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Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
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Monday, February 26

Gapers Block

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Andrew Huff / October 31, 2010 7:29 PM

Question suggested by Ian. If you've got a good one for Fuel, email it to!

Andrew Huff / November 1, 2010 12:45 AM

In high school I once took my parents' minivan over a jump-like rise in the road at about 80mph, launching it a good 30 feet. I had a couple friends in the car with me, along with two pairs of Little Caesar's pizzas, back when they came next to each other wrapped in paper. We went up on two wheels after we landed, and the pizzas ended up on top of each other.

Arch / November 1, 2010 1:23 AM

During a long road trip, smoke pot from a large bong that had been painted with the message 'fuck you' (part of a contentious dispute about ownership). If the police had ever pulled us over, the multi-level unnecessary confrontationality could have led to really bad results.

Charlie D. / November 1, 2010 7:37 AM

I'm gonna have to plead the fifth your honor.

Hank / November 1, 2010 9:43 AM

I lost my car keys, about 100 dollar replacement value. For two days I drove around the city with a spare and parked at half a dozen places. Then I found my keys... on the roof of my car.

Mucky Fingers / November 1, 2010 11:02 AM

Driving from Chicago to Memphis without lots of coffee and rock n roll, cause the drive is BORING. I almost fell asleep more than once.

LDW / November 1, 2010 3:17 PM

This sounds/reads like a "Family Feud" question. :-)

AndyM / November 1, 2010 3:50 PM

In college, I obliterated my parents car by rear ending someone and then promptly being rear ended by the guy behind me, and then, supposedly, hitting the guy in front of me a second time. That last point I still contend the dude made up... ah, lawsuits!

goth / November 1, 2010 3:53 PM

I had sex with a chick in the backseat of my car outside Martyrs. I guess it would have been dumb if we had gotten caught.

Amanda / November 1, 2010 4:16 PM

The dumbest thing by far that I've ever done is to take a ride from someone who was so drunk they could barely function. I too was drunk, and not in the position to make a good decision. I think we came home on Lakeshore Drive (neither of us had much memory of getting home), which could have been a really really bad scene. I thank God Almighty that we did not kill ourselves and others. That was like 10 years ago, and every time I think of it I shudder at my stupidity and dumb luck.

Sally / November 2, 2010 11:57 AM

Driving while 14. Got away with it for a good six months or so, every time my parents were away. I would dress up like my mom (picture skinny, white, mullett-wearing teenager sporting sweater with golf and tennis appliques, head scarf and gigantic sunglasses), grab my 12-year-old sister, wave at the neighbors saying "Hi!" supposedly like my mom ... and take off.

When my Dad found out he kicked my ass.

George / November 2, 2010 3:14 PM

Wow so many things to chose from, but it has to be the time my friend and I ate acid and did donuts on the iced over school parking lot with him hanging out the window staring at the ground the whole time.

Lauren / November 2, 2010 4:45 PM

I accidentally side swiped a CTA bus with my car. I had just moved to the city and wasn't used to the narrow roads. I underestimated the amount of space I had. All were ok, except for the passenger side of my car. :/

bob / November 2, 2010 5:02 PM

Many moons ago, in high school, driving north on 94/Dan Ryan in the local lanes. My plan was to get off at the 35th Street exit. Somehow I, for lack of a better term, 'lost control of the car' and ended up spinning out, counter clockwise, and coming to a complete stop facing the wrong direction - south - in the northbound lanes. Scared the crap out of me. No one was near enough to hit me or be hit by me, thank goodness. With my hands shaking and heart bursting out of my chest, I managed to turn the car around and proceed to the off ramp while the cars behind me, which had come to a stop, kindly waited.

ladyfingers / November 2, 2010 11:26 PM

shaved my legs while driving. (luckily,this was before I drove stickshift)

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