will end up shaking it to keep it quiet

anon / August 20, 2006 6:22 AM

i like being asleep better than being awake, an sometimes i'm not sure if this is all real or not, that i am imagining everything.

Sarah / August 20, 2006 7:40 PM

August 20, 2006 06:22 AM

I thought i was the only one who thought that...

Sometimes i think i am dead an just remembering my life.

anon / August 22, 2006 5:08 AM

I always bitch, just to make me feel better.. but in the long run.. i know that they are better than me.. unless they bitch as well.

I also wish that i had bigger boobs because then maybe a guy would actully like me.

Yes my life is shit, i know i should enjoy what i have but it is so hard.

Sarah / August 22, 2006 5:10 AM

That is really sad who ever posted above me ^^

enjoy life to the fullest..
why not write 50 things you like about yourself. I did that.. even if i am up to only 4 i still did it.

try it oneday..

anon / August 22, 2006 7:20 AM

her and her friend made me lose my self confidnce.... i havnt had it now for a year..

I wish i could just go out tomorrow and have a lot.. but it isnt that easy

anon / August 23, 2006 6:14 AM

I shat today in a public toliet.. it smelt really bad and made a plop.

I rushed out after washing my hands and then told the person coming in that the person in there was making weird sounds and it now smelt bad. The lady i told waited till she came out.

AnOn / August 23, 2006 7:59 AM

Sometimes when i sneeze my eyes pop out of there sockets..

anonn / August 23, 2006 8:55 PM

Someday i wish to spit chewing gum from some stairs and then see if it lands on somebody.

Claire Williams / August 23, 2006 9:16 PM

last night i was in bed and i heard a strange noise so i went to parents room and my mum my dad and bob the next door neighbour where playing dress down.

mum was eating bob's sausage.

MGill / August 23, 2006 9:20 PM

I liked Alex Caine on King Island

Andrew / August 24, 2006 1:07 AM

Please don't post your name for saftey reasons, this is a safe secret site and we wish to keep it this way.

Don't forget to pass the word around about this site as well.

anon / August 27, 2006 3:28 AM

i really hate my boss.. hes such an asshole sometimes, he finds ways to make me feel like shit and less of a person and i think he gets off on it.... what a loser

anon / August 27, 2006 3:33 AM

I am obsessed with trying new types of drugs, for no reason too, i wish i could just not have feelings for them, ive been to rehab, but i just want to keep using

anon / August 27, 2006 3:35 AM

when i was a little kid, i got mad at my younger sister, so i peed on her bucket of bath toys. that night when my mom poured them in my sisters bath, she yelled and tried to blame me, so i blamed it on the neighbor boy who'd came over that day. she believed me.

anon / August 27, 2006 3:45 AM

One time, my grandpa gave me 60 dollars for gas money, i spent 40 of it on drugs. He died not long after that and i felt like shit for the longest time. R.I.P.

anon / August 27, 2006 4:53 PM

i dont want to not go even if other things are in the way because i am afraid that it will hurt them both so much. I dont want that.

annnoooonnnnn / August 27, 2006 4:57 PM

whatever happerns i will always and i mean always love you for you.

Please dont climb the stairs up to the next floor. Stay on the ground level always.

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MUM like you couldn't even imagine.

anon / August 27, 2006 11:34 PM

i'm afraid i have gotten my hopes up for nothing...

anon / August 29, 2006 12:05 AM

I am a guy, I am bulimic, and i am not gay

anon / September 4, 2006 9:13 PM

Theres a really cute chick that works in another department of the same store as me and my buddy says she checks me out all the time, and he always pressures me to talk to her but i never can find a reason to....

dana / September 21, 2006 9:46 PM

so, i still love you.

Anonymous / September 30, 2006 9:03 AM

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year or so now, and he decided to stop having sex with me because I got mad it wasn't as good as it used to be.

Part of me gets mad because I could have any guy i wanted, and my own boyfriend won't sleep with me.

And the other part wants to threaten him with cheating to MAKE him sleep with me.

anon / October 5, 2006 12:53 AM

I am an asshole to my mother, and i barely even saw it, i need to change something though, because a lot of my friends tell me I am an asshole to her. :(

anon / October 7, 2006 11:53 AM

My coworker is insecure, emotionally needy, has low self-esteem, has no imagination, and tries to put me down and boss me around all the time because I'm younger than her. Whenever I look at her, all I can think is "I hate you." I do.

anon / October 9, 2006 5:51 AM

(October 5, 2006 12:53 AM)


I am also mean to my mother. I know it though. She brings it apon her self. She always gets it her way and people always stick up for her when she is wrong anyway just because she has an illness. I am so fucking sick of it. I wish somebody would just say no thats not right your daugher is right but that hasnt been the case yet has it.,

anonymous / October 31, 2006 3:09 AM

One year i went trick or treating just to get free food, i wasnt dressed up or anything but the best thing i got was a packet of tim-tams,

anon / November 5, 2006 8:52 PM

every day im afraid that i made a mistake when i broke up with the love of my life and now i wont have anyone...

anon / November 6, 2006 8:02 PM

i secretly wish that my friends bf would dump her and she would lose her job because she doesnt deserve either....

anonymous / November 6, 2006 9:12 PM

sometimes, i think my cat loves me more that my friends and family.

bad credit home equity loans / November 8, 2006 4:17 AM

bad credit home equity loans

anonymous / November 8, 2006 10:11 PM

now you're back with her, and i feel like it's too late. i'll never have you.

no longer wanting to be anon / November 13, 2006 1:26 PM

I'm a Christian- a real one. Not one that is faking church every Sunday and forgetting about my Lord during the week. I love the Lord. And I love my husband. But I've cheated on him so many times. I promised myself and God that I'd never do it once we got married. We've been married a little over a year and I've done it 3 times. The first and second were with the same guy. An old flame I met up with again. The third was the first guy I ever had sex with ( over 8 years ago). And it was sooooo good. I hadnt seen this guy in 8 years and w/in a week of meeting up w/ him again it happened. I really like being on top and I got to with my ex. With my husband it doesnt work for some reason and I just want to shout " Geez! I've been on top with all the other guys, just let me do it" His number is way lower than mine. Lust is my biggest spiritual struggle. I CANT stop looking at and fantasizing about other men. Im just sexual like that.

ANON / November 13, 2006 1:37 PM

I love going down on my husband and I swallow so he will have a better orgasm. But I HATE the taste of his stuff. He thinks I like it.

anon / November 13, 2006 1:56 PM

I am supposed to be working. I have so much more work since i put in my notice. when i leave all the work i do for the team will be given back to them instead of getting a new person. AND they are getting another persons load b/c of restructuring. they dont know this at all. and they are going to drown. but i cant stop reading these posts and am hardly getting any work done.

i dont feel bad about it at all.

anon / November 13, 2006 2:10 PM

The lady who sits behind me is pretty obese. ( im not really in shape either) shes very nice and i like her. but she coughes ALL the time. ever since she has sat behind me- a while now- and its a BAD, phlemy (sp?) cough like its a disease in her lungs and throat and stuff. i really feel bad for her b/c she has alot of health problems. i cant help but think that if she ate better ( she eats junk and fast food all the time) and worked out that she'd get better. i really do feel bad for her but doesnt she want to be healthy??????

Sarah / November 14, 2006 1:28 AM

I love my boyfriend so much it hurts, but whenever he doesnt want to have sex I go through his phone and email, convinced he's cheating on me. He's not, as far as I can see, but that doesnt soothe my nagging, insecure ego.

Also, I get a serious jolt when I masturbate next to him while he's sleeping after such turn downs.

anon / November 18, 2006 1:02 PM

I have a girlfriend but i like other people too :(

anon / November 26, 2006 2:46 AM

there's a girl i know who is very nice, but i doubt her judgment with regard to her dropkick boyfriend. who drunkenly groped me several times. i doubt i'm the first but i won't tell her because i'm so scared she won't believe me.

anonymous / November 26, 2006 9:58 PM

shes's making really bad decisions, and i don't know what to do... please don't end up like the rest of your family.

anon / November 28, 2006 9:28 PM

I have so much shit to do in so little time, and i think all of this shit is a waste of time. I feel like im wasting my life doing stupid things and not getting ready to set up my life and im terrified

anonymous / December 7, 2006 9:16 PM

okay, i give up on everything. are you happy now? i'm not. i lost you and it's all my fault.

anon / December 7, 2006 11:22 PM

I've never made out with another person except another female when I was 14 (didn't count because it was for a picture.. yeah i was that stupid girl looking for attention.. lame, i know)

I'm 18 now and say "I hate kissing.." because I'm scared to kiss anyone. They would think I'm a bad kisser and I would feel stupid..

I really want to feel what it's like though.

anon / December 14, 2006 3:17 PM

I want to have sex with my best friend, but she's interested in another girl. I'm plotting evil sabotage.

anon / December 14, 2006 3:26 PM

I've masturbated with my roomates vibrator.

anon / December 15, 2006 3:48 AM

There are so many offers on the table, and the only one I'm interested in is the one I can't have.

none / December 21, 2006 6:54 PM

He makes me so happy
and we're not even dating
I have a boyfriend and he makes me satisifed
And I'm scared to break up with him
because if i do i throw away the friendship...
I have with his sister

anon / December 22, 2006 3:07 AM

he acts like he's interested and it drives me crazy, because he goes from girlfriend to girlfriend without stopping. and he's so provocative that sometimes i want to kiss him but i can't because for all i know, he's messing me around. but i want him more than i've wanted anyone.

anonymous / December 23, 2006 7:28 PM

i hate my best friend. a lot. she has no idea.

anonymous / January 1, 2007 10:50 PM

i spent new years alone

Toshard / January 30, 2007 6:27 PM

i'm secretly in love with my coworker whose name escapes me. he is just so cool and witty and everything that i wish i was. there are days that i want to kill him because he is just so cool. i've hired a hitman to kill him but it's going to be quite expensive appaerntly. that's ok just so long as it is a slow and painful death. he thinks we're friends but we are really SO MUCH MORE.

anonymous / February 19, 2007 9:07 PM

my husband says i'm fat. tells me if i ever start to feel good about my body that i need to look at myself in the mirror naked.

i weigh 112 pounds.

he makes me scared to eat anything.

anon / March 12, 2007 4:25 AM

RE: to anon feb. 19.

Fuck him, he is a jerk.
You know what you do.... you eat a lot of bad shit right in front of him. hahaha show that asshole!!

anon / March 12, 2007 4:26 AM

RE: to anon feb. 19.

Fuck him, he is a jerk.
You know what you do.... you eat a lot of bad shit right in front of him. hahaha show that asshole!!

dylan :D / March 20, 2007 9:26 PM

me and my sister are the only two in my family that speak french and we talk about EVERYONE right in front of them and i love it

ashley / March 24, 2007 4:51 PM

i have a single dorm room

i have a vibrator

my good guy friend found it the other day

on accident

he hasn't said anything


anonymous / March 25, 2007 12:35 AM

i think i'm in love with her.
i think i'm lesbian.

your friend / April 25, 2007 10:09 PM

I wish I never told you what I did. I regret it so much now. I REALLY hope you don't remember.

I talk so loud, I wish I'd just shut up.

anonymous / May 13, 2007 7:17 PM

i lie often, and i regret it.

anon / June 7, 2007 5:05 AM

Last year, my mother caught pneumonia. I watched her become more and more ill and never judged her ill enough to call emergency.
Later, the doctors in the ICU said that if her sickness had been caught earlier, she would never have spent the four months in hospital that she did.
They also said, had it been left another hour, she would be dead.
I nearly killed my mother.
I was only fifteen.

anon / June 12, 2007 4:33 PM

i wonder what the male species thinks of me.

anon / June 12, 2007 4:33 PM

i wonder what the male species thinks of me.

anon / June 12, 2007 4:33 PM

i wonder what the male species thinks of me.

anonymous. / June 24, 2007 2:50 PM

Heat, I love heat.
I love you.

Hanna / July 4, 2007 7:33 PM

I wish my mother would die. She brings nothing positive or good to the universe and, frankly, never has. She has always consumed her existence with negative, ugly thoughts and words and is harshly judgmental of everyone. She has never accepted responsibility for having done anything wrong, she is mean and nasty and has alienated every single friend and her only brother. My sweet and wonderful aunt is the only one (except me) that still talks to her and my aunt tells me she only does so for me - to support me. I feel awful for my aunt but I'll take any help I can get. My mother has end stage cancer and she hasn't skipped a beat - she's as ugly as ever. She demands constantly while living in my home, being cared for with private nurses and myself. She drives everyone insane. God forbid the water doesn't have ice in it. And this is how she's been since I was born. Forget how I feel about her - I just wish the cancer would take her already.

anonymous / July 8, 2007 5:26 PM

i reminisce about the beginning stages of our friendship and how wonderful they were. i miss the friendship we had, and lately i've come to the realization that i deserve to take the blame. i'm so sorry, i just want everything to be how it was. i love you.

11:11 i always wish for you.

stranger. / August 21, 2007 1:50 AM

i want to tell you im in love with you before you graduate next june.

i think i'm too scared,

anonymous / December 26, 2007 9:47 PM

i like you so much, & i'm just a girl that's "easy to talk to". your in love still with someone else, and you don't like me.

kat / February 18, 2012 6:08 PM

i failed my drivers test yesterday. when i got home i had two emails, both from employers that i had applied to. i didn't get either job. i was a mess, so i went to call my boss to tell her i couldn't go in. she made me come in... 2 hours early.

GB store

Recently on Fuel

Urban Ethos [26]
What is Chicago's "urban ethos"?

Cool Glass of... [16]
What're you drinking?

Supreme Decision [22]
What's your reaction to the Supreme Court's decision on the Affordable Care Act?

Taking it to the Streets [20]
Chicago Street Fairs: Revolting or Awesome?

I Can Be Cruel [9]
Be real: what is the meanest thing you've ever done?

View the complete archive

GB Store

GB Buttons $1.50

GB T-Shirt $12

I ✶ Chi T-Shirts $15