Gapers Block has ceased publication.

Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
 Thank you for your readership and contributions. 


Tuesday, March 5

Gapers Block

Gapers Block on Facebook Gapers Block on Flickr Gapers Block on Twitter The Gapers Block Tumblr


Audrey / August 12, 2003 2:12 PM

Joan Cusack.

A lex, x, x / August 12, 2003 2:24 PM

Wesley Willis!

Andrew / August 12, 2003 2:29 PM

"Rock on Chicago, rock over London, no new taxes!"

A lex, x, x / August 12, 2003 2:31 PM

And a headbutt if you try to veto!

Shylo / August 12, 2003 2:38 PM

W. Willis is currently battling Leukemia, so I don't think he'll have much time to stump in Kankakee.

amyc / August 12, 2003 2:51 PM

I don't think they were serious.

amyc / August 12, 2003 2:52 PM

Any member of the Cusack family would be alright with me.

A lex, x, x / August 12, 2003 2:56 PM

Wesley is sick? Awww man! I hadn't heard.

Kevin / August 12, 2003 2:56 PM

Me. Why?

Because I don't have a job. I'd be the bestest Guv ever for like the first six months. Six months is usually that period of time where new employees, fearing for their collective asses, will be on their best behavior. I'll have that hunger to do well. I promise. Any request will be met with a smile. Any bill or piece of legislation that crosses my desk, no matter how wacky and/or unrealistic will be signed by me. I won't care. I have to kiss ass, you see.

Gambling? No problem. Four day work weeks? Glad you asked. Indoor smoking ban? Not so fast buddy. Hell, I'll even toss in a free pony if you promise to let me slide for the rest of my term. At the end of my six productive months I'll be bounced after a tryst involving scotch, midgets and a hanging basket in a Motel 6 but just know this:

I will have done my best for you, the great people of Arkans.... Uh..Err.. Illinois. Yeah thats it.

Cinnamon / August 12, 2003 2:57 PM

Dennis Rodman. Even though he's fled for more colorful locales, Chicago could use his antics.

A lex, x, x / August 12, 2003 3:06 PM

Oh my god! You used the words "bestest," "midgets" and "scotch" to rope in this constituent. You have my vote Kevin!

Andrew / August 12, 2003 3:23 PM

Governor? Hell, Kevin for President!

Benjy / August 12, 2003 3:41 PM

I'd have to put my money on Oprah...

kegz / August 12, 2003 4:15 PM

Dennis Franz

stephen / August 12, 2003 4:44 PM

Aye, sad thing about Wesley. Hope he gets back in the saddle soon. Perhaps the Fiasco can fill in for him. Or maybe we can get Hulk Hogan in from Florida. He can wrassle Jesse Ventura on pay-per-views to mend our budget defecits. Winner gets both states, sucka!

Naz / August 12, 2003 5:01 PM

Bill Clinton. Or George Clinton. Illinois: the State of Funk.

miss ellen / August 12, 2003 5:29 PM

we WANT the FUNK! hehe, good ones all around.

Wiz of Odds / August 12, 2003 5:29 PM

Publicly, I'd want Walter Burnett to run. Anything that'd piss off all those downstate hillbillies.

Privately, Ricky Henderson. He plays for the Dodger, but this is his hometown. Have you ever heard this guy talk?

Instead of attending State Senate debates, John Cusack could just stand outside and hold a boombox over his head, playing a tape of Lyndon Johnson yelling at Strom Thurmond. And then he could pass the same tepid, lovable bill ever year or so.

Kevin / August 12, 2003 6:02 PM

"Ricky Henderson would make a great governor because Ricky Henderson is in touch with the people and Ricky Henderson has the life experience to help the great State Of Illinois"

-- Ricky Henderson

christian / August 13, 2003 12:08 AM

I’d like to be the lieutenant governor, hell if Benson can do it after being a butler on “soap” I should be a shoe in.

Phineas / August 13, 2003 9:42 AM

Studs Terkel.

Or else Rizzo the Rat from Chic-A-Go-Go.

Or maybe that guy who carries the anti-communist sandwichboard up and down Michigan Avenue.

Or that guy who goes around dressed like Jesus.

Governor Jesus!

GB store

Recently on Fuel

Urban Ethos [26]
What is Chicago's "urban ethos"?

Cool Glass of... [16]
What're you drinking?

Supreme Decision [22]
What's your reaction to the Supreme Court's decision on the Affordable Care Act?

Taking it to the Streets [20]
Chicago Street Fairs: Revolting or Awesome?

I Can Be Cruel [9]
Be real: what is the meanest thing you've ever done?

View the complete archive

GB Store

GB Buttons $1.50

GB T-Shirt $12

I ✶ Chi T-Shirts $15