Gapers Block has ceased publication.

Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
 Thank you for your readership and contributions. 


Tuesday, May 21

Gapers Block

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Naz Bon Jovi / July 28, 2003 12:26 PM

Leigh was pretty spot-on with the Cowboy Hat thing. There's something inherently cool about a Cowboy Hat, as I've seen them everywhere. In Kuala Lumpur it's a thing for sure. I've always thought about getting one but until I get a pair of cowboy boots with it, I'll wait it out a little while longer. Girls with cowboy hats = cute and sexy.

I blame it on Clint Eastwood.

"Cause I'm wanted...dead or alive."

Benjy / July 28, 2003 2:25 PM

I have seen more than a couple cowboy hats lately. But since fashion fads tend to follow approx. 20 year lags, it's only a matter of time before we're sporting pastel colored Don Johnson blazers!

j3s "electroRASH" davis / July 28, 2003 2:45 PM

Speaking of Miami Vice blazers pushed up to the elbow, a fashion fad I'd like to see die already is the 80's revival, especially among those too young to remember how horrendous it was the first time around.

lacey / July 28, 2003 2:48 PM

Bowling bags: Louis Vuitton needs to stop egging on the fashionistas. Bowling bags are for bowling balls.

Andrew / July 28, 2003 3:15 PM

Schlitz will be the new PBR!

Craig / July 28, 2003 3:35 PM

Re: Cowboy hats as the new trucker hats?

Isn't the urban-cowboy look a few years dated now? I mean Alt.Cntry is *SO* 2002...

Paul "Punky QB" / July 28, 2003 3:43 PM

Headbands will make a comeback.

After Schlitz, it's definitely Old Milwaukee's turn.

Shylo / July 28, 2003 3:52 PM

We've gone through the recent Stevie Nicks "peasant" look. But I predict next year's trend will be the "Showtime, Synergy!" lone earring from "JEM and the Holograms."

Andrew / July 28, 2003 3:57 PM

Truly truly truly outrageous!

How that show didn't get sued for calling the rival band The Misfits is beyond me.

Naz Bon Jovi / July 28, 2003 4:22 PM

Headbands are already back in a small group of punk rock bands that have invaded MTV2. That and sweatbands. While I understand the nature of them when a band plays live, I have seen many a "hipster" in Chicago wear them mid-forearm in Chicago. Which is fine I suppose. The placement doesn't make much sense to me though.

We need to bring no-sock Dockers back. Oh wait, people still do that.

Leigh Hanlon / July 28, 2003 4:39 PM

Naz -- go ahead and get the cowboy hat and don't worry about the boots. I was out last Saturday night with the hat and combat boots and I pulled off the look just fine. Here's how I handled a comment about the footwear.

Guy at Bar: Hey! Where're your cowboy boots?

Me: They're still up the ass of the last guy who asked me that question.

Ian / July 28, 2003 5:49 PM

I was out last Saturday night with a pair of painted-on blue jeans and loafers with no socks.

Naz Clint Beastwood / July 28, 2003 6:07 PM

Leigh, thanks for the support, I may indeed get one.

Ian, I used to wear dockers sans socks back in Kuala Lumpur, probably a decade ago, many people there still do. My dad does. Aside from dockers eventually stinkin' up, it's pretty comfy.

A lex, x, x / July 28, 2003 10:01 PM

I LOVE Southern men, that is only if they are not wearing cowboy hats. If you're wearing a cowboy hat (unless you're Clint Eastwood) you're a BIG dork in my book. Yankees (that's right, I said "Yankees") have no business wearing cowboy hats.

Wiz of Odds / July 28, 2003 11:19 PM

Cowboy chic is already alive and well, along with trucker chic. They almost go hand in hand. Tight jeans, buckles, boots, flannel--you see it fairly often in the Hipster Slums. The only thing missing, in fact, is the cowboy hat. So I wouldn't be surprised.

I think headbands made a comeback because of The Royal Tenenbaums. Wes Anderson is haute couture in the Hipster Slums...I wear the wristbands mid-forearms when I play basketball. I call that Kobe Bryant Chic. At least I did before the recent unpleasantness.

Eric / July 29, 2003 1:04 AM

Cowboy hats remind me too much of the south. I've got a lot of bad memories about that place despite the fact that I've never been there. Not that I have anything against people from the south; it's just that I don't like their beliefs, attitudes, fashion trends, accents, weather, insistence on marrying their relatives and tendency to run for political office. When you see a guy wearing a cowboy hat, it's pretty safe to assume he's been in a fight within the last six months, is familiar with his home-state DUI laws, owns at least one leather NASCAR/Marlboro coat and wears it on special occasions and has really good aim when he spits. That said, cowboy hats as a fashion trend is a very tricky thing. It's context-sensitive. Country bar? Yes. Movie theatre? No. Herding cattle across the great plains? Yes. Headphone industry trade show? No.

Besides, isn't it true that to be truly trendy you can't know you're being trendy? If you want a cowboy hat because you heard it's an emerging trend, you shouldn't get one because the trend is already over. Practically, it never works this way, of course and I'm on a personal crusade to make sweatpants as hip as hair cream, a goal I've had ever since I contracted terminal apathy. Only a select few can claim true coolness, but they'd be too cool to know it. It's all arbitrary, anyway. What is the difference between a person who doesn't follow trends and a person who sets them? SOMEBODY has influence and lets just be glad it's not Don Johnson anymore.

Kevin / July 29, 2003 2:10 AM

Ah, the trucker hat. The "Beat It" jacket of the aughts.

kegz / July 29, 2003 8:28 AM

Make a real committment. Wear a top hat.

A lex, x, x / July 29, 2003 9:00 AM

I'm with Kegz! Wear a top hat and some spats on your shoes and run from the pack.

Shylo / July 29, 2003 9:29 AM

I'd like to bring back the rib-crushing corset, because fainting is cool.

Wendy / July 29, 2003 10:15 AM

Why just cowboy hats? That's so not fair to the rest of The Village People.

Marc / July 29, 2003 11:00 AM

Blurg... cowboy hats.. come ON! Maybe boots but leave the hats alone. Cowboy hats scream late '90s sorority girl to me.

Things that are cool:
Short shorts on guys.
Headbands (wear a cycling one for extra cool points.)
Maybe fanny packs but the world might not be ready for that yet.

Things that haven't been cool for a long time:
Trucker hats
Cowboy hats
Vintage cowboy shirts

Things that will never be cool:
Top hats
Leather chaps

Andrew / July 29, 2003 11:05 AM

What about rubber chaps, Marc?

Marc / July 29, 2003 11:11 AM

Addendum -

Things that will never be cool:
Top hats

kegz / July 29, 2003 11:19 AM

If top hats are out then I'm gonna bring the monocle back in -- monopoly style.

A lex, x, x / July 29, 2003 11:21 AM

Not cool:
Trucker hats, the I-haven't-washed-my-hair-in-one-month-look, emo kids who cry (I'll give you something to cry about!), sun visors, cop sunglasses, fake vintage t-shirts, wearing boots in the summer --seriously, ladies, what gives?! I know it's been cool outside but it's not cool enough to bust out your winter books.

Not looking like everyone else and finding your own look.

Naz Clint Beastwood / July 29, 2003 11:49 AM

Holy shit Alex, I do and own all of those things.

You know Marc, if you head down to Michigan Ave on a Saturday afternoon, you'll see people who wear their short shorts, fanny packs, headbands, carrot cut jeans, polos, khaki's, polyester sport jackets and Keds for reals! And where are they from? They're from here! They're MIDWESTERNERS.

Naz Midwesterner / July 29, 2003 11:50 AM

The midwest is so hip, it just doesn't know it yet. Thus the hip factor.

Wendy / July 29, 2003 12:23 PM

I'll argue the boots point a little. I think wearing knee-high zip-up boots anytime before October is goofy. But there are times and places where sandals won't cut it--like if I'm at a concert I'm going to want my scuffy shit-kicking boots.

Ryan P / July 29, 2003 12:26 PM

Poop is the new pee.

A lex, x, x / July 29, 2003 12:38 PM

Yeah, but Naz baby, you ARE cool as fuck so you can wear anything you want and still look like you.

And damn, "poop is the new pee." Ryan, I just about peed -- NO pooped my pants reading that!!!

Naz Poopity Poo! / July 29, 2003 12:43 PM

If poop is the new pee, then I'm HOT SHIT.

Alex, no, no, you're COOL AS SHIT. Hottt baby!

Alex "my shit don't stink" V. / July 29, 2003 1:01 PM

"Gapers Block: When only the hottest writers will do."

Marc / July 29, 2003 1:09 PM

Addendum -

Things that will never be cool:
Top hats
Carrot cut jeans
Polyester sports jackets

Alex "Naz called me hottt" V. / July 29, 2003 1:12 PM

What are carrot cut jeans?

lacey / July 29, 2003 1:36 PM

Are those the kind that are cut like a "v" on the bottom? Or are those the tapered-leg kind?

I will stick up for the south (I usually do...duh): in Nashville, the cowboy hat will never, ever go out of style, and as long as I'm alive cowboy boots will be worn in the heat of summer and the snow of winter there. And cowboy boots are damn sexy so it's all good.

There were people at my high school proms for God's sake in cowboy hats and boots. No joke. They were "formal" style cowboy hats and boots, too.

Naz "I'll say it again: Alexxx is hottt" / July 29, 2003 1:57 PM

Carrot cut jeans are tapered for sure. We're talking 80's jeans. Long live the bootcut! And while we're at it, let's keep the straight leg shall we. Let us leave carrot cut denim-wash tie-dye jeans where they belong. In the past!

A lex, x, x / July 29, 2003 2:09 PM

Straight leg, ankle length please! Whomever brought bell-bottoms a.k.a. "FLARES" back needs to be flogged.

No Naz, you HOTTTTT. If Naz and I were to be in the same room together, we'd probably cancel each other out.

Naz "Too hottt for GB" / July 29, 2003 2:20 PM

And now I know why the GB party was a bust for me. All your fault. I'm going to have to step down, too much heattt at the GB.

Shylo / July 29, 2003 3:06 PM

Enough nonsense! I claim this question for Spain. No more hanky-panky.

alicia / July 29, 2003 3:29 PM

long pointy shoes. unless your toenails are 2 inches long, you don't need that extra space.

during my last trip to nordstrom i noted a lack of pointy shoes for next season. so this could be a passing trend. hurrah to all women who did not fall fashion victim to this hideous fad.

A lex, x, x / July 29, 2003 4:58 PM

*giggle* Shylo said "Hanky-Panky"

That is SO hot!

Naz "Too hottt for GB" / July 29, 2003 9:30 PM

Can someone explain the Trixie baseball hat phenomenon?

A lex, x, x "Sees Naz and Swoons" V. / July 29, 2003 9:40 PM

I believe it is a safety net of sorts to keep their smallish brains from floating away..... And the white scrunchie sticking out of the back serves as an additional anchor.

Leigh Hanlon / July 29, 2003 9:59 PM

A cowboy hat doesn't necessarily mean the wearer is intolerant. During my many years in Wyoming, I never experienced any significant problems as a relatively out-of-the-closet homosexual. I even got caught admiring a bullrider's package in Casper's famed Wonder Bar one night and lived to tell the tale. (Survival tip: When a guy demands to know why you're staring at his crotch, say you're admiring his PRCA belt buckle to defuse the situation and ask, "So, you rodeo, huh?")

Indeed, it wasn't until a vacation in San Francisco that I was told to "Get the hell outta the street you fuckin' faggot!"

As regards the Matthew Shepard tragedy, this was an anomaly and doesn't represent Wyoming's accepting, frontier attitude. While we're on the subject, does anyone really believe the case would have been anything more than a wire-service footnote if Shepard had been fat, bald and 40?

Kegz / July 29, 2003 10:28 PM

The trixie baseball hat phenomenon is a plot set up by trixie boyfriends. The girls break in the hats and get em all nice and used. Then the guy starts wearing it once it's all old and dirty looking.

Re: Shepard, see Laci Peterson. Would this be a Fox news story everyday if she weren't an attractive mom?

Leigh Hanlon / July 30, 2003 12:05 AM

Re: Laci Peterson, aren't we overdue for the Lifetime Channel female-in-jeopardy movie? Hubby Scott could wear a cowboy hat.

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