As of January 1, 2016, Gapers Block has ceased publication. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
 Thank you for your readership and contributions over the past 12-plus years. 

TODAY

Wednesday, November 22

Gapers Block
Search

Gapers Block on Facebook Gapers Block on Flickr Gapers Block on Twitter The Gapers Block Tumblr


Fuel

Greg / October 9, 2009 6:56 AM

The blank ones are always the most prophetic.

M / October 9, 2009 8:06 AM

"You will attend a party where strange customs prevail"

I took that as an omen, and threw one myself. I copied the fortune extra large as an invitation.

Dang, that was a fun party.

JRJ / October 9, 2009 8:26 AM


"The world COULD be a better place without drugs."

Dov. B. / October 9, 2009 8:29 AM

"You think it is a secret but it never has been one."

Olivia / October 9, 2009 8:42 AM

I once got one that said "You will live." That really didn't make me feel a whole lot better about the food I had just eaten.

Brion / October 9, 2009 9:11 AM

I once cracked open a fortune cookie and a spider crawled out of it.

I figured it was telling me to no longer eat fortune cookies.

bob / October 9, 2009 9:13 AM

i got one that was a bit rude - telling me to not be so self absorbed and that the world doesn't revolve around me. i was a little hurt.

Tabitha / October 9, 2009 9:26 AM

A few months before my 30th birthday, I moved to a city where I knew absolutely no one. So, my birthday was spent alone over Chinese carryout. The worst part came when I opened the fortune cookie and found NOTHING inside. Talk about staring into the abyss.

lmy / October 9, 2009 9:32 AM

"he who loves you will follow you"
i keep it in my wallet.

Carrie / October 9, 2009 9:47 AM

"your socks should never be funnier than you are"

and I had one that said something like "people think you're nice" ...something dorky that made me smile, so I taped it to my computer at work where it lived for a while... until someone stole it.

J / October 9, 2009 9:47 AM

My girlfriend gave me one that said, "Only the educated are free." I was mulling going back to school for the third time. I've kept it in my wallet ever since. Got my Bachelor's last June.

jen / October 9, 2009 10:22 AM

once I got one that said, "remember, we are always watching you."

i know of someone who received, "your greatest weakness may be your stupidity."

now i am allergic to fortune cookies. does that mean i'm no longer being watched??

annie / October 9, 2009 10:24 AM

"You are sociable and can get along with anyone"

It's been taped to my monitor at work for 3 years.

KK / October 9, 2009 10:49 AM

"You love Chinese food."

Unfortunately, the meal was just okay.

kleinstadt / October 9, 2009 11:03 AM

"You are an ancient Viking warrior." Made even weirder by playing the "in bed" game.

Kevin / October 9, 2009 12:36 PM

I got one that said: You enjoy team sports.

True, but not much of a fortune.

clodius / October 9, 2009 12:43 PM

"You will hurt your foot."

Billy / October 9, 2009 1:56 PM

Funniest:
You will be unusual successful in business.

Michael / October 10, 2009 12:03 AM

"Sell your ideas. They are totally acceptable."

lori / October 10, 2009 11:13 AM

"A pound of pluck is worth a ton of luck"

I have big plans to embroider that onto a fortune shaped pillow. BIG plans. because of all of my pluck.

sarah / October 10, 2009 2:59 PM

"there is a nice cake waiting for you."

funniest, cutest fortune ever!

Dubi / October 11, 2009 2:33 PM

"Lead in toys builds character"

Rose / October 12, 2009 12:00 AM

"A committee of one gets things done."

It's true.

HOP / January 5, 2010 1:24 PM

I kid you not: "Support Capitalism. Buy a Box of Fortune Cookies"

GB store

Recently on Fuel

Urban Ethos [26]
What is Chicago's "urban ethos"?

Cool Glass of... [16]
What're you drinking?

Supreme Decision [22]
What's your reaction to the Supreme Court's decision on the Affordable Care Act?

Taking it to the Streets [20]
Chicago Street Fairs: Revolting or Awesome?

I Can Be Cruel [9]
Be real: what is the meanest thing you've ever done?

View the complete archive

GB Store

GB Buttons $1.50

GB T-Shirt $12

I ✶ Chi T-Shirts $15